Title: No more sweets
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #5 One chocolate cake please
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 1/? of the ‘No more sweets’ series. A nasty comment makes Garcia go on a diet.
warnings: none

She was in an exceptionally good mood today. After all, it was her birthday and this year her team, her elective affinity, wasn’t on a case out of town. They were planning on having a small breakfast together and Penelope wanted to bring a cake, a chocolate cake because she knew it was Derek’s favorite.

And Derek himself would take her out for dinner. Not that it was very special for them to go out but for this one day she could at least pretend that it might be a date. Even though she knew that it wasn’t.

So she almost floated into the bakery and smiled at the man behind the counter. “I’d like to have a chocolate cake, please.� she told him happily.

“She looks like that’s her daily breakfast.� a skinny girl drinking coffee at a nearby table said to her even skinnier friend.

“Well, maybe she doesn’t care about her appearance.� the other girl giggled. “Maybe she’s already married or something.�

“Wow, he must be really ugly – or blind.� the first girl giggled.

“Or she’s rich.� the second girl shrugged.

Eyeing Penelope up the first girl grimaced: “A rich girl wouldn’t dress like THAT!�

Penelope pretended not to hear them. It wasn’t that she wasn’t used to comments like that. But it still hurt, especially on a day like this. And she immediately knew that she wouldn’t eat a piece of the chocolate cake – and if she did she wouldn’t be able to enjoy it.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe that was why Derek never asked her out, why he wasn’t interested in her that way, maybe that was why they’d never be more than friends.

She forced herself to smile at the man behind the counter, thanked him and left as fast as she could – but not fast enough to hear some other nasty comments that made tears spring to her eyes.

She made it to her car before she started sobbing, but it only took a moment and she had collected herself again. This was her birthday, her team was around to celebrate with her and Derek was taking her out tonight. And she would not let some nasty chicks get her down today! So she took a deep breath and headed for the bureau.

“Good morning, birthday girl.� Derek greeted happily as he walked into her office and reached for her hands to pull her into a tight embrace.

“I’ll show you a good morning, hot stuff.� Penelope smiled as she leaned into his embrace and closed her eyes.

Derek frowned and lifted her head to make her look at him: “Are you alright, honey?�

“Of course, I am.� she put him off. “It’s my birthday. When do we start breakfast?�

“Don’t evade my question, girl!� Derek frowned, his thumb brushed tenderly over the trail her tears had left on her cheeks. “What’s wrong with you, mama? You’ve been crying.�

“It’s nothing.� she objected.

Derek just raised an eyebrow at her.

Penelope sighed: “I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Right now I want some hugs and a lot of presents.�

“Okay.� he gave a small laugh and then kissed the top of her nose. “I can at least guarantee for the first.� Chuckling Derek wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her into the meeting room.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!� everyone shouted when Penelope and Derek entered the room. And then everyone hugged her, even Rossi and Hotch. They just seemed to know that she really needed that today.

The table was loaded with bread, jam, cheese and lots of fruits. It looked like they’d ordered a catering service to decorate everything. “Oh, you really surpassed yourself.�

“This was JJ’s idea.� Emily announced.

“But Hotch and Rossi helped me set the table.� she grinned at her bosses.

Penelope felt new tears spring to her eyes. She couldn’t remember when the last time someone had made so much effort for her.

“Alright, let’s eat, I’m starving!� Reid announced to lighten the mood – and to end the somewhat uncomfortable silence that had started filling the room.

“That’s a great idea.� Derek agreed. “I know that there’s a chocolate cake waiting for me.�

“Hey, you’re not the one having birthday.� JJ scolded.

“Nope, but I still get presents.� Derek grinned at JJ and then waggled his eyebrows at Penelope who sat down next to him. “Thanks to my girl who’s spoiling me senseless.�

“Anything for you, my chocolate Adonis.� she flirted back.

JJ rolled her eyes as she sat down opposite her flirting coworkers. “Yeah, all he needs is more self-confidence.�

“No, I just need as much TLC as I can get.� he chuckled.

Reid stopped in the middle of his attempt to shove a huge piece of cake into his mouth. “TLC?� he raised his eyebrows at his coworkers.

Penelope giggled and reached out to ruffle his hair. “Tender loving care, sweet pea. Something you could definitely use, too.�

The young agent’s cheeks turned a nice shade of pink causing the three girls to giggle.

“Hey, hey, hey! Do I need to be jealous?� Derek teased making Reid blush even more.

“You know I have a big heart.� Penelope winked at him.

“Yeah, but still I’d rather all of it belonged to me.� he mock-pouted.

Penelope just shrugged: “Well then, stud muffin, try and win it!�

He just smiled at her. She so had no idea that he already had made up his mind about the perfect plan on how to do so.

Title: Temptation
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #14 Bite
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 2/? of the ‘No more sweets’ series. Derek tries his best to lighten Penelope’s mood – and he’s not being entirely altruistic.
warnings: none

Derek eyed her up once more as she picked at the salad she had ordered. “Okay�, he finally sighed, “spill it!�

Penelope looked up and raised both her eyebrows at him. “Spill what?�

“Come on, baby girl.� Derek frowned. She hardly ever kept anything from him. “I know that there’s something wrong with you. You haven’t taken one bite of the cake you bought and you’re not even eating your salad. So what was it that spoiled your appetite?�

“Nothing.� she lied. “My appetite is just fine I’m not hungry, that’s all.�

“Come on, baby girl, don’t lie to me!� Derek insisted. “Tell me what’s wrong with you!�

“Nothing, really.� she lied again letting her head drop and then sighed. He’d been so sweet and caring the whole day long and done his best to make sure she felt special today. Lying to him was so not the way to thank him. But telling him the truth was just too embarrassing. “It’s just not been my day.� she added silently.

“It’s your birthday, goddess.� Derek reached over the table to take her hand in his and squeezed it slightly making her look up at him again. “If this day isn’t your day then which other day will be?�

All she could do was give him a rather sad smile.

“Well�, Derek gave her his most irresistible smirk, stood up and gently pulled her to her feet, “it seems that I’ll have to try my best to make it your day then.�

“Derek, you know I don’t…� but before Penelope could say anything more she was drawn onto the dance floor and dangerously close to his muscular body.

“I know you don’t dance in public.� Derek was so close to her that Penelope could feel his hot breath against her neck and… had he just actually sniffed her hair?! “I just thought that you might make an exception – for me.�

“You think you’re irresistible, don’t you?!� Penelope gasped more than said. And God was he right about it! No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t keep herself from leaning into his embrace and letting him gently sway her across the dance floor.

“Well, I must be since you’re dancing with me.� Derek grinned.

“I’m not dancing.� Penelope mumbled into his chest as she closed her eyes happily. God, this man knew how to make you forget about bitchy girls and their nasty comments.

“You’re swaying rhythmically to the music.� he argued. “Most people would call that dancing.�

“I’m not most people.� she insisted.

“Stop arguing with me, baby girl!� he softly scolded. “I want you to close your eyes, forget about everything bad that happened today or the whole year and just enjoy the moment.� he whispered into her ear. “Do you think you can do that for me?�

“You’re not making it too hard.� she mumbled into his neck and wrapped her arms closer around him. It wasn’t exactly the first time she danced in public. And she’d stopped doing that years ago for a very good reason. But it was the first time she danced with Derek and it felt like a dream coming true. So she honestly didn’t care about the looks she was sure they were receiving.

And what did it matter?! For at least one hour Penelope was in heaven, so close to the sexiest man on earth – at least in her opinion – that she could actually feel his muscles move under his skin while they danced. She felt so warm and sheltered in his arms and for a few moments the world outside with all its skinny girls and nasty comments stopped existing.

And then his voice suddenly brought her back to earth, so soft and warm that it made her feel completely safe, as if the rest of the world couldn’t harm her no matter how hard it tried. It was strange how his voice always had this effect on her.

“Well, goddess, I hope our dancing made you hungry.� Derek said in a low voice while they were softly swaying to the last chords of Percy Sledge’s ‘When a man loves a woman’.

“Hmm… not really.� she replied not yet willing to end their embrace nor their soft dancing.

“That’s a shame considering the fact that your favorite dessert is waiting for you.� Derek teased and winked at her as he pulled her back towards the table causing her to make a sound of complaint she couldn’t suppress when her body lost the contact to his.

Penelope bit her lip when she sat back on the table and looked down at the plate with the tempting sweet sitting in front of her. It wasn’t that she had a weak will or that a simple sweet could make her forget all about her diet. But some sweets were the one thing – tiramisu something completely different.

When she didn’t reach out for the fork waiting next to the promised sweet Derek shoved a big piece of the tiramisu into his own mouth and mumbled: “Come on, baby cakes, try it! It’s great!�

“I’m… really not hungry.� she tried to convince herself. Seriously, how should she resist now that the sweet smell of Amaretto filled her nose?!

But he could see the struggle written all over her face. Grinning Derek took her fork and pointed at the tiramisu: “You know, I’m gonna feed you if I have to.�

And things were getting better. Penelope sighed. How was she supposed to resist any longer?!

“Come on, just one bite!� he tried again, his voice so seductive that Penelope felt the last bit of resistance – and self-discipline – crumble beneath it, as he held the fork with a piece of tiramisu right in front of her face.

Okay, that was it! If Derek and that tiramisu were working together trying to subvert her good intentions, fine! It was her birthday after all!

Derek smiled as he watched Penelope take the bite of tiramisu he had offered and then swallowed as she closed her eyes and made a sound she definitely shouldn’t make in public.

“This is the best tiramisu I ever had.� she sighed happily. When she opened her eyes and saw the expression on his face she had to fight hard not to blush too deeply – wishing that her make-up could cover it somehow. She really should watch her reactions!

“What, have you never seen someone enjoying their food before?!� she mumbled and took the fork from him to eat the rest of her dessert.

Derek shook his head slightly in a desperate attempt to clear it of the images her reaction had evoked. “Not to that extent.� he admitted in a low voice as he made a mental note to always have some tiramisu at home from now on – just in case.

They enjoyed the rest of their dessert in silence and Penelope tried her best to suppress whatever sounds wanted to escape her throat. And since it was already after ten and they were supposed to be at work the next day they decided to call it a night.

Much to Penelope’s surprise Derek insisted on taking her home even though she desperately tried to convince him that she could as well take a cab. Was he actually up to something? And if so what would that be?

“Good night, handsome.� Penelope smiled at him as she turned from the door to her apartment she had just unlocked towards him: “And thanks for taking me home.�

Much unlike Derek he just stood there, looking at the floor for a moment, took a deep breath and then raised his head to smile at her.

“Um… Do you want to come in and make sure that there’s no one in there?� she teased in an attempt to lighten up the mood.

“No, no… I’m… sure you’re gonna be fine.� he smiled.

Okay, is it just me or is he nervous? Why on earth would he be?! Maybe… No, Penelope, DO NOT even begin to think that!

“Good night, goddess.� Derek finally said and took a step forward to pull her into his arms.

Penelope inhaled his scent deeply as she let her head fall against his chest. What did it matter what his intentions were if they provided her with another embrace?!

“Baby girl, there’s something I need to ask you.� Derek finally spilled the beans.

“Whatever it is, the answer is yes.� she sighed.

“I’m serious, sweetness.� Derek insisted. “This is important to me.�

She frowned and unwillingly raised her head to look up at him.

Derek held her eyes while he explained: “My sister Sarah is going to marry her long-time boyfriend. And I’m supposed to bring someone with me...�

Penelope looked at him waiting for the exact question he wanted to ask her after his voice had trailed off. When he didn’t say anything in addition and his words began to sink in it suddenly hit her and her eyes widened almost in shock: “Wait, you want to bring ME with you?�

He just slowly nodded his head not entirely sure whether he was asking too much from her. This was special, for his family, for his sister and therefore for him. And he wanted to share it with someone special – and he honestly didn’t want to go to his sister’s wedding with someone he would introduce to his family that day if that person wasn’t Penelope.

“But… why?� she whispered. When she saw the slight disappointment evident on his face she quickly added: “I mean, I’m honored and totally and completely speechless but… why would you want to go there with me? It’s not like you have to beg for a date…�

“This is a special day.� Derek replied honestly. “And I want to share this with someone who is special to me. I don’t want to go there with any girl. I mean, you will meet my family and it’s a really big deal for them, especially for my mother. I want to be sure that they meet someone who really means something to me.�

Penelope’s eyes filled with tears. These were the most beautiful words anyone had ever said to her. She wanted to answer something equally meaningful but all she managed to get past her lips was a voiceless ‘Oh’. Not exactly the most eloquent answer.

“So… Is that a yes?� Derek carefully asked.

“Most definitely!� she nodded and raised up to kiss his cheek.

“Great.� he sighed with relief and leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Thanks, baby girl. Oh, and my family wants to meet you beforehand so we’re gonna have dinner with them in about a week. I hope that’s not a problem.�

Penelope swallowed. “No, no problem.� she lied and watched as he happily bowed out before she stepped into her apartment and closed the door behind her.

Sighing she leaned against the closed door and ran a hand over her face. “I’m so screwed!�

Title: Dress up
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #7 Dreams
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 3/? of the ‘No more sweets’ series.
warnings: none

Penelope sighed as she examined herself in the mirror. Derek wanted to take her out to meet his family in only three days and her diet was going… well, anything but well. She hadn’t even lost four pounds. It was frustrating.

Why on earth did Derek have to ask her anyways?! It wasn’t like he didn’t know whom to take with him to something like his sister’s wedding. Right, he’d said he wanted to take someone with him who was important to him.

And I am important to him.

As much as she’d always wanted him to say that, it had only put her under more pressure. Seriously, what would his family think of him if he introduced them to someone like her? She wasn’t like any of the girls Derek usually met. She was so not his type. She wasn’t beautiful or thin or even pretty. Hell, she wasn’t even African-American!

Her eyes fell upon the dress on her bed, a size fourteen, and she felt tears springing to her eyes. There was no way on Earth she’d ever get anywhere near the sizes of the girls Derek usually met. Why did he want to take her of all girls with him? Did he really think that was what she wanted?!

This is EXACTLY what you want, stupid! Oh, how she wanted to be the special someone in Derek’s life. And not just his very special best friend. There was a bonding between them that went far beyond friendship – maybe even beyond love. But while she was spending entire days dreaming about Derek and wishing that some day there would be more between them than friendship, she knew that she just wasn’t the type of girl a man like Derek would dream about.

She just wasn’t meant to be happy, and least of all with him. She’d accepted that a long time ago. But why did he always have to evoke this little piece of hope in her?! And why did it have to be a wedding? The worst thing about it was the throwing of the bridal bouquet.

Seriously, what was that good for anyways? Apart from reminding her that she’d never be a bride. Even if she was lucky enough to find a guy who actually wanted her – which was very unlikely – she wouldn’t marry him. There was only one man on earth who she’d give her word.

A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts and Penelope quickly wiped off her face. When she answered the door, she was surprised to see a delivery man with a pretty huge parcel standing in front of her. She hadn’t ordered anything.

“Delivery for Miss Penelope Garcia.� he said and held the parcel out to her.

“I… I didn’t order anything,� she replied, confused and refusing to accept the delivery.

“As far as I know, someone sent it to your address.� The man shrugged. “I’m just fulfilling orders. Would you sign here?�

Somebody sent her something? Who? And what’s more, what?

Absentmindedly, Penelope took the chart from the man and signed at the bottom right. Still wondering who on earth might send her anything, she took the parcel to her bedroom, where she placed it on the bed to open it.

She almost felt like when she’d been younger and they’d opened presents on Christmas. A strange anticipation made her heart beat faster as she tore the packing apart to reveal whatever was inside.

Gasping slightly, Penelope let the contents drop onto her bed. It was a dress. A beautiful, purple skirt and a corsage in the same color – and it so was her color. It must have been Derek who had sent this dress. But why?

As if he could read her thoughts, Penelope’s phone rang showing Derek’s ID.

“Do you like it?� he asked immediately after she’d picked up. She could hear the smirk on his face.

“Derek, what…�

“You were complaining to JJ today that you had nothing to wear for the wedding,� he explained. “And I thought I might try and solve your little problem.�

“Derek, you shouldn’t have…�

“So, you don’t like it?� he guessed, sounding disappointed and a bit guilty.

“No, no, I do,� Penelope quickly assured him. “It’s… it’s great.� Taking a look at the tag Penelope realized that he had even guessed her size right. She just wasn’t sure whether this was a good sign.

“But?� Derek pushed her.

She sighed. “You just shouldn’t have done that.�

“Try it on!� he encouraged her, sounding somehow excited now.

“I don’t know…� Penelope mumbled.

“But I do.� he put her off. “I’ll give you ten minutes.�

She frowned at her phone before asking, “For what?�

“To put it on.� She could now hear the grin that was probably all over his face. “Then I’ll be there to see whether I made a good choice.�

“Derek…� she tried to protest once more.

“Ten minutes, Baby Girl,� he replied and hung up.

Penelope sighed again, got up and did as she was told. Five minutes later, she examined herself in the mirror again. This dress was something she’d never in a million years dared to buy. Low cut and very figure-hugging, she’d never thought she could wear something like that. But she had to admit that it indeed suited her. More than that. She actually looked really great – really… sexy.

Of course, if she’d had two or three sizes less, she’d look even better. Penelope sighed. Yeah, the dress looked good. But she was anything but sexy – at least what society thought of as sexy. She just had too damn much on her hips, not to mention the rest of her body. And she definitely shouldn’t think of herself as sexy. Derek wouldn’t think of her that way.

There was just no way in the world that she and Derek would ever be more than best friends. It was more than she could ask for, after all. But she had to remind herself of that fact each and every day so that she didn’t read too much in his behavior, his looks or his flirting.

And she needed to remind herself of that again when she opened the door and he was handing her flowers and a box of her favorite chocolate before examining her in the dress he’d chosen and plastering her with compliments. Why did this man have to be so damn perfect?!

Title: Hunch
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #13 Shut up!!!
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 4/? of the ‘No more sweets’ series. Derek starts to suspect that there’s something wrong with Penelope. But he can’t quite put his finger on it.
warnings: none

When Penelope stepped into her office, she frowned. Something was lying on her chair.

Carefully, she stepped closer. Maybe she should call security, since someone had obviously broken into her office. Only Derek knew where she kept her extra keys – and he’d been on a case for three days.

She sighed as she identified the thing on the chair as a box of her favorite chocolate. It must have been Derek. He probably sent someone up here to place the box on her chair for him. Why did he always have to do that? She’d just gotten rid of the other box he’d brought to her place the day when he came over to see her in the new dress.

God, and how this dress had fit her! With a contented smile, Penelope remembered all the flattering things Derek had said to her that day, then booted up her computers. She sighed again as reality hit her. If only he meant all those wonderful things he said to her. If only he meant that she was the most beautiful, sexiest woman in the world to him.

Yeah, fat chance of that – in the truest sense of the word. Maybe if she lost some more weight, if she managed to lose another five pounds. Would he even notice? Probably not; he didn’t look at her that way. He didn’t care one bit about her body.

Sighing, she put the box of chocolate into one of her desk drawers. She’d managed to resist eating one piece of the other box. She’d given it to Eddie, the guard at the entrance of the FBI building. She would give this one to Fred, his partner, so he could give it to his fiancée. If the box was lying around here all day, she couldn’t guarantee anything, so she had to put it out of sight.

It felt good to resist the urge to rip the box open and enjoy the sweet taste of the chocolate. It felt just as good to resist the urge to eat every day. At first, it had been hard. Penelope hadn’t known how to handle the hunger, so strong that it was almost painful. After awhile, her body apparently had forgotten about it. She didn’t feel hungry anymore.

The problem was, she hadn’t lost as much weight as she’d thought she would. Her body seemed to slowly reduce it’s functions. She felt dizzy, and even Hotch had noticed that she was looking pale.

The incoming call interrupted her thoughts, and Penelope put on the best smile she could manage before she pressed the key to answer the call.
Derek’s grinning face appeared on the screen. “Hey, girl.�

“Hey, yourself,� Penelope smiled at him. “How’s it going?�

Instead of answering, Derek leaned a bit closer to the screen and examined Penelope’s pale face and her dark eyes. “Are you alright?� he asked. “You look exhausted.�

“I’m fine,� she put him off, “now tell me about the unsub. Did you catch him?�

“Baby Girl, have you slept at all lately?� Derek insisted.

Penelope rolled her eyes before answering. “Derek, I’m fine.�

“You look like you’ve lost some weight lately,� he stated.

Penelope felt flattered for a moment. She’d never thought he would notice, considering she’d lost only a few pounds. Then she sighed when she heard Derek ask, “Have you had a lack of appetite? Maybe you should go see a doctor.�

“Derek, shut up! I’m fine, okay?!� she told him a little more harshly than she’d intended to.

“Whoa, I was just worried about you, sweetness,� he raised his hands defensively.

“I know,� Penelope sighed and kneaded the back of her nose, “I’m sorry. I’m fine, Derek, really, just a bit tired.�

“Okay.� He nodded to tell her that he would let it be – for the moment.

“So,� she took a deep breath and smiled at him again in an attempt to bring back the blithe mood that had been between them before, “will you tell me now how the case is going?�

“Well, pretty good since you found out how this sicko chose his victims,� Derek grinned at her. “Rossi and Hotch are questioning him at the moment. It’s only a matter of time until he confesses.�

“What if he doesn’t?� she wanted to know.

Derek just shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. We have so much evidence that every jury in this world would find him guilty. All thanks to the goddess of brilliance and beauty.�

“Oh, it wasn’t all that hard,� Penelope put him off. “I mean, after I had this idea that maybe they all had some skeletons in their closets… Who would have thought that he was killing people because they cheated on their spouses?�

“We’d never have guessed,� Derek affirmed, rewarding her deliberations with the appreciative look she loved receiving so much. “And that definitely earns you some tiramisu, Baby Girl.�

“I’d prefer a movie,� she shrugged. It had no calories, and if she was lucky, she might get some cuddling, too.

“Since you just helped us crack the case, it totally earns you both,� Derek smiled at her.

“So you’re heading back soon?� Penelope changed the topic. She’d convince Derek later that she only wanted a movie and some cuddling.

“Probably tomorrow,� Derek nodded, then grinned mischievously, “and my mom and sisters are still looking forward to meeting you.�

Penelope swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat, and tried to give Derek a smile. “When’s this memorable evening supposed to take place?�

“Nervous?� he winked at her.

“Nah, piece of cake,� Penelope put him off. She was nervous as hell! What would his family think if he introduced them to a woman like her?! Oh, well, it certainly wouldn’t take him long to explain that there was nothing going on between the two of them.

“Do you have something to wear for that occasion, or am I allowed to pick out something for you?� he asked and waggled his eyebrows at her.

“What, do you think my wardrobe is not presentable enough for your family?� she frowned at him.

“No, I just thought it could be fun to pick out something else for you,� he shrugged nonchalantly, then leaned a little closer. “But if you don’t need another dress, how about some lingerie?�

Penelope gasped, then almost shouted, “There is absolutely no way on Earth I’d ever let you pick out lingerie for me, mister!�

“Why not?� he pouted. “You said it yourself, I made a good choice with the dress.�

“Yeah…� she admitted. A dress was one thing…

When Derek noticed their conversation wasn’t flirty anymore, but really making Penelope uncomfortable, he decided to change the subject. “My mom and sisters are staying for another couple of days. Fortunately, they weren’t too mad at me about the case getting in the way.�

“Well, your mom was married to a cop after all,� Penelope reminded him, happy about the change of topic. “She most definitely knows to have a plan B for every night she plans on spending with you.�

“Yeah, you’re right,� he chuckled, “but they won’t let us get away a second time.�

Getting away was exactly what she wanted. Penelope sighed. She’d been glad about the case preventing her from meeting Derek’s family. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to meet them. She’d envied the rest of the team when they actually had the opportunity to do so.

Still, meeting them for dinner in a restaurant seamed very… official. And that was exactly the problem. What if Derek’s family didn’t like her? Penelope sighed again. If only she’d lost some more weight already. Her current appearance just wasn’t presentable, especially not to Derek’s family! He shouldn’t have to introduce such a fat girl to them.

“Hey, girl,� Derek interrupted her thoughts, “what’s on your mind?�

“Nothing,� she lied.

Derek frowned. No quipping comment, no teasing, no ‘I was reconsidering your offer to buy me another dress’? “Baby, are you sure you’re alright?�

Of course, Derek was too caring to simply let it go; and as much as she enjoyed that feature most of the time, sometimes she wished he wasn’t. Penelope rolled her eyes once more. “Would you please just stop already?�

Title: Certitude
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #8 Flying colors
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 5/? of the ‘No more sweets’ series. The date Derek takes his baby girl to doesn’t go quite the way he wanted it to.
warnings: none


“Come on, Baby Girl, you look great!� Derek told her for the hundredth or so time. In fact, she looked amazing, and he had no idea what her problem was.

“Don’t you think it’s too…� She sighed and let her hands drop to her side as she walked out of the bathroom.

“I think it’s perfect,� Derek told her honestly. “You are perfect. My family’s gonna love you.�

“I don’t know,� Penelope mumbled, examining herself in the mirror again. “Maybe I should wear the black dress.� Black makes you look more slender…

“You look perfect,� Derek repeated, and stepped behind her. “This color is my favorite, because it suits you best. You look absolutely great! Now let’s go!�

Penelope protested a little when Derek dragged her towards the door. Still, she knew she had to meet Derek’s family. She couldn’t delay it any longer. Not that she didn’t want to meet them. She just feared they wouldn’t be that glad to meet her.

She had hoped for another case to come in so she had more time. Maybe if she had lost another two or three pounds… Face it, Penelope, it wouldn’t have made a difference!

There were more reasons than just her weight why a man shouldn’t introduce someone like her to his family – least of all, a man like Derek. What was this good for, anyway? She should just tell Derek she didn’t feel well. No, she’d tried that already…

“Come on, beautiful, stop worrying. You’ll pass this with flying colors.� Derek grinned and softly pecked Penelope’s cheek. “Everything’s going to be fine. Now, relax!�

The drive to the restaurant was unusually quiet. Derek could feel Penelope’s tension. At first, he tried to calm her down, tell her his family would love her; but soon he came to understand it was pointless to try and reassure her, so he gave up. Derek could only hope Penelope would relax once she realized his family was nothing to worry about.

When they arrived at the restaurant and Penelope saw three women sitting at a table near the entrance, she froze suddenly in front of the large window. Derek’s sisters were beautiful, and Derek’s mother didn’t look like she’d spent enough time on this planet to raise three children.

All three women were slender, dark haired and neatly dressed – and they were so the opposite of herself. Of course, looking at Derek, she should have known that beforehand.

“Baby?� Derek asked with a mixture of confusion and worry.

“I’m not going in there,� she stated. She didn’t feel well anyway. She’d been dizzy for a couple of days, but today it was worse. It certainly was the agitation about meeting Derek’s family.

Derek frowned at his family. They were chatting and laughing, so it couldn’t be their mood that had scared Penelope.

“Come on, you can’t back out now. They’re looking forward to meeting you,� Derek tried to reason with her.

“But I can’t… I’m not dressed properly, I mean, they’re so… And I am… I should have worn the black dress.�

Derek couldn’t help but chuckle at her reaction. He grabbed Penelope’s shoulders and turned her around so she could see his family and their reflection in the window. “Baby, my family wants to meet YOU, and this IS you. You are colorful, that’s why I love you, and this is who my family should meet.�

Penelope took a deep breath. There was no way she was gonna delay this any longer. What would it matter anyway? No delay in the world would be able to change who she was or what she looked like.

“Besides, this restaurant has the best tiramisu in town, and I made sure they saved one just for you.� Derek smiled as he put his arm around your waist.

There was her next problem. How could she avoid eating anything today, especially if the temptation was tiramisu. The evening wasn’t gonna end well.

When Derek pushed open the door to the restaurant, the three women turned their heads towards them.

“Derek,� his mother beamed when they arrived at the table. She stood up to hug her son, and then held out her hand to Penelope, smiling brightly. “You must be Penelope. I’m glad to finally meet you.�

“Yeah, you’re all my baby brother talks about,� one of the younger women chuckled.

“Sarah!� Derek growled.

Penelope blushed slightly.

Grinning, Derek’s sister put her hand out to Penelope. “Hi, I’m Sarah, the one who’s getting married.�

“Yeah, as if the ring on your finger isn’t obvious enough,� the other woman rolled her eyes. “I’m Desiree, not getting married anytime soon. Nice to meet you.�

Penelope smiled. This was going a lot better than she’d expected. Derek’s family was really nice, and the fact that Derek had been telling them about her… Well, sure he had, since they were going to meet her. He’d told her about his family, too. There was nothing special about it.

“You know, I really envy your dress,� Desiree grinned at Penelope. “It’s so colorful and merry. I wish I had some of your taste.�

Penelope gave her a strange look.

When Desiree realized Penelope felt made fun of, she quickly added, “No, no, seriously! I mean, look at me. My wardrobe is… just boring. Whenever I go shopping, I just don’t have the guts to pick out something so colorful.�

“I think green would suit you, maybe a light blue,� Penelope replied as she examined the other woman. “Something with flowers or butterflies on it.�

“I wouldn’t be able to try them on anyway,� Desiree sighed.

“Maybe you should take Penelope with you when you go shopping next time,� Fran suggested, smiling at the two women.

“That’s a great idea,� Desiree agreed, and then bit her lip and looked at Penelope. “I mean, if you want to.�

“Sure,� Penelope smiled at her. This really was going a lot better than she’d ever expected.

“How long have you two known each other?� Fran wanted to know as they all sat back down at the table.

“Mom!� Derek scolded her. “You promised not to grill us today.�

“I’m just asking a simple question,� Fran answered innocently.

“We’ve been working together for almost five years now,� Penelope replied. “I… can’t tell for sure when we developed our friendship.�

Fran gave his son a knowing look, and then asked him, “Did you meet her family yet?�

Derek sighed and ran a hand over his face. Fran looked puzzled back at Penelope.

She smiled sadly. “My parents died when I was eighteen, and my brothers… well, we haven’t had any contact since then. We never got along well.�

“I’m sorry, hon.� Fran frowned and looked down.

“It’s okay,� Penelope assured her. “You couldn’t have known. Besides, I don’t really miss them. I mean, I miss my parents, but not my brothers. I kind of found a new family with the BAU.�

The waitress interrupted them, asking for their orders. Penelope sighed and then smiled at the waitress. “I think I’m just gonna take a coffee for now.�

“You don’t want to eat anything?� Derek frowned at her.

“Later,� she smiled. “Right now, I really need a coffee.� Maybe this would help with her dizziness. It usually did.

“Are you feeling well, dear?� Fran asked, her voice full of concern.

“Now I know where Derek got his protectiveness from,� Penelope teased. “No need to worry, I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep well.�

“Are you sure?� Derek pressed her. “You look incredibly pale.�

She had to admit that her dizziness had gotten worse in the past few minutes. Hopefully, the coffee would help her. “I’m fine,� she tried to assure them, but now it really was a lie. Her stomach suddenly turned.

“You’re sure? You really don’t look good.� Sarah added.

Now four faces frowned at Penelope in concern, and from the looks she was getting, she could tell that she probably looked even worse than she felt.

“I’m fine,� she mumbled and stood up. “I just need to go to the bathroom.� The second she stood, the dizziness got the better of her, and it almost seemed impossible to stay standing upright. Penelope reached for the back of her chair to steady herself, but missed. The last thing she felt were two strong arms breaking her fall. Then there was only darkness.

From the color of her face, Derek could tell Penelope was about to faint. He rushed forward, knocking his chair over with the movement, and caught her the moment she lost consciousness.

“Baby Girl!� He shook her in an attempt to wake her up, but she remained unresponsive.

Derek’s mother and his sisters had jumped up from their chairs as well, and were now kneeling next to the couple. Fran was on the phone, calling for an ambulance.

“Baby Girl, come on!� he begged her, but he still got no response. His worry grew. Something was really wrong with her.

Title: Epiphany
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #6 Huh?; Are you kidding?
Rating: T, just to be sure
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 6/? of the ‘No more sweets’ series.
warnings: none


Derek was pacing the waiting room while Fran unsuccessfully tried to calm him down. “Almost an hour, Mom,� he mumbled, “and we still haven’t heard anything.�

“I know,� Fran sighed. It really was frustrating, but Derek pacing the room the whole time was driving her crazy.

“Penelope Garcia?� an older man asked, and looked at Derek and his mother.

“That’s me,� Derek quickly replied, and stepped closer.

The doctor frowned. “Are you family?�

“She doesn’t have any family,� Derek replied. “I’m… I think I’m closest to a family you can get.�

The frown on the man’s forehead became deeper as he considered his options. Then he mumbled, “Follow me, please.�

“Doctor, what’s wrong with Penelope?� Derek demanded to know as he followed the man down the corridor.

He stopped in front of a door, turned around, and sighed. “Apparently, Miss Garcia hasn’t eaten properly in several days. She’s suffering from a lack of energy supply. Her low blood sugar level certainly caused the collapse.�

“What does that mean, she hasn’t eaten properly?� Derek frowned at the older man. “You mean like skipping lunch or something?�

“I rather think she hasn’t eaten anything lately,� the doctor replied.

Derek’s eyes widened. “Why would she do that?�

“I hoped you could help us with that,� the man shrugged. “She’s not talking to us. Maybe she’ll talk to you. If she doesn’t start eating again, she’ll eventually die.�

Derek nodded. He hesitated for a moment before he pushed the door open and stepped into the small hospital room.

Penelope was sitting upright on the hospital bed, staring at her hands that were entwined in her lap. She didn’t look up when Derek stepped closer.

Carefully, he sat down on the side of her bed, bracing both arms on either side of her hips. “Baby?�

“I’m sorry,� Penelope whispered. “I didn’t mean to spoil this evening. I know it was important to you.�

“You are important to me, Baby Girl,� he told her. “That’s why I’m worried about you. The doctor told me you collapsed because your blood sugar level was too low.�

She didn’t say anything in return.

“Baby, when was the last time you ate anything?�

She smiled slightly as she remembered. “The Tiramisu.�

“On your birthday?!� Derek burst out. “That was almost two weeks ago.�

Again, she refused to say anything, but Derek could see her lower lip tremble. Something was terribly wrong, and he cursed himself for not having noticed.

Gently, he put a finger under her chin and made her look at him. “Sweetness, why did you stop eating?�

She kept refusing to talk to him, and tried to avoid his eyes.

“Talk to me, girl!� Derek demanded a little forcefully.

“I… wanted to be beautiful,� she whispered.

Derek frowned at her. “You don’t think you are?� As far as he could remember, that had never been a problem – or she’d hidden it very well. Maybe he just hadn’t noticed.

“Look at me,� she mumbled, pointing at her figure on the bed.
´
“You haven’t always thought that way, have you? Something happened, something that made you think you’re not beautiful, am I right?� he softly asked. He cupped her cheek with one hand to make her look at him again. “Whatever it was, there’s something I want you to know. You don’t need to worry about your looks, because to me, you are beautiful.�

Penelope just snorted.

Frowning, Derek stated, “You think I’m lying.�

She bit her lip, but again refused to say anything.

Derek sighed. “Baby, why don’t you tell me what happened?�

She didn’t want to tell him. She just wanted to forget about those stupid girls and what they’d said about her. She also knew Derek wouldn’t just let this go. She couldn’t hold back a sob, and when Derek leaned forward to catch her in his arms, she burst into tears.

Derek had never felt so lost than in that moment. He wanted to tell Penelope that it was going to be all right, but he didn’t even know what it was. Why wouldn’t she talk to him? Why hadn’t he noticed something was wrong? He should have been able to help her.

“Come on, Sweetness. Talk to me, please,� he whispered into her ear.

Sniffling, Penelope started to tell him about the diet she’d put herself on. Then she talked about the beautiful but mean girls, and how she had wanted to be beautiful to leave a good impression on his family.

“Did you really believe those idiots?� Derek carefully asked. “Since when do you care so much about what other people say?�

“I don’t, it’s just…� Penelope started, and then looked down again. She obviously felt ashamed talking about it.

“You don’t believe that I think you’re beautiful.� From the look on her face, he could tell he was approaching the heart of the matter. “You thought my family wouldn’t like you, because they wouldn’t think you’re beautiful. Or do you think I don’t like you?�

“Derek, please, stop profiling me!� she snorted.

“Sorry, Sweetness, but I need to do that,� he told her. “I can’t let you kill yourself because of something some stupid girls said, or because of something they made you believe. You’re wrong, Baby Girl, about everything.�

She raised her eyes at him, not sure she entirely understood what he was trying to tell her.

“Why do you think I asked you to go with me to my sister’s wedding?� he smiled at her. “Why do you think I wanted you to meet my family beforehand?�

“I… I don’t know,� she mumbled.

“Because I love you, silly girl.� Derek leaned his forehead against hers and let his hand rest on her neck. “Why else would I want you to meet my family?�

“But…� Penelope started, looking up into his eyes, searching for an answer.

“No buts, Penelope.� Derek locked eyes with her, hoping she could see he was serious. “I love you, and I wanted to officially introduce you to my family. I wanted the wedding to be our first date, and I wanted to tell you tonight.�

He leaned closer, and Penelope drew in a sharp breath. Smiling, Derek whispered, “And I’m gonna kiss you now, because I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time already.�

“Oh,� Penelope panted and held her breath. Derek was so close, she could feel the heat radiating from his body, and she could smell the scent of him. God, he smelled so good, and he was so close. Penelope was sure she was about to faint.

Their lips met, carefully, softly, and it felt like an electric shock running through her whole body. She willingly kissed him back, and Derek moaned as he pulled her closer. The kiss soon became more passionate.

When they had to break the kiss for air, Derek once again leaned his forehead against hers as they both tried to calm their breathing.

“Wow,� Penelope panted.

“Yeah,� he agreed. “That was the best first kiss I ever shared with anyone.�

“Really?� she giggled. “Out of your mouth, that’s a real compliment, I guess.�

“Hey, hey. Behave, girl!� he scolded. Then he became serious again. “I love you, Penelope, just the way you are. I don’t want you to change, because this is who I met, and this is who I fell in love with. To me, you’re perfect.�

“Thank you,� she sniffled.

“Besides, I would never want you to stop eating Tiramisu, because it’s the most exciting sight I’ve ever seen.� He waggled his eyebrows at her. “Not to mention these sounds you were making.�

Penelope giggled.

“Now, come on, let me take you home, where I’ll deliver a nice dinner. Don’t even think about arguing with me! There’s some Tiramisu in my fridge waiting for you.� Derek jumped up from the bed and pulled his girl with him.

“Are you going to feed me again?� she asked playfully.

“There’s nothing in the world that could stop me from doing so,� he replied in a low voice, and leaned down to capture her lips with his once more.

“Hmm… I have a feeling my mouth will be busy with a lot of other things than eating tonight,� she giggled.

Derek growled and leaned down to nibble her neck.

“You’re my favorite sweet treat anyway,� she whispered as her eyes fluttered shut, and she gave in to the sensations Derek’s touch made her feel.

“No way, Goddess, sorry,� Derek mumbled against her skin. “Tonight, I’m gonna make you eat first. I don’t want you to end up in the hospital again.�

Much to Penelope’s discomfort, he stopped the things his mouth had been doing and pulled her towards the door.

“Too bad,� Penelope sighed, and followed him out of the room.

They met Fran and Derek’s sisters in the hallway.

“You’ve been released?� Fran asked, the worry obvious in her voice. “Are you okay?�

Penelope swallowed. How was she supposed to tell Derek’s family what had really happened.

“Yeah,� Derek answered for her, and protectively put his arm around her waist. “She just worked too much and slept too little. I’m gonna take her home and make sure she gets some rest.�

“That sounds like a good idea,� Fran agreed. It didn’t escape her notice that Derek had finally dared to make a move on her. She smiled brightly at the two of them. “We can repeat our dinner when you’re better.�

“I’m… I’m sorry I spoiled this evening,� Penelope mumbled.

“Nonsense. You care about yourself now and get some rest!� Fran told her in a motherly tone, and then hugged Penelope goodbye. “I’ll come by tomorrow and get the two of you something nice for lunch. Derek’s not the best cook, you know.�

Derek rolled his eyes. “Mom!�

Title: Guilt
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #12 Domo…; Thanks
Rating: T, because I’m not sure
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 7/? of the ‘No more sweets’-series.
warnings: none


Penelope picked at her dinner and sighed. She knew it was crazy, but she still felt guilty when she ate anything. She knew she needed to eat to stay healthy, but still… For almost two weeks she had managed to defeat herself. Now, she was supposed to forget about that and behave like her normal self again. The problem was, she really wasn’t sure she could go back there just like that.

Did that mean she needed therapy? She’d read so much about anorexia over the years, and she’d always been sure she wasn’t even near being endangered. She’d always loved eating, and she’d been happy with herself just the way she was.

Or maybe she hadn’t. Maybe the whole thing wasn’t about what those girls had said, but about what she hadn’t admitted to herself for all those years. Maybe she hadn’t been happy. Maybe she had been lying to herself the whole time.

“Hey, girl,� Derek said, interrupting her thoughts. “What’s on that pretty mind of yours?�

She looked up at him and tried to give him the most honest smile she could manage. “Nothing of any importance.�

“I doubt that.� Derek frowned at her.

Penelope just gave him a questioning look in return.

Pointing his fork towards her plate, Derek explained, “You have hardly eaten anything.�

Sighing again, she replied, “I know, and it’s not that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done for me. It’s just… I don’t know.�

“So…� Derek wasn’t sure how he should start this conversation, but he knew he had to make Penelope talk about it. “Do you… really want to lose weight because you don’t feel comfortable, or do you just want to do it for… well, someone else?�

“I’m not sure,� Penelope mumbled. “I… I always thought I felt good, despite the fact that I was a little chubby. But apparently, I don’t feel all that good.�

Derek put his fork aside and waited for Penelope to look at him. “Did you really just start this whole diet because of what those girls said? Or do you think you’re not beautiful?�

“I honestly don’t know,� Penelope replied quietly, looking down. “I mean, I’ve never really been slender, and I never had a problem with that. It wasn’t that I was teased at school or anything. I just always had some extra pounds, but they didn’t bother me at all.�

“What changed?� he pressed her.

“I…� Penelope sighed. She absolutely didn’t want to talk to him about that, but she knew he wouldn’t let this go. “I met you,� she finally mumbled. “From the second I saw you, I was at your feet – like every other woman. Then I realized how… sweet you are. You’re one of the most kind-hearted people I’ve ever met. I loved flirting with you. It felt great that we got along so well, and… well, sometimes, quite often, actually, I liked pretending that everything you said to me when we flirted was true.

“But I knew it was just a dream. I mean, I saw the women you were attracted to – and I knew I was far from playing in your league. I was okay with us just being friends. Then the whole thing with Battle happened, and I… I realized that it would always be a dream. That a man like you and a girl like me just weren’t gonna happen.�

Derek reached over the table to take her hand in his. “I’m sorry,� he whispered.

That wasn’t exactly the reaction Penelope had expected. “For… for what?� she stuttered.

Squeezing her hand slightly, Derek replied, “For making you feel that way. For not telling you how I really felt when I should have. When that guy asked you out, I was jealous. That was why I didn’t want you to go out with him. If I’d just told you the truth, you’d never… Well, all that would never have happened.�

“No, Derek, don’t go there again,� Penelope scolded him. “We had this discussion before. That wasn’t your fault.�

“Of course, it was,� Derek objected. “If I’d been honest with you, you’d never have started to doubt yourself. I just… well, to be honest, I wasn’t so sure about your feelings for me.�

Penelope stared at him as if he was from a different planet. “You’re kidding me, right?�

Derek snorted slightly. “You think just because I look good, I don’t know anything about insecurities?�

“You don’t only look good, you’re the hottest man on this planet,� Penelope burst out. “You could have any woman you want.�

Derek just chuckled. “Even Superman was insecure about Lois Lane, right?�

“Wow, now you’re being cocky, comparing yourself with Superman,� Penelope teased.

“I’m serious, Baby Girl,� Derek told her. “I love you, just the way you are. I never thought I could feel that way for anyone, but when I first met you, I knew there was something special between us. I couldn’t name it then, or maybe I didn’t want to. I liked being single, flirting, just having fun. I didn’t want something serious. That was why I never approached you. It wasn’t that I didn’t want you. I just knew that when I crossed that line, it would be forever.

“Then Sarah told me she was gonna get married, and she told me to bring someone with me to her wedding. For me, there was only one woman I wanted to ask. But I also knew that my family would grill me about you. So I tried to come up with excuses why we were only friends, but I couldn’t. That was when I realized that there simply are no excuses. That I want you, forever. I was just too afraid to make a move on you.�

“I… I never thought you would feel that way.� Penelope sniffled and wiped her eyes.

Derek moved his chair closer to her and took her hand in his once again. “I do,� he assured her. “I love you, and I want you, and to me, you’re absolutely perfect. I wouldn’t want you to change anything about you.

“And right now…� He took her fork, shoved some of the tiramisu onto it, and held it out for her. “I want you to eat. And I want you to enjoy it, just like you used to enjoy tiramisu.�

Smiling, Penelope ate the dessert and closed her eyes happily as the sweet, marzipan-like taste filled her mouth. She moaned contentedly.

God, this woman was his doom! Derek swallowed hard at the sounds she was making. It made him want to ravish her right then and there – but he had sworn to himself that he would take things slow this time.

“See, that’s what I mean.� Derek grinned as he held out another bite for her.

Willingly, Penelope took the second bite from him, and the third. It didn’t take long before she’d emptied her plate.

“Good girl,� Derek teased, leaning closer. “That means you deserve a reward.� He crossed the short distance between them to give her a sweet, deep, and lingering kiss.

“Thank you,� she whispered as they pulled apart.

“Well, it wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy this kiss.� He winked at her.

“Not for the kiss,� Penelope replied. “Even though I absolutely enjoyed it. Thank you for making me enjoy eating again.�

Smiling seductively, Derek leaned closer and told her in a low voice, “When I’m done showing you what you can do with certain foods, you’ll never stop enjoying eating again. Trust me.�

Penelope grinned at him, but she couldn’t stop the shiver that rushed through her body.

Title: Doubts
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #19 No, it can’t be…
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 8/? of the ‘No more sweets’-series. Penelope still can’t trust Derek’s feelings.
warnings: none


She sighed as she examined herself in the mirror. She so wasn’t his type. She knew it, he knew it; everyone else could see it. As a matter of fact, she wasn’t anyone’s type. At least she hadn’t been so far. Not for a lasting relationship, anyway.

It had been the fact that she had stopped eating. He felt guilty; he’d said it himself. That was why he was with her. That was why he had said all those things about loving her. He didn’t love her. Not this way. No one did.

Penelope couldn’t stop the tears that started running down her cheeks. How could anyone be interested in her? How could a man like Derek be interested in her??? It couldn’t be true. She knew it. He was with her out of pity, and she didn’t want that.

But would he really do that to her? Would he just pretend to love her so that she felt better? Yeah, he would, because he loved her – as a friend. There was nothing more… There couldn’t be. He didn’t feel this way for her. He hadn’t so far.

Her head was spinning as her mind tried to process what had happened that day. She had stopped eating because she wanted to be more attractive to make Derek finally take notice of her. Had it really been unnecessary?

Well, it had at least been useless, that much she could tell from the reflection in Derek’s bathroom mirror staring back at her. She hadn’t lost a single ounce, and she certainly hadn’t become any more attractive.

Face it, Penelope, you’ll never be like them! You’ll never be good enough.

Yeah, she could never be good enough for Derek. She certainly didn’t want him to ruin his life just because he was worried about her. He could do so much better than her. She needed to end this; sooner, rather than later.

“Hey, beautiful, you okay in there?� she heard Derek’s voice call through the door.

These words made her realize she couldn’t just end this. She never wanted him to stop calling her nicknames, never wanted him to stop pretending that he loved her the way she wanted him to love her.

Penelope couldn’t repress a sob.

Carefully, Derek opened the door and stuck his head in. “Hey, what’s wrong?� he asked, appalled.

She couldn’t answer. How was she supposed to tell him what she thought about his intentions?! How was she supposed to tell him that she doubted him and his feelings?!

Derek stepped closer and caught her in his arms. She was standing in front of his mirror, and he didn’t need to be a profiler to figure out what she’d been thinking about.

“You know, I wouldn’t call you beautiful if I didn’t think the name suited you,� he softly told her, kissing the top of her head.

Penelope just sniffled in his arms and snuggled up closer against him. She never wanted him to let go of her again.

“You think I just made a move on you because you stopped eating,� he guessed. When he felt her body tense in his embrace, he knew he was right. “You know that I love you, but you don’t think I can love you in a romantic way.�

“I… hate… profilers,� she sobbed against his chest. God, she felt so stupid, ashamed – and worried. How would he react to that? What if she was right? What if she wasn’t, and he was mad at her now?

Derek put his hand under her chin to lift her head and make her look at him. “I asked you to go with me to my sister’s wedding before I even knew about you not eating, right?�

She nodded.

“And I asked you to meet my family before I found out,� he added.

“Yeah,� she just whispered, not sure what he wanted her to say to that.

“Why would I have done that, if all this was merely out of pity?� he softly asked.

“I… don’t know,� she sniffled.

“I love you, babycakes, and I’m not with you out of pity or guilt or anything. I’m with you because I want to be with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, because I can’t even imagine a single day without you anymore,� he told her in a soft, but intent voice.
Penelope looked down and bit her lip.

But Derek made her look up at him again. “I’m not mad at you for feeling this way, sweetness. I understand. I just want to try and assure you your worries are needless.� He gently brushed his thumb over her cheek, and then leaned down to capture her lips with his.

Penelope sighed happily and melted into his embrace. This so was the way to assure her.

“You taste sweeter than everything I’ve ever tried, you know that?� Derek whispered as they broke the kiss.

“That’s the cherry lipstick,� she giggled.

Derek leaned down and kissed her again. “Nope,� he disagreed, grinning. “Definitely you and not lipstick.�

“Are you sure?� she teased, flirting. “You don’t need to try again?�

“No, I don’t need to,� he chuckled, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.� He leaned down once more for another breathtaking kiss.

“I love you, Baby Girl.� He let his finger stroke over her cheek, her jawline, and her neck, making her shiver. “And I absolutely want you. I love to kiss you, I love to touch you. There’s nothing about you I don’t love – at least I haven’t found anything so far. I will never stop loving you, ever. I know feelings can change, but I also know my feelings for you won’t.�

“I’m sorry,� Penelope whispered. “I didn’t mean to… doubt you or your feelings. It’s just…�

“You can’t believe I’m really serious,� Derek finished the sentence for her. He couldn’t even blame her for feeling that way.

“This is just… too good to be true.� She leaned her head back against his chest, breathing in the scent of him.

Smiling, Derek wrapped both his arms tightly around her. “Well, I guess I’ll have to spend the rest of my life showing you that this is real then.�

“I hope that’s gonna be a long time,� Penelope mumbled, closing her eyes happily.

Derek smiled. “Yeah, me, too. Now come on, I have some homemade chocolate cookies from my mom you just have to try.�

“Hot Stuff, if you keep fatting me up like this, I’m not gonna fit into the dress you bought me for the wedding.� Penelope giggled.

“Trust me, I know some very nice ways to use up the excessive calories.� He waggled his eyebrows at her.

Penelope shivered at his words. God, how long did he plan on doing this? He was driving her crazy, and he did that on purpose. What did he want her to do? Ravish him?

Oh, if only she dared…

Title: Uncertainties
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #9 Cotton
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 9/? of the “No more sweets�-series.
warnings: none


“You know, I can go and sleep on the couch,� Derek assured her as he sat on the bedside. “It’s not a problem, really.�

“I know,� Penelope softly replied, smiling at him. “But I… I don’t want you to go. I mean, I… as I said, I like to be near you.�

“Okay.� Smiling widely, he crawled under the blanket next to her and pulled her into his arms. “And as I said, nothing has to happen tonight.�

Penelope nodded against his chest and deeply inhaled his scent. Of course he wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want. He was too much of a gentleman. The problem was, she honestly didn’t know what she wanted – or maybe she just wasn’t sure what she didn’t want… yet.

Her head was spinning again. She was closer to the man of her dreams than ever before. Not that he hadn’t held her before, but usually, he’d been dressed in more than just his boxers. She could feel his soft skin against hers, the warmth radiating from his body…

Maybe she shouldn’t have agreed to share the bed. Agreed? You suggested this, silly! And be honest, would you really want to abandon this?

She sighed. God, no, she sure as hell wouldn’t want things to be any different. This was heaven. Pure and utter heaven.

“Are you okay, baby?� Derek mumbled against her hair. Her body was still tense in his embrace, and she seemed unable to relax. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea. He should have just slept on the couch. He shouldn’t have agreed to sharing the bed.

Agreed, huh? Do you really think you left her a choice? Did you even want to? He wouldn’t want to change anything at the moment. Her soft skin against his chest.

“Yeah,� she assured him, taking a deep breath. “I’m fine.�

“You’re sure?� he pressed her. She really didn’t seem to feel all that comfortable. “You know, I can still sleep on the couch.�

“No,� she quickly replied, raising her head to look at him so that he could see she was serious. “I don’t want you to go. It’s just… I’m… not really used to this, I guess. Us, I mean. You being so close to me. It’s making me… dizzy, sort of.�

“Dizzy?� He grinned at her.

“Well, I… I can’t find a better word, I’m sorry,� She slapped his chest, before snuggling up against him once more.

Softly caressing her back with his fingertips, Derek asked, “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?�

“I’m feeling good, really,� Penelope assured him. “This is just… unfamiliar.�

“Yeah, I know what you mean.� Derek chuckled slightly.

Penelope’s head shot up, and she stared at him in disbelief.

“Well, I…� Derek stuttered. This wasn’t exactly something he had ever wanted to address. “To be quiet honest, I was mostly kicked out before it got this far… You know.�

“Or you kicked them out, huh?� Penelope bit her lip. The words had escaped her mouth before she’d been able to stop them.

But Derek chuckled. “No, I never took a girl to my place.�

Penelope just frowned at him.

“You know, I just… I don’t know. I didn’t want them to come to my house. This is… private,� he mumbled.

“But… you… You don’t mind me being here?� she asked carefully.

Smiling, Derek caressed her cheek with his finger. “No, absolutely not.�

“Wow,� was all she managed to say. Suddenly, certainly for the first time in her whole life, she felt special. She was special to him.

“With you, everything is different,� Derek added in a low voice. “You turned my whole world upside down, you know. In the best of all ways.�

Blinking back the tears that started forming in her eyes, Penelope whispered, “Thank you,� and leaned forward to reward him with a soft kiss.

When she saw the questioning look on his face, she smiled at him. “For making me feel special.�

“You are special,� he told her with all honesty. “I thought you knew that. There’s only one Penelope Garcia in this world – and I’m damn lucky she chose me above everyone else.�

“Well, that wasn’t such a hard decision, considering the fact that there’s only one Derek Morgan in this world.� She giggled softly.

“You think?� He frowned at her. “I’m not so sure about that. I mean, there are a lot of guys like me walking around on this planet.�

“That is so not true,� she objected. “Trust me, there might be gazillions of men in this universe, but none of them are as sweet as you, as tough as you, as caring as you, or anywhere near as hot as you.�

“Why, thank you.� Derek grinned at her. “That makes me feel special.�

“Does that mean if we ever have children, they’re gonna be double-special, or special-special?� Penelope teased. Then she looked down and bit her lip again. They were far from talking about children. And even though she’d meant it as a joke, considering the current development of their relationship, this was a serious matter to address.

Gently putting a finger under her chin, Derek made her look up at him again. “I’d say our future children will be uber-special.�

“Yeah, that’s a good word,� she whispered, smiling shyly. She wasn’t sure what she should have said in return. What did his reply mean? Was he telling her that he really wanted to have children one day? Or had he just said that to make her feel less uncomfortable for addressing the matter?

Sensing her discomfort and having a slight idea where it might come from, Derek grinned at her, saying, “You know, it’s a good thing we seem to think the same about the question of whether we want to have children someday or not, because that’s certainly gonna be the first thing my mom will ask us tomorrow.�

Penelope swallowed hard. As much as she’d liked Fran after their first meeting, she honestly wasn’t fond of being grilled by Derek’s mother. What was she going to ask her, anyway? About her past in general? About former boyfriends? God, hopefully not about that!

“Hey, don’t worry,� Derek told her, when he saw the almost frightened expression on her face. “I told her not to ask anything too intimate, or anything embarrassing, or anything anywhere near insulting. She’s just gonna ask the usual stuff.�

“The… usual stuff,� Penelope repeated.

“Yeah, you know, if you like to go to the theatre, what your favorite movie is … stuff like that.� Derek shrugged, hoping it would convince her that there was nothing she needed to be afraid of. “Or what your favorite sweet is.�

“You,� she replied, grinning at him.

“Oh, really? Am I?� he teased, nudging her nose. “I thought it was tiramisu.�

“Well,� Penelope replied, giggling softly. “It’s true, I love tiramisu, but you taste a lot better. And you smell better, too. So if I had to choose between kissing you and eating tiramisu, I’d totally go with the first one.�

Derek chuckled. “Okay, then when my mom asks you about your favorite sweet, maybe you should tell her your second favorite one.�

Giggling slightly, Penelope laid her head onto his chest again and sighed.

“Don’t worry, sweetness. You’ll be fine,� Derek assured her. “My mom already loves you, so there’s nothing you have to worry about.�

“But what if she gets to know me better and then realizes that she doesn’t like me anymore?�

Penelope sighed. She knew how important this was for Derek. What if she ruined it again?

“There is absolutely no reason for my mom not to love you, understood?� Derek told her firmly.

“But…�

“No but,� Derek quickly interrupted her. “There is no reason for anyone not to love you.�

“Okay,� she mumbled.

“No, no, no,� Derek scolded her. “Look at me, Baby Girl!�

Unwillingly, Penelope raised her head to look at him, but she avoided his eyes.

Gently stroking her cheek, Derek repeated, “There is no reason not to love you.�

She just nodded, not sure what he expected her to answer.

“I want you to say it,� he told her seriously.

Penelope swallowed, and then she mumbled, “There… There is no reason not to love me.�

“That’s my girl.� Derek smiled and leaned in to kiss her lips.

Smiling, Penelope snuggled up against him again and closed her eyes. At least she had found a way to make him drop the matter.

“Now we can start working on making you believe those words,� Derek added.

Penelope sighed. She should have known better than to expect him to just let it go.

Title: Assurance
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #28 What’s happening?
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 10/? of the ‘No more sweets’-series. Fran takes care of things.
warnings: none


“Mom, really, you don’t have to…� Derek tried again. When she’d told him she wanted to come over and cook for them, he hadn’t thought it would be the next day for lunch and dinner.

At least, Fran and his sisters hadn’t grilled him and his Baby Girl too much – until now. The evening wasn’t over yet, and Des and Sarah had planned on watching a movie with them. They sure as hell would find a way to drop the one or other question during the movie. Why did sisters have to be so curious, anyway?

“Derek, would you stop arguing with me and just set the table, please?� Fran interrupted him in a motherly tone. “When you’re done, you can get the girls. Dinner is ready.�

“Okay, okay,� Derek sighed. “You know, I hate it when you treat me like I’m still a ten-year-old boy.�

“I know,� Fran softly said, smiling at him.

Derek mumbled something not understandable, before disappearing in the living room.

“So, how long have you and my baby brother been an item?� he heard Sarah ask.

Derek’s sisters moved closer to Penelope, who blushed a deep shade of red. How was she supposed to explain the situation to them? “Well… I… you know… we’re not exactly… an item.�

Des and Sarah exchanged questioning looks.

“Well, I mean… it’s not like we…� Great, Penelope, keep making a fool of yourself! “I’m just saying… I don’t know if you could call us…�

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that?� Derek softly interrupted her as he entered the room. Standing behind her, he leaned down and softly moved her head so that she looked at him. “We totally, absolutely are an item.� As if to prove his words, he leaned farther down and captured her lips with his.
Des and Sarah giggled softly.

Penelope blushed, but smiled up at him. She couldn’t believe he didn’t mind kissing her right in front of his sisters. To be quite honest, she still couldn’t believe he was kissing her at all.

“And the rest is none of your business, so leave it alone,� Derek told his pouting sisters. “Now come on, dinner is ready!�

“So, you met at work, right?� Sarah started the questioning again shortly after they had started eating.

“I had just been recruited by the FBI when we first met,� Penelope told her.

“And was it love at first sight?� she pressed her.

Penelope blushed, but before she lost her bearings, Derek jumped in. “It definitely was, and our love grew over the past years. And yes, I should have made a move on Penelope a long time ago, I know that. And no, I don’t need your dating advice, nor do I want it.�

Des and Sarah just giggled – once again, making Derek roll his eyes.

“When did you decide to make a move on her?� Des turned to her brother.

“You’re much worse than mom,� Derek grumbled, instead of answering the question.

Penelope smiled coyly, thankful for Derek avoiding the question. What was he supposed to tell them? That he’d made a move on her after he’d found out that she had stopped eating to look more attractive for him? That didn’t sound like a love story anyone wanted to hear.

“Thank you,� Fran said, raising an eyebrow. “I take that as a compliment.�

“You didn’t answer my question,� Des reminded her brother.

Penelope took a deep breath. Her first intention was to run away from this situation to avoid being embarrassed, but she reconsidered.

“Okay,� Derek said with a sigh. “I decided to make a move on Penelope when Sarah asked me to bring someone to her wedding. Why? Because I knew I wanted to bring someone who was special to me. And the longer I thought about it, the more I realized how special Penelope really is to me. I just… wanted to bring her to your wedding as my girlfriend. That’s why.�

“Aw,� Sarah said a little theatrically. “This is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard you say about anyone.�

“So, are you thinking of getting married, too?� Des asked curiously.

Derek turned to Penelope to look into her eyes. “Yes, we are.� Taking her hand in his, he added, “And before you ask, yes, we’re thinking about having children, too. Of course, you’ll be the first we call when it’s nearer the time.�

“Okay, girls,� Fran said, interrupting the talk. “You’ve grilled your brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law enough for today. Help me with the dishes!�

Grumbling a little, Des and Sarah did as they had been told, while Fran sent Derek and Penelope to the living room to prepare everything for their movie night.

“Thank you,� Penelope whispered, when she was sure Derek’s mother and sisters couldn’t hear them anymore.

He turned to frown at her. “For what?�

“Well…� Penelope blushed, and nervously put a strand of hair behind her ear. “For… not telling them the truth when they asked about… us.�

“Hey,� Derek said, wrapping his arms around her and making her look at him. “I did tell them the truth. I told you, I was trying to make a move on you before I found out about you not eating anymore. It’s true that I loved you long before this all happened. And I meant it when I said that I can imagine us getting married or having children one day.�

“I know,� she told him with a nod.

“But you don’t believe me?� Derek carefully asked.

“I do,� she assured him. “I know you wouldn’t lie to me.�

“But?� he softly pressed her.

“No but,� Penelope replied, and took a deep breath. “I know this is real, and I know you are serious. I just… need some time to realize this isn’t a dream.�

“I know what you mean.� Smiling, Derek leaned down to kiss her softly. “Can I do anything to assure you that this is reality?�

“Hm, this was a pretty good start,� she mumbled, tilting her head to demand another kiss.

Derek affirmed willingly, and leaned down to capture her lips again in a soft and lingering kiss. He kept his eyes closed for a moment, enjoying the sweet taste that was purely his Baby Girl. Then he opened his eyes to smile at her.

“You know, I really wish I could make all your worries disappear,� he told her, reaching out to gently brush her cheek with his thumb.

“I don’t think you can,� Penelope admitted, sighing. “Not just like that, anyway. And I really think it’s natural. I mean, any woman with a guy like you by her side would wonder if this was too good to be true, right?�

“I don’t know,� Derek mumbled, frowning at her. “I’m just a normal guy who happens to look quite nice.�

“Drop dead handsome is more like it,� Penelope corrected him.

Derek chuckled. “Okay, if you think. But still, what I wanted to tell you is that I don’t like it when you belittle yourself, just because you think you don’t look good enough for me. I don’t want you to change, because for me, you’re perfect.�

“No, I’m not,� she mumbled, blushing again.

“I mean it,� Derek told her, making her look at him again. “There’s not a thing I would want to change about you. You’re beautiful and sexy, inside and out. I love you, because despite everything we see day in and day out, you still manage to see the beauty in everything and everyone. You’re not jaded or callous; you’re still caring.�

“Please don’t tell me that true beauty comes from within,� Penelope mumbled.

“Why would I say something so corny?� Derek asked, frowning at her once more. “You are beautiful, period. I am crazy for you, and I am most definitely attracted to you. I love you, and I want you.�

Derek pulled her closer to him and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “As a matter of fact, I am unbearably hot for you. And I’m gonna ravish you right here and now if that helps you believe me.�

Penelope drew in a shaky breath. He wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t. Not when his mother and sisters were right next door. No, he wouldn’t do that. He hadn’t even tried so far. Of course, he had told her that he wanted her. But he had never really… tried anything.

Derek gently lifted her chin to make her look at him again. “Stop thinking I can’t want you. I do. I want you, and I’m gonna show you just how much when the time is right. I didn’t try anything so far, because I wanted to take things slow. I wanted to give you time, give us time to let our relationship grow, and I didn’t want you to get the impression that I just wanted to sleep with you.�

“I don’t like it when you read my mind,� Penelope mumbled, and then sighed.

“But sometimes I have to, when you don’t feel you can tell me what’s really going on,� he replied in a soft voice.

“I’m sorry, I just…� Penelope sighed. “There are things that aren’t easy to express.�

“I know,� he told her. “But you can trust me.�

“I do.� she assured him. “And I’m trying to stop keeping anything from you, but sometimes it’s not that easy. No matter how close the friendship, there are things you don’t share with your friends…�

“… but with your lovers,� he added, his tone somewhere between a question and a statement.

“Yeah,� she mumbled, blushing once more. As much as she liked the thought, she still couldn’t think of Derek as her lover.

“Uh, oh. Do I have to show you that this is real again?� he asked, grinning at her.

“Well, it can’t hurt.� Smiling, Penelope tilted her head again, pulling Derek down for another kiss.

“Hey there, turtle doves,� Sarah interrupted them with a giggle. “Weren’t you supposed to put the DVD into the player and take care of the popcorn?�

“Sorry, we got… carried away,� Derek answered with a grin.

“Just start the DVD,� Des told him. “We’ll have our dessert first – and you can take care of the popcorn when we’re watching the second movie.�

Sighing, Derek rolled his eyes. A second movie. He wasn’t going to get some time alone with his favorite girl tonight.

Title: Interruptions
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #10 Popcorn; Movies
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 11/? of the ‘No more sweets’-series. The prompt screamed for some MG cuteness, didn’t it?
warnings: none

AN: Here we go again. Thank you so much for all the reviews/comments I received. It feels good to know that people actually like what I’m writing. Keeps me encouraged to go on. ;)
I hope you’re all safe and well out there, and in case you celebrate the coming holidays, HAPPY EASTER!

When Derek came back to the couch with the bowl of popcorn in his hands, Des had just finished changing the DVDs. He hurried to sit down close to his Baby Girl. They’d behaved during the first movie, just sitting next to each other, eating the crème brûlée his mother had prepared.

But now, the second movie was a love story – he was sure that was what his sisters had picked – and popcorn; there was no way Derek was going to do without any cuddling this time.

He placed the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, and while leaning back, put his arm around Penelope. A contented smile spread across his face when Penelope snuggled up against him. Carefully, he leaned backwards so that his back was resting on the armrest and Penelope was resting against him. This was heaven.

Des pinched Sarah in the side to show her the scene on the couch. They both repressed a giggle when they got a death glare from their brother.

Derek decided not to care about his childish sisters. He wanted to enjoy the feeling of cuddling with his Baby Girl.

Penelope’s heart started beating faster as Derek put his arm around her. She loved cuddling with her chocolate Adonis during movies, but had never thought he would do that with his family around. Okay, he hadn’t minded kissing her in front of them, but still…

Still, this was different. They’d spent so many nights watching movies and cuddling on his couch or hers. But it had always been private, nothing they shared with anyone else, nothing they talked about. It had always been some sort of secret only they knew about. The place they went when they wanted to forget about the evil in the world.

Now, everything was different. She had met Derek’s family. They officially were an item, and there was nothing they tried to hide from anyone anymore. But still, they could get lost in their own little world while cuddling on his couch.

Derek reached into the bowl, and then offered a piece to Penelope, before popping the rest into his mouth. When she raised her head to smile up at him, Derek couldn’t resist stealing a kiss from her.

Penelope blushed slightly and laid her head back on his chest. This was so much better than any cuddling she’d ever experienced with Derek. Not that she wasn’t used to being close to him, but still, it was different.

Whenever Derek held her now, it seemed to be closer – as if there had always been an invisible barrier between them, no matter how close they had been. But now it was gone.

She felt Derek drawing invisible patterns on her back with his fingers, and a pleasurable shiver ran down her spine. This was definitely new, and if his family hadn’t been there…

Penelope sighed. On the one hand, she really wished they were alone, because she wanted Derek so much. On the other hand, she was glad they weren’t alone, because she wasn’t sure she was ready for this yet.

It wasn’t that she was afraid of actually having sex with Derek. But it included him seeing her naked, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that. She was sure he wouldn’t let her turn off the lights, though. He simply wasn’t the kind of guy who did it in the dark.

Derek offered her another piece of popcorn, and she hesitated. Maybe, if she just lost a few pounds, she wouldn’t have to be so worried about him seeing her naked. He was a jock, after all, and she was…

Suddenly, she felt his hand under her chin and looked at him. She could see the question and the worry in his eyes. He didn’t even need to ask or say anything; she knew what that look was supposed to tell her.

Smiling, she took the piece of popcorn he offered, and then leaned up to kiss him.

“Behave over there,� Sarah interrupted them, throwing a piece of popcorn at her brother.

“Look at the movie,� Derek growled. “This is not your business.�

Sensing that there was more to the interaction than Sarah had just witnessed, she decided to leave the matter and turn her attention back to the TV.

“I love you,� Derek whispered.

“Love you, too,� Penelope replied equally voicelessly, and stole another kiss from him, before she laid her head back on his chest.

Derek frowned. Sure, he had known that it wouldn’t be easy for Penelope to get over her insecurities. But the fact that she still seemed apprehensive about what she ate made him worry that she might go back to not eating at all.

Where did it come from? He’d thought that if he could convince her that in his eyes, she was perfect just the way she was, her self-confidence would grow again. But maybe he hadn’t convinced her yet. After all, she was still cautious whenever they became intimate.

They definitely needed to talk once they were alone again.

He turned back to the movie, but was unable to keep his eyes open. It didn’t take long before he had fallen asleep.

He was startled by the ringing of his cell phone what seemed like only seconds later. But it took him only a glance at the TV to realize that he had slept halfway through the movie. Apparently, so had Penelope, because they were both covered by a blanket.

They both rose from the couch, and Derek fished his phone out of his pocket and went to the kitchen. He was sure this wasn’t a friendly call. Not at this time of day, anyway, and not considering the caller ID.

Only two minutes later, Derek returned from the kitchen, and the look on his face told Penelope what was going on.

“Another case?� she asked.

Derek nodded. “We’re heading off in half an hour. It sounded really important.�

Penelope sighed. She’d just been in heaven, sleeping in Derek Morgan’s arms. Now he had to go – meaning that she’d be alone with his lovely, but nosy sisters, who would surely try again to grill her about their relationship.

“Hotch wants you to join us, Baby Girl,� Derek told her. “Seems like someone’s messing with the local PD’s computer system. They lost their internet and half their data and need your supreme genius to fix it. Hotch thinks this might be connected to the killings we’ll investigate.�

“Okay,� she said, jumping up from the couch. “I’ve got my ready bag in Esther’s trunk.�

“Let’s go.� He gave his mother and sisters an apologetic look. “Sorry, girls, we’ll finish this once we’re back.�

“Sure, just stay safe!� Fran called after them.

“I didn’t want to tell you in front of my family,� Derek said when they got into his SUV, “but this one’s gonna be nasty. I saw a few pictures, and what you’ll have to retrieve from the police database is gonna be worse. So if you don’t think you can do this, just let me know.�

“If it helps solve the case and put this guy behind bars, I’m gonna deal with it,� Penelope replied. “Don’t worry, I can handle it.�

Derek reached out to take her hand in his, squeezing it gently. “But if you can’t…�

“…you’re the first one I’ll call,� Penelope assured him. She just hoped she wouldn’t have to.

Title: Girl talk
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #2 Jelly beans
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 12/? of the ‘No more sweets’-series.
warnings: none


“So?� JJ asked conspiratorially, taking a handful of the jelly beans from the bag on Penelope’s desk. Since they didn’t have any new evidence, they didn’t have a profile yet – and therefore, it was too early for a press conference.

Besides, JJ was ready for some distraction, after having gone through the pictures of the crime scenes that were left.

“So, what?� Penelope asked with an innocent shrug, turning back to the computers. She hadn’t managed to restore any of the data yet. Whoever had programmed the virus that had ruined the computer system of the local PD really seemed to know what he was doing – or she, Penelope corrected herself with a slight smile.

JJ rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on! What’s going on with you and Derek?�

“What about me and Derek?� Penelope tried her best to pretend that she didn’t know what JJ was talking about.

On the other hand, JJ tried her best not to growl with frustration. “Well, let’s start with the fact that you arrived together at the airport, and the fact that your flirting was much worse than usual – not to mention all the touches when you thought no one saw you.�

Once again, Penelope just shrugged. “Hidden touches? I really don’t know what you’re talking about. And about us arriving together… He picked me up, so what?�

“He picked you up.� JJ raised an eyebrow at her best friend. “On his way from his apartment to the airport. You don’t live even remotely close to that route.�

“Okay, okay,� Penelope finally gave in. “I was with him, and luckily, I already had my ready bag stored in Esther’s trunk, so we didn’t have to stop by my apartment.�

JJ’s eyes widened. “You were with him? Exactly what time was it when Hotch called?�

“Around eleven,� Penelope replied, “and before you jump to conclusions, nothing happened. We were just watching a movie.�

“Oh, sure, you were just watching a movie.� JJ sighed theatrically. “And why would you do that on a Tuesday evening, when you’re both supposed to be back at work Wednesday morning?�

“Because his sisters suggested it,� Penelope answered with a nonchalant shrug.
Now, JJ’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “His sisters?� she exclaimed. “His sisters were there? Why?�

It was really hard to repress the grin that wanted to appear on Penelope’s face. “Because his mother had wanted to cook for us,� she finally added, trying to sound as if this really was no big deal.

“His mother?� JJ almost jumped up from her chair. “Come on, stop giving me nothing but little pieces of information. Tell me what happened already! Why was his mother cooking for you – and why did you meet his family in the first place?�

“Okay,� Penelope said with a dramatic sigh. This time, she didn’t even try to keep herself from grinning. “Derek asked me to go with him to his sister’s wedding.�

She’d expected JJ to squeal, or aw, or at least say something. But the other woman remained silent. When she turned to her friend, she saw tears shimmering in her eyes. “What?�

“Nothing,� JJ assured her, a dreamy smile on her face. “It’s just that… He wants to take you to his sister’s wedding. This is… really huge, don’t you think?�

“Oh, well, I…� Penelope stuttered, and then smiled a little dreamily herself. “He said he wanted to take someone with him who was special to him, you know?�

This, however, drew the expected squeal from JJ’s lips. “Oh, my God, and? How did you come to meet his family?�

“Well, he… He said he wanted me to meet them before the wedding,� she explained. Damn, they should have agreed on whether to tell the team or not. Penelope desperately wanted to share every detail with JJ, but she wasn’t sure if that was okay with Derek.

“Oh, my God,� JJ gasped once again. “Pen, this is really serious, you know that?�

“I don’t know,� she said, shrugging. She knew JJ was going to kill her any second, but she couldn’t help teasing her friend a little more. “He said it was – really serious, I mean. And he said that he loved me. And kissing him is really great, but…�

“What?� JJ’s shrieking interrupted her. “You KISSED? And you’re telling me NOW?! When did that happen?�

“Oh, um, right after he told me how much he loved me.� Penelope couldn’t hold back a giggle – not when she saw JJ’s jaw hitting the floor.

Penelope hit a few keys on her computer to start a second attempt to restore the data, and then turned to her friend. “He took me out for dinner for my birthday, and at first, I really thought it was no big deal.�

JJ moved closer, as if Penelope was telling her a big secret – or a really exciting story. To JJ, whatever Penelope had to tell her certainly was both.

“But then he asked me to go to his sister’s wedding with him, and to meet his family for dinner beforehand.� Penelope hesitated for a moment. There was no way she was going to tell JJ what had really led to Derek confessing to his feelings for her.

“Shortly before said dinner, Derek told me that he wanted to take me with him to his sister’s wedding, because I was so special to him.� She paused, and she could tell that JJ was going to burst with curiosity any second. “And then we kissed,� she added.

“And what was it like?� JJ asked, full of excitement. “Is our womanizer really as great a kisser as he always pretends to be?�

“Oh, he’s even better,� Penelope gushed. “This kiss was… really perfect.�

“Aw,� JJ said with a sigh. “And then? What happened after the kiss?�

“Nothing,� Penelope answered with a shrug. “I mean, it’s not like we jumped into bed right away. All this happened just yesterday, and… to be quite honest, I think I still have to get used to this situation. It’s pretty new to me.�

“And now this case in getting in the way,� JJ mumbled, cursing inwardly. If they hadn’t been called here, Penelope would surely have been able to tell much more exciting stories by now…

“That’s life,� Penelope replied, shrugging again. “But don’t tell anyone about me and Derek, okay?! It’s not like we want to shout it from the rooftops.�

“Uh oh, do I discern some uncertainties here?� JJ eyed her friend up and down.

Penelope sighed. “No, it’s just that… As I said, our first kiss was yesterday, and… I just… I’ve been dreaming about this for so long that I need a few more days to convince myself that it’s really happening.� Besides, I don’t want to hope for too much.

“Yeah, I understand,� JJ assured her. “But… you’re sure about Derek’s intentions, right?�

“Yes,� she answered, even though it wasn’t entirely true. But she wanted to be sure. She wanted to believe that this was real. She wanted to start a new life with Derek as more than just her best friend. She wanted this tiny voice in her head constantly telling her that this couldn’t be true to finally shut up.

“When is his sister’s wedding?� JJ changed the topic, sensing that she was approaching a matter her friend wasn’t comfortable to address.

“Next month,� she told her. “Derek even bought me a dress for it.�

“He bought you a dress?� JJ exclaimed, squealing again. “What does it look like?�

“Well, it’s purple, and it so is my style,� she replied with a giggle. “But it’s suitable for a wedding, in contrast to most of the rest of my wardrobe. The neckline is… pretty low cut. But it looks really great.�

“Wow!� JJ took another handful of the jelly beans. This was getting better and better.

“Yeah, and it has this…� Penelope was interrupted by the beeping sound her computer made, indicating that it was done trying to retrieve some more data.

She turned her attention back to the screen, looking at the code that, to JJ, looked a lot like ancient hieroglyphs. Then she frowned. “I think I’ve got something.�

JJ put the sweets away and moved closer to the computer screen herself. “Any of the crime scene pictures?�

“No,� Penelope mumbled. “This… This file looks like it might be related to the crime. At least the time code matches the time code of the other files. But this is too big for a picture. Where there any videos taken at the crime scene?�

“None that I know of,� JJ answered with a shrug. “Maybe the locals forgot to mention it.�

Still frowning, Penelope hit a few more keys. “It’s almost half an hour long,� she said, looking at JJ. “I doubt they’d have forgotten about it.�

“Why don’t you just open it and take a look?� JJ wanted to know.

Penelope bit her lip, still staring at the file and everything her baby could tell her about it, without actually opening it. “Well, if it’s related to the case but wasn’t taken by any of the police officers investigating the crime scene, it might be the file that brought the virus into the system. If I open it just like that…�

“The system will just crash again,� JJ finished the sentence. “Got it. So there’s no way to find out what’s on the video?�

“I didn’t say that.� Penelope turned a little to grin at her, while her fingers rushed blindly over the keyboard. “I just have to run the file through the security program I wrote to find the virus and erase it. Then it’ll be safe to just open it.�

“You wrote the program,� JJ repeated, nodding. Penelope always said these things as if they were the most natural thing in the world.

“Yeah,� Penelope confirmed. “The stuff I store on the FBI computers is just too important and too dangerous to rely on the common programs. They usually don’t automatically adapt to new viruses out there.�

“Oh, sure,� JJ said, nodding, and then smiled at her friend. Penelope couldn’t imagine that writing such a program was really impressive in the eyes of some people.

Once again, her computer beeped, green letters telling them that it was now safe to open the file.

When Penelope hit the final key, she immediately regretted it. “Oh, my God,� she gasped, before she turned away from the screen, trying hard not to throw up.

Title: Inquiry
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #20 Do you mind…
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 13/? of the ‘No more sweets’-series.
warnings: none

“So, you and Garcia, huh?�

Derek had almost made an emergency stop at hearing those words from the man next to him. How could he know? Okay, they’d arrived at the airport together, but that was really no big deal, was it?

Maybe it was just good guessing. Rossi seemed to do that a lot. He couldn’t possibly know anything. He was certainly just trying to sound as if he already knew to make Derek talk.

Instead, he cleared his throat. “What about me and Garcia?� he asked in the most neutral tone he could manage while speaking about her.

His heart started beating faster, though. He wasn’t entirely sure why Rossi had addressed the matter at all – most of all, with Hotch sitting in the back seat. Glancing into the rearview mirror, Derek could have sworn he saw a grin flashing over his boss’ face. Was that why they’d gone with him and sent Reid and Emily to the other dumping site? To grill him about whatever they thought they had noticed between Garcia and him?

Damn, they should have talked about whether or not they wanted to tell the team, but Derek had been too busy worrying about Penelope’s reactions to this case. She was feeling too much for the victims not to let this get to her. And this one was nasty.

“Well, she was with you when I called,� Hotch piped up in the backseat. “That was why you told me I didn’t have to call her – and that was why you arrived together at the airport.�

“So?� Derek asked with a nonchalant shrug. “She was with me, and we were watching movies. What’s so unusual about that?�

“Nothing,� Rossi answered with a grin. “It was more about how you two were watching one another, I guess.�

“Or that you were holding hands during the flight, after the briefing,� Hotch added from the back seat.

Derek sighed. “Penelope was upset because of the pictures, our detailed description of the body parts, and which tools were used to dissect the victims. I was just trying to comfort her.�

He wasn’t even telling a lie. Of course, a lot had changed between them. But what the two men were referring to had certainly been the most natural behavior between them that day. They had flirted shamelessly. He had even stolen a kiss from her. But him holding her hand to comfort her really wasn’t any sign that something had changed between them.

“Also, I didn’t stare at Penelope,� Derek added with a slight grumble.

“And the two of you were kissing while you were fighting over the bag of sweets you’d brought on the plane,� Hotch added. “You just didn’t think anyone had noticed.�

Derek remained silent. He was sure no one had seen them when he’d stolen the kiss from her – he had made sure of that – and it had been before they had fought about the sweets. Hotch and Rossi were just trying to draw him out.

“And you’re using her first name,� Rossi noted with a smirk. “That’s new.�

“Yeah, usually you call her Garcia, not Penelope,� Hotch agreed.

“You know, I’m beginning to realize why Penelope hates profilers,� Derek grumbled.

“You know you’re violating the frat rules, right?� Hotch told him in his best boss-manner.

This time, Derek brought the car to a halt. Turning to his boss in the back seat, he said, “What do you want me to do, huh? Admit that Penelope and I are an item? Okay, yes, we are. I love her, and I told her so, and we spent a wonderful day together.

“To be quite honest, I really don’t care about any frat rules. This is much too good to abandon it because of something as stupid as that. So, if you’re trying to tell me that one of us has to leave the unit for us to be allowed to be together, I’ll hand in my resignation tomorrow.�

“Actually, we were just trying to get you to talk,� Rossi told him with a shrug. “We weren’t entirely sure whether or not you’d finally made a move on her.�

“Finally?� Derek raised an eyebrow at the older man.

“Yeah,� Rossi replied, smirking over his shoulder at Hotch. “We both noted the change in your behavior, but we’ve been mistaken about that before, so…�

Derek frowned at him. “What do you mean, you’ve been mistaken before?�

Smirking once more, Rossi replied, “Well, we thought you two had finally made a move after the ordeal with Battle.�

Derek clenched his jaws, but didn’t want to go that way. He didn’t want to talk about Battle, so he decided to take the bull by the horns. “Okay, yes, I… I asked Penelope to go with me to my sister’s wedding. I finally told her how much she means to me, and we spent a wonderful day together. She met my family yesterday; that’s why she was with me.�

Taking a deep breath, Derek said, “So, do I have to look for a new job?�

Hotch and Rossi exchanged a look, before the former said, “You’re not working in the field together – at least, not usually. Besides, it’s impossible for your relationship to affect your work any more than it has so far. So, I don’t see a problem.�

Derek let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he had been holding. If Hotch and Rossi hadn’t approved their relationship… But what would Penelope say to the fact that he’d told their boss – and someone who very well could have been their boss – without having talked to her about that beforehand?

“What about Strauss?� he finally asked. He was sure she wouldn’t approve.

Rossi just smirked at that. “Let me worry about her.�

“Now that we’ve laid it on the line, would you mind driving on?� Hotch asked from the back seat.

Derek mumbled an apology and did as he was told.

Only a second later, Rossi’s cell phone rang. The talk was very short, but from the tension in Rossi’s voice, Derek could tell what it had been about. Penelope had found something – and whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

“Apparently, the UNSUB has uploaded a video into the police database,� Rossi told his colleagues. “Seems like the coroner was right. The victims were still alive while they were tortured – and he didn’t even find half of the injuries that had been caused before their deaths.�

Derek ran a hand over his head. Penelope had, had to watch these scenes, and he hadn’t even been there to help her deal with it. He shouldn’t have agreed to drive to the crime scenes while JJ stayed with her. He remembered very well how hard it had been for her to watch the videos of women being raped and tortured – and this was even worse.

He turned the car around without being told, heading back to the police station.

“That changes our profile,� Rossi said, taking out his notebook. “According to Garcia, the video was most likely the source of the virus. So, he uploaded the video into the police database, and then crashed the system so that all data got lost. Why?�

“Maybe he’s playing games,� Derek suggested. “He wanted us to find the video so we would know exactly what he’d done to his victims.�

“But could he be sure there would be someone who’d be able to restore the data?� Rossi asked. “The local police hadn’t been able to do it.�

“Uploading the video into the database and not assuming that anyone would ever find it doesn’t make any sense,� Hotch jumped in. “Why would he do that, if he really didn’t want anyone to find it?�

“Okay, so, the question is, why did he want us to find it, and if he wanted the video to be seen, why did he hide it in the police database, instead of posting it somewhere?� Rossi mumbled more to himself. “We thought he sent the virus to destroy data.�

“Seems like he’s sure we can’t catch him, not even with the video,� Hotch added. “Maybe Garcia can try and filter some background noises or something.�

Derek clenched his hands around the steering wheel. If the guy had really taped everything he had done to his victims, it would be horrible for Penelope.

Maybe they should consider bringing in another technical analyst – even though Derek was sure Penelope wouldn’t want that. She wanted to help catch the UNSUB, but this might be more than she was able to handle.

“He chose his victims at random,� Hotch started with the profile. “They had nothing in common, except that they were all women between the age of twenty and forty. But they all had different hair colors, a different relationship status; he even crossed race lines, which is very unlikely for a serial killer.�

“He’s very confident,� Rossi added. “Choosing the victims at random certainly means he doesn’t use his time to stalk them and find out about their daily routines. He sees them and strikes – sometimes even at broad daylight.�

“That goes with the fact that he uploaded this video right into the police database,� Derek jumped in. “It’s like he’s mocking us, sure that we’ll never be able to find him.�

“He’s arrogant, and he is ruthless,� Hotch agreed. “There will be another victim soon, if we can’t stop him. And even though I can’t imagine what other torturing methods he might think of, I have a feeling that we haven’t even seen half of what he’s capable of.�

Derek clenched his teeth so much, they were starting to hurt. This wasn’t going to end well, and he wasn’t sure they were going to get out of this unscathed. He knew how much Penelope suffered during cases like this.

It wasn’t that they left him or any of them unaffected, but she suffered the most, he knew that. Or maybe she just was the only one of them who wasn’t afraid to admit it. This was going to be bad – and if the UNSUB was as good with computers as he appeared to be, it might even get worse.

No, it wasn’t going to get that far. He wouldn’t let it. He wouldn’t let this UNSUB haunt his Baby Girl’s dreams. He would try to lighten up her day as much as he could – just like she always did for him. And if this case was getting to her too much, he would make sure she took a break.

Title: Troubled
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #25 Can I? Can I?
Rating: M for some graphic scenes related to the case
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 14/? of the ‘No more sweets’-series.
Warnings: see above

AN: I tried not to describe the torture scenes in too much detail, but still I’m rather sure this is no longer suitable for children or teenagers. So, if you know you’re troubled by such scenes, you should skip the first few paragraphs. For those who want to read the chapter, but don’t want to read what exactly the UNSUB did to his victims, skip until the little smiley indicating that it’s okay to read on afterwards. :)
I’m sorry if some of your reviews you so loyally sent for earlier chapters remained unanswered. I experienced some trouble with the reply link on FFN and couldn’t PM all of you. Be sure that all of your reviews are always very much welcome and appreciated.
Now, I hope you can enjoy this chapter, despite the fact that it’s pretty dark.

When they arrived at the station, all Derek really wanted to do was gather Penelope in his arms and promise her that she would never have to look at the awful video again. They should surely bring another technical analyst in.

Hotch gave their computer genius a worried look. She was pale – incredibly pale – and her hands were shaking as she hit the play button.

“When I tried to restore the data from the crashed system, this is what I found,� she said, her voice husky. “It was the file that inserted the virus into the system. How that happened, I’m not sure, and I can’t trace that back. Someone must have opened the file, though, to start the installation of the virus. I’m not sure if said someone saw the content of the file, or not.�

None of the present agents missed how she was keeping her back turned to the screen while talking and showing them the content of the video.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t watch this again. I did three times already before you got here, trying to find anything in the background. But there’s nothing but screaming and whimpering – except for the nasty sounds his… tools make when he uses them,� Penelope told them.

“The woman is Amanda Connor, his third victim,� she told her colleagues. “And before you ask, yes, the video is real. Everything you see in it actually happened to that woman.�

Emily drew in a sharp breath as she watched the UNSUB moving what appeared to be a razor blade over Amanda’s inner thighs. The woman cried out in pain, and then whimpered.

“For those of you who asked themselves whether he rapes his victims before he… literally rips them apart, here’s the answer,� Penelope said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Oh, my God,� Emily exclaimed, choking.

“I don’t believe this.� It slipped out Derek’s mouth, the taste of bad eggs spreading over his tongue.

“This is a pear,� Penelope told them, trying her best to ignore the ear-shattering screams coming from Amanda in her agony. “It’s an ancient instrument of torture for women, used especially in medieval times.�

“This is… horrible,� Emily whispered, as she desperately tried to keep her breakfast from coming up.

“It’s not even the worst part,� Penelope told her, choking up, even though she didn’t look at the video. She knew well enough what was going on there.

“How is it even possible that she’s still alive?� Emily wanted to know.

“The damage caused by this instrument isn’t fatal,� Reid explained. “They were produced to cause pain, not death.�

“Oh, God, he isn’t going to…� Emily stopped, staring at the screen in disbelief as she watched the UNSUB rape the mutilated woman. “Why… Why didn’t she at least pass out?� She felt her stomach turn as she watched.

“According to the autopsy report, she had so much adrenaline running through her veins that it certainly kept her from passing out,� Reid replied.

“The UNSUB gave her adrenalin to keep her awake during this… torture?� Derek exclaimed.

“Seems like,� Reid answered, nodding.

“A sexual sadist,� Hotch added for the profile, “even though this goes far beyond any sadism I’ve ever experienced.�

“Wait… is that?� Emily gasped.

“He makes them drink their own blood,� Penelope replied.

“Switch it off,� Hotch commanded, his voice unusually soft.

Penelope swallowed, before responding, “It’s going to get worse. When there’s not enough blood coming from the wound anymore, he starts cutting them open, and…�

:)

“That’s enough for today,� Hotch interrupted her. “We can look at the rest later. We’ll work on the profile, and you get some rest.�

“Sir, I assure you, I can…� Penelope started to object.

Hotch silenced her with just one look. “That was an order,� he told her. “Get some rest.�

“Okay,� she finally agreed. She didn’t want to admit it. She didn’t want to be treated differently than anyone else. But she was grateful for the break.

Flashing Derek the most honest smile she could manage, Penelope slowly walked out of the room. She felt sick. She’d thrown up at least five times while watching the video, and she was sure there was nothing left in her stomach, but she still felt sick.

Derek sighed and ran a hand over his face. He should have been there. He should be able to be there for her now.

Hotch frowned at the other agent. Everyone could see how much the video had affected Garcia – and they needed her to track the UNSUB down, if he was as good with computers as he seemed to be. Besides, it was one of Hotch’s duty to take care of his team, especially during cases like this.

“Go,� he simply said, nodding to his agent. Garcia shouldn’t be alone right now – and Morgan wouldn’t be of any help if he was worrying more about their technical analyst than about the case.

Derek immediately jumped up and followed Penelope out of the room. He caught up with her at the exit of the police station. “Hey, Baby Girl, wait for me!�

She turned to him, her face even paler than a minute ago. “Do you need me to run another background check or something?�

There was no bantering, no teasing, not the slightest hint of humor in her voice, and Derek’s worry grew. “No,� he said, his voice soft, and put an arm around her. “Hotch gave both of us the rest of the day off, so I thought we can spend it together – if you want to, that is. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.�

“Oh,� was her only reaction to that. She wanted to sleep for as long as possible, even though she knew she would only wake up from the scenes she’d had to witness and from the screams of the tortured woman.

She wanted to cry, but didn’t want the rest of the team to think that she was vulnerable, that she couldn’t handle this. But the truth was that she couldn’t, and she didn’t want to have to handle things like this.

“So, what would you like to do?� Derek asked, trying not to show her how worried he really was about her.

“I… don’t know,� she replied weakly.

Oh, she did know. She wanted to curl up – preferably in Derek’s arms – and try to hide from the whole rest of the world until they caught this… monster. She knew that was a cliché, but she couldn’t think of this man otherwise. She refused to believe that a human being was capable of doing something so horribly cruel.

“How about lunch?� Derek suggested. He knew that Penelope needed to eat something.

Penelope just shrugged. “I’m not really hungry.� As a matter of fact, she had puked up more than she’d eaten in about three days.

“Do you think some tiramisu could change your mind?� he tried again.

“I really don’t want to eat anything,� Penelope admitted. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Not after having watched that video.�

Derek just nodded, gently pulling her into his arms. “How about we just go back to the hotel, and you try and get some rest,� he whispered.

He felt her nod against his chest, and led her out of the police station to his SUV. The drive was silent. Penelope stared out of the window on the passenger side and seemed to be a thousand miles away – and from the look on her face, Derek could tell that it wasn’t a good place.

They checked in at the hotel, telling the receptionist that they were with the FBI and had booked seven rooms.

“There’re two rooms joined through a shared bathroom in the middle,� the woman told Derek. “Who’ll take these rooms?�

Derek thought about it for a moment, before he replied, “We’ll take them.� This way, he could be as close to his Baby Girl as possible, without drawing too much attention to their still-developing relationship.

Nodding, the woman handed him two keycards and described the way to their rooms.

Derek took his and Penelope’s luggage, and then led her to the elevator. Their rooms were on the fifth floor, with a nice view over the city.

He opened her door, carried their bags inside, and watched as she sank onto the bed. “Do you… want me to leave you alone?� he asked carefully.

Penelope looked up at him for a second, before she whispered, “I don’t know. I’m tired, but… I’m afraid that if I close my eyes, all I’ll see is that woman and what that monster did to her. I can’t forget… her screams.�

Sitting down next to her, Derek put his arm around her. “Maybe I can… chase the nightmares away,� he whispered.

Penelope leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt incredibly tired. How Derek would be able to chase away her nightmares, she didn’t question. There was no room in her head to worry about her insecurities now. She just wanted to forget.

“Come on,� Derek said softly, tugging at her sleeve. “Let me hold you. I promise, I won’t let any of this get to you.�

She raised her head to look into his eyes, and suddenly, she wasn’t able to hold back the tears any longer. “I’ve never seen anything… so horrible before.�

“Me, either,� Derek assured her. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you had to watch it. I’m sorry you had to watch it at all. But I promise we’ll catch this guy – so that all of us can sleep peacefully again.�

“I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to sleep peacefully again,� she whispered. “I’m just… not trained for this.�

“Trust me, you can’t be,� Derek replied. “Nothing and no one can ever prepare you for something like this.�

“How can you… not let this affect you?� she asked.
Derek breathed deeply, before he answered. “It affects all of us – even Hotch. No one can watch something so horrible, and then move on as if nothing ever happened – except for a really sick mind like that of our UNSUB.

“But we’ve learned to deal with it. We’ve learned to concentrate on things like the background noises, and not the screams of the victim. We concentrate on… reflections in reflective surfaces, or the movements of lights and shadows, instead of what the UNSUB does to the victim.�

“And you never call the victim by her name,� she added. Everyone always told her not to personalize with the victims. But no one ever really told her how not to.

“It helps to put some daylight between yourself and the case,� Derek said, nodding.

“How can a human being do something like this to another?� she whispered, burying her face in his chest.

Derek carefully made both of them lay down on the bed, pulling her close against him. “I don’t know,� he replied honestly. “I only know that there is a lot of evil in the world, and we can’t do more than our best to put people like this UNSUB behind bars.�

She just nodded in his arms, mumbled a thank you, and closed her eyes in an attempt to finally find some much needed rest.

Title: Victim
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #27 Cafe
Rating: M just to be sure
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 15/? of the ‘No more sweets’-series.
warnings: none

AN: Sorry it took me forever again to post anything. Crazy doesn’t seem to be the right word to describe what my life has been like lately. You remember this quote from the last Criminal Minds episode (At least I guess it was the last one…) “And yet for every bad there is a worse.� That seems to fit for the last two weeks.
I really don’t want to talk about it right now. Maybe later, maybe not at all, I don’t know. It has just been too much for my muse to handle, I guess. So I really wasn’t in the mood for writing. It’s hard to tell when my muse will be back, but I hope it’ll be soon.
Until then, I fear you’ll have to do with what little I’ll be able to post. I really thought I would be able to update regularly for a while. But as usual, life seems to have different plans. Maybe I’ll have to be kept from writing every now and then to be reminded how much it really means to me. Besides, if life is all ease and fun, you’re not really that creative, are you?!

Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

“Hey, Baby Girl,� Derek greeted carefully, as he entered the room she had made her office for the time they were dealing with this case. “Are you ready to go?�

She tiredly wiped her eyes, without turning away from her computers. “Go where?�

“It’s time for lunch,� Derek told her. “I know you desperately want to catch this guy, but you still have to eat something.�

“Trust me, I’m not hungry,� she mumbled.

“I know, but…� Derek tried, but gave up before he even started his plea. He knew it was pointless arguing with her about that issue. She hadn’t eaten much since she’d first watched this video – which had been almost four days ago.

Derek couldn’t help wondering if she was back to not eating anything. He couldn’t even convince her to have a soup for lunch or dinner.

She only crawled into bed at night, tossing and turning the whole night through, and then she crawled out of bed and back to work in the morning. Those nights were the only times when his touch didn’t seem to make her feel uncomfortable. She allowed him to hold her so that she could at least find some rest.

Their relationship had just begun developing, and being allowed to touch her was still new, and therefore exciting for him. He liked the feeling of her soft skin, her body snuggled up close against him – and before they had started working this case, he had been sure that Penelope felt the same.

But whenever he touched her now, she stiffened – and Derek could understand that, after everything she’d had to watch over and over again. She had watched this video way too often.

He was sure she didn’t even realize her recent reaction to his touches – but it made him not dare to touch her, let alone kiss her anymore. This case was tearing her apart, and that was tearing their relationship apart. But he couldn’t, he wouldn’t, let that happen. Not without fighting for her.

He would make her eat, no matter what. He would back off, give her some space if that was what she needed right now, but he wouldn’t give up on her. He wouldn’t let this sicko ruin their relationship before it had even really started.

“You know, there is this nice little café on the way to the hotel,� he said. “What about grabbing some lunch and getting a little break from all this? Maybe they’re selling tiramisu.�

“I can’t,� Penelope whispered, tiredly rubbing her eyes.

“Baby cakes, I know you want to solve this case. We all want that. And we’re all exhausted and frustrated that we can’t find a lead,� he told her. “But you can’t help anyone anymore when you collapse again and end up in the hospital.�

Sighing, Penelope stopped the video and let her head drop. “He won’t stop doing… this to other women. If I don’t find a lead soon…�

“Baby, you can’t risk your own health while trying to stop him. I know you want to see him behind bars – we all do – but…�

“What if I’m the only chance they have?� she interrupted him weakly. “The only lead is this video, and I… I can’t stop trying. If I stop, and he kills another woman…�

Carefully, Derek pulled her to her feet and into his arms. He felt her stiffen the moment he touched her, as she always did lately. Maybe he shouldn’t dare to touch her at all, but he couldn’t see her so distraught.

“Baby Girl, don’t try carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders,� Derek said softly, resisting the urge to lift her chin and kiss her. “You’re not the only one working this case. We’re as stuck with the profile as you are with the video – and if there really is another victim, the only one to blame for that is the UNSUB.�

“I know that,� Penelope assured him. “I just… I want this to be over.�

“We all want to close this case and head home,� Derek told her. “And we will. But believe me, you need to put some daylight between yourself and this case.�

“Please, don’t tell me again that I shouldn’t identify with the victim,� Penelope said, snorting, as she pushed him away. “Her screams will be burnt into my brain for the rest of my life. I would recognize her whimpering out of a million others – not to mention the pictures I never wanted to see, and now won’t ever be able to forget. I honestly don’t know how not to identify with Amanda Connor.�

“All I wanted to say is that after a little break, you will be able to look at all this with fresh eyes; and that might help you to see something new,� he assured her.

“He rapes her after he has literally torn her apart. He makes her drink her own blood, and when the wound isn’t bleeding enough anymore, he starts cutting her open. And when she’s finally about to pass out, he starts chopping her up while she’s still alive.� Her voice was filled with bitterness. “I don’t know what ‘new’ there would be for me to see.�

Derek opened his mouth to argue with her, but a knock on the door kept him from doing so.

“We’re heading for lunch,� Hotch said, sticking his head in. “Are you going to join us?�

“Yes,� Derek agreed, before Penelope was able to reject the offer.

Hotch didn’t need to be a profiler to notice the tension, and Derek’s quick reaction to his offer told him that they had just been arguing about that issue. “Garcia, take a break, and join us for lunch!�

“Sir, I…�

“That was an order,� Hotch interrupted her. “You’ll switch the video off now, take a break from all this, and join us for lunch.�

Reluctantly, she gave in. She had to admit that she could really use something to eat – not to mention a break.

“Sweetness, nobody’s thinking that you can’t do this,� Derek assured her. “We’re just trying to remind you that you have to take care of yourself – and if you don’t, we have to do it.�

“I know,� she whispered. “I just… I don’t know. I wish I could do something. I watch this video again and again, and I keep hoping that I’ll find something, but…�

“Stop right there, momma,� Derek softly interrupted her. “You always find the lead in the end, even if it seems impossible for you to find the connection between the victims or the name of the suspect… In the end, you always find a lead, because you’re the best.�

“What if I’m not?� she whispered. “What if he’s better?�

Carefully, Derek caught her in his arms once more. She stiffened again, but this time, she relaxed a little right afterwards, leaning her head against his chest. “There’s no way he’s better than you, and you know why?�

“No,� she whispered, closing her eyes for a moment, allowing herself to enjoy the warmth of Derek’s embrace.

“Because he’s a mere mortal,� Derek said with a smile.

She raised her head to look up at him. “And what am I?�

“You,� he replied, smiling down at her, “are a goddess, Baby Girl.�

She smiled, something she hadn’t felt like doing for a very long time. “Thank you,� she whispered.

Derek wondered if he should dare and kiss her now. But the decision was made for him when Hotch came back into the room. The expression on his boss’s face told him that their lunch had to wait.

“Another victim?� Penelope asked. Even she was able to read it in Hotch’s face.

“I’m afraid so,� he said. “We’re going to investigate the dumping site. We’ll have lunch afterwards.�

“I’ll go back to searching the police database,� Penelope said. “Maybe he uploaded another video.� She wasn’t sure whether she should hope that he had, or that he hadn’t.

Derek gave her a worried look, but decided to leave her alone. He had tried his best to show her that there wasn’t only evil in the world, that they could get through this case, just as they could get through anything else.

But she was too focused on saving the victims to really listen to him.

“I will make her take a break once we’re back from the dumping site,� Hotch assured his agent when he sensed Derek’s worry as he got into the driver’s seat of their SUV.

Derek just nodded absentmindedly. He could understand that after having watched this video so many times, Penelope didn’t feel like eating at all. But it was dangerous, given her current struggle with self-esteem.

He had noticed how carefully she watched what she ate, how she hesitated before putting a piece of chocolate or another sweet in her mouth. It was dangerous for her to have such a lack of appetite for such a long time.

Besides, the case was keeping them too busy with other things, and it was therefore slowly tearing them apart. He couldn’t be there for her as often as he wanted to. There was no time for him to reassure her that he thought she was beautiful, that he was attracted to her.

She didn’t seem to be able to stand his touch at the moment, so there was no way of showing her how much he wanted her.

“Is there something I should know?� Hotch asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Sighing, Derek shook his head.

“Is something wrong with Garcia?� Hotch pressed him, not willing to drop the matter that easily, not considering their current situation, anyway. “You know, I can take her off the case if she can’t handle it.�

“Do you really think she would let you?� Derek replied.

Frowning slightly, Hotch added sternly, “I can make her.�

“I know,� Derek said, running a hand over his face as he waited for the traffic light to change to green. “And I would love for you to, but I don’t think that’s the best way. She’s the best computer genius we have – and I think she needs to help us solve the case to deal with all this. If she gave up now, or was forced to do so, she would never forgive herself.�

“Good,� was all Hotch replied.

Derek frowned at his boss. Why did he have the impression that Hotch had never actually wanted to take Penelope off the case? Had that just been a test?

“You tend to worry too much about her,� Hotch answered his question.

“Not in this case,� Derek mumbled.

“She’s stronger than you think she is,� Hotch told him.

“I know how strong she can be,� Derek objected.

“But still, she’s not one of us,� Hotch reminded him. When Derek turned to give him a questioning look, he added, “You shouldn’t try reminding her of the coping strategies we learned. She doesn’t know about them, and maybe they don’t work for her.�

“Then what do I do to help her?� he mumbled.

“Maybe you should just have a little faith in her,� Hotch suggested. “I know she’s always taking cases like this one very hard. But I also know that she can handle them – and so do you. So what are you really worried about?�

“Maybe you’re right, and I worry too much,� Derek avoided answering the question. And maybe, instead of trying to tell her how to handle this case all the time, he should just tell her that they all believed in her, that they were sure she could handle this case. That he was sure she could handle this.

Hotch frowned. Something was definitely wrong – something beyond this case. But Derek obviously wasn’t willing to talk about it. Hotch couldn’t help but wonder if this something would eventually keep either of the two from doing their job. If so, they had a serious problem.

Title: Pieces
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Prompt for 30 sweets: #1 Can I have this?
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 16/? of the ‘No more sweets’-series.
warnings: none

AN: Once again, I’m sorry for the delay. During the last days before the summer break, things tend to get crazy. Besides, I’ve been spending time trying to find new inspiration, and with that also exploring something new. But that’s a different story.
Back on topic. Once again, I have no idea when I’ll be able to post again. I haven’t written anything. I’m kinda stuck with the stories here. But as usual, I’m sure this’ll pass eventually.
Now, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I had to post two chapters of this story in a row because I hadn’t finished anything else. Thanks for hanging in there with me as you always do. I’m sorry for the delays again.

“Here we go, baby cakes,� Derek greeted, as he brought her the lunch they’d picked up on their way to the station. “Time to take a break.�

She hadn’t missed the change in his behavior. He had stopped greeting her with a kiss. As a matter of fact, he barely even touched her anymore.

She wasn’t sure, though, if he had changed his behavior on purpose, or if it had just happened somewhere along the way. She wasn’t even sure he had noticed the change himself.

She was even less sure about why his behavior had changed in the first place. Was it the case tearing them apart? Was it the fact that she obviously was unable to handle this case? Was he disappointed now, or mad at her? Or had he simply lost interest in her?

She had tried to console herself by telling herself he was just too focused on the case. But eventually, she had to admit to herself that this couldn’t be the only reason. He had never been too focused on a case to flirt with her.

“Baby?� His voice interrupted her thoughts, clearly filled with worry.

She turned around to give him a weak smile. “Sorry, sugar, I was just… thinking.�

“Did you find anything?� he asked, frowning in concern. “Another video or something?�

“No,� she replied, sighing. “I’m not sure if I should be glad about that or not. It obviously doesn’t mean that he has stopped killing. If there was another video, maybe I would find something.�

“You’ll find something in this video,� Derek told her, trying to sound as confident as possible.

“I wish you were right,� she said, turning back to her computer. “But I honestly don’t know where to look for something to find.�

“Take a break now and have lunch with me,� Derek told her. “Or do I need to get Hotch to make you eat?�

She turned around again, smiling slightly, and took the fork he offered.

“Unfortunately, the café was still closed,� Derek explained. “They don’t open before five. But we found a Chinese diner, and I thought you might enjoy having some fortune cookies.�

“Thanks,� she whispered, trying to give him a smile. She didn’t feel like eating any more now than she had about an hour ago. But she knew she needed to eat.

Derek frowned at her in concern, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to fight with her about eating again. He didn’t want to fight with her at all.

Picking at her food, Penelope sighed. “I start believing that there is nothing to find. I’ve watched this video so often that I can tell you exactly when she cries out in pain, when she cries for help, and when she just whimpers. Not to mention the sounds of her body being torn apart, her bones cracking, and…�

“Have you tried switching off the sound?� Derek suggested.

She looked at him for a second, but didn’t answer. She knew the video well enough by now that even without the sound on, she would hear the crying and cracking in her head.

“You’ll find something,� Derek insisted, hoping that he could encourage her a little. “We’ve been stuck with cases before, but in the end, we always found a lead.�

“Yeah, but I’m not like you,� Penelope whispered. “I can’t look at those videos like you do.�

Carefully reaching over the table, Derek took her hand in his, squeezing it gently. “I know you can do this,� he told her. “You’re much stronger than you think you are.�

“What if I’m not?� she objected, fighting back the tears that wanted to spring to her eyes.

“I know you are,� Derek assured her. “We all know how strong you really are. You’ve proved that often enough.�

“But this time, it’s different,� she replied. “I can’t guarantee that there is anything to find – and I can’t guarantee that if there is anything, I’ll find it. I’ve watched this video way too often, and whenever I hit that stupid play button again, I get closer to a nervous breakdown. And I can’t handle knowing that you all rely on me so much, because I’m so not trained for all this, and I feel like I won’t be able to handle this much longer – or at all…�

“Sweetness, why do you think we rely on you so much?� Derek softly asked.

Penelope thought about his question for a moment, before shrugging.

“Because you proved that you are reliable so often,� he said, giving her what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “You’ve been stuck before, even more than once, but it never held you back. You never let anything stop you from digging deeper, narrowing down the list of suspects or hiding places or finding a connection between the victims.�

“I don’t know,� Penelope mumbled.

“But I do,� he insisted. “Maybe you should take a break from watching the video. Maybe you should try something else, like finding a connection between the victims, or tracing back the virus, and then—�

“Don’t you think I already did all that?� she interrupted him sadly. “But like with the video, I came up empty. There is nothing to find – or I just can’t find it.�

“Yes, you can,� Derek objected, squeezing her hand once more. “I know you can. We can solve this case, and you will help us.�

“I’m tired, Derek,� she whispered. “Not only because I have trouble sleeping. I’m… tired of all this.�

“I know,� he said quietly, “and believe me, I understand. Whenever we work such horrible cases, I’m asking myself whether I really want to do that for the rest of my life.�

She raised her head to look at him.

“It’s true,� he assured her. “And I really think it’s natural. We’re surrounded by the worst of mankind everyday. But do you know what keeps me doing this job?�

She shook her head no.

“You,� he told her with a smile. “You always manage to make me smile and make this job a little easier. You help all of us doing this; you lighten up everyone’s day with your wit and your cheerful nature.�

“I’m really not feeling cheerful at the moment,� she responded sadly.

“I know,� Derek replied. “But there’s something else helping me in cases like this. It’s the knowledge that when this case is over, we will have put another monster out of action and made this world a little safer.�

“What if we don’t?� Penelope objected weakly. “Whenever a case is over, there’s another one, and another one, and yet another one. This is never going to end. We can’t make the world safer, because whenever we put one UNSUB out of action, there is another one stepping into his shoes.�

“Imagine what this world would be like if we didn’t at least try and fight them,� he responded. “Imagine all the people we have put behind bars still out there. And think about how many lives we saved. Not only those victims we found alive, but also all the potential victims of UNSUBs we caught.�

This time, she didn’t say anything in return.

“You know, the Canadian author Lloyd S. Lefteruk wrote that evil only strengthens the good in the world,� he told her.

She raised her head again and smirked ever so slightly. “Did you ask Reid for that?�

He chuckled, relieved about a little bit of playfulness in her voice. “Yeah, you got me.�

“Why hasn’t he uploaded another video anywhere?� Penelope asked after a moment of silence. “I mean, Amanda Connor was his third victim. Maybe he didn’t record the first two killings. But in the meantime, there have been two more victims we know of. Where are their videos? He wouldn’t go through all this to get our attention, and then stop sending us that… stuff, right?�

“I don’t know,� Derek replied honestly. “We’ve been asking ourselves the same question. I agree, he wouldn’t just stop. It doesn’t fit the profile. He uploaded this video along with the virus to show that he can mess with us and that we’re still unable to find him. He seems so sure of himself that it doesn’t make sense that he’s so quiet about the recent murders.�

A knock on the door interrupted them. Only a second later, a young man dressed in a postman’s uniform stuck his head in. “Excuse me, I have a delivery for Ms. Penelope Garcia.�

Both Derek and Penelope frowned first at each other, and then at the delivery man.

“That’s me,� Penelope said, taking the small package from the man and signing the chart.

Derek examined the box, and his eyes widened when a dark stain in the bottom-left corner caught his attention. Slowly, he stood up. “Baby Girl, put that thing down!�

“What? What’s wrong?� she asked, her voice filled with fear. What had Derek noticed? Was it a bomb or something?

“Nothing,� he assured her, moving his eyes from the delivery to hers. “Just put that thing down, okay?�

Doing as she was told, she carefully put the package on the table and whispered, “What do you think’s inside? A bomb or something?�

“No,� he told her, moving around the table so that he was standing next to her. “I don’t think it’s a bomb – and I don’t think you want to know what’s inside. Go and get Hotch, will ya?�

“But…� she tried to argue.

“Please, Baby Girl, go get Hotch,� he told her. “And then stay outside. You don’t wanna be here when we open this.�

Shaking, she walked out of her temporary office. She found Hotch and the others in the briefing room.
They all jumped up when they saw the expression on her face.

“I just received a delivery without a return address, and Derek told me to get you,� she explained. “He refused to let me open it, saying I wouldn’t want to know what was inside.�

Hotch just nodded and rushed out of the room. When he arrived in Garcia’s office, Derek had already ripped open the package and was now examining its contents.

“We need some gloves,� Derek said, “and the CSU.�

Hotch stepped closer, glancing into the open box, and drew in a breath. “I’ll call them.�

“Now we know why there hasn’t been another video,� Derek commented more to himself, as Hotch stepped outside, calling for the CSU. “He came up with something more shocking.�

“We need to figure out how he found out Garcia’s name,� Hotch replied, after having stepped back inside.

“Well, we met the Sheriff in front of the police station, and you introduced all of us. Besides, when we checked in at the hotel, we told the receptionist our names, too. This is a small town. If the UNSUB’s local – and I’m damn sure he is – it was easy for him to find out all our names.�

“True.� Frowning, Hotch stepped out of the room and watched the CSU rush inside.

“What is it?� Penelope asked, her voice still shaking. “What was inside that package?�

Sighing, Derek told her, “It was a part of one of his victims – probably the latest.�

Penelope’s eyes widened. “What does that mean, ‘a part’?�

“Baby…�

“What does that mean?� she insisted.

Sighing again, Derek looked at Hotch, and then back at Penelope, before he replied, “It was her heart.�