It was late afternoon and the BAU team were headed home from Chicago. This had been an especially hard case because as it turned out, SSA Derek Morgan, was a victim.
Now Morgan was sitting by the window listening to loud rock music.
Reid, knowing that Morgan didn't want anything to change even though they all knew his secret, went and sat across from Morgan.
"Hey."
Morgan frowned slightly.
"Hi." He replied carefully.
"Oh, would you like to sit alone?"
Reid asked. He knew that Morgan might also like some time alone to take in the fact that everyone knew what Carl Buford had done to him.
"No, No it's fine you can sit here." He said sitting up and shaking his head.
Reid nodded.
After several minutes Reid broke the silence.
"Morgan..." He started before Morgan held up a hand and stopped him.
"Reid I know you mean well, but I don't want to talk about it."
Reid nodded again.
"I know. That wasn't what I was going to say."
"Oh. Okay. Just... Uh... putting it out there." Morgan said frowning again.
After several minutes Reid started again.
"Morgan..." Reid took a deep breathe.
"I understand more then you know."
Morgans frown deepened.
"Reid... What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I understand what you went through." He replied biting his bottom lip. Morgan blinked a few times.
"How? Reid... Did.... Did someone..." Morgan couldn't finish his sentence.
Reids gaze dropped and he nodded.
Morgan swallowed and blinked a few times.
Morgans gaze also dropped.
"Who?" He asked quietly.
"One of my high school teachers who later transferred to my college. I was only ten when it started and when I went to college I was twelve."
Morgan nodded.
"Did you ever tell...?" he asked quieter still.
Reid pursed his lips.
"There wasn't anyone to tell..." Reid said looking up shaking his head.
Despite the fact of not wanting to be a hypocrite he just had to know.
"What happened?" he asked even quieter still.
Reid was quiet for the first few minutes.
"I'm sorry, you don't have to answer..." Morgan said quickly mistaking Reids silence for silence and not thinking.
"No, no. It's fine I'm gonna answer I just... Need to think for a minute."
Morgan nodded.
After another minute or so Reid started, but starred just past Morgans feet.
"I used to eat alone in classrooms so that I didn't end up wearing my lunch instead of eating it. One day I chose my math teachers room. After a few minutes he walked in and asked me why I was there. I told him and he suggested I eat with him in his office from now on so I always knew where to go during lunch." Reid took a moment, then continued.
"After a few weeks I started trusting him more. He'd lend me books and would give me a new lunch when mine got stolen. He even let me keep extra clothes there for when I got eggs thrown at me or attacked with water balloons. "
"You got attacked with water balloons?!" Morgan said, beyond shock.
Reid frowned and nodded.
"Sorry. Go on."
Reid sighed.
"One day I went there to grab my extra clothes, because someone had thrown their lunch at me. He was there and I was going to go to the bathroom to change when he suggested to me to just change there. I didn't really want to but I also didn't want to risk getting shoved into a locker on the way to the bathroom. While I was changing he came over to put some books away and while he was walking away he grabbed me from behind. H-he started to..." Reid closed his eyes tight for a minute.
Then he opened them and continued.
"He started to touch me, from behind. I tried to pull away but... Every day or so he'd do it again. I wanted to stop going to his office but... I had nowhere else to go. I thought it was all over when I went to college but he got transferred and threatened me if I didn't go to his office during lunch or sometimes he'd make me go to his office at night. About a year into college it... Ummm... Got a lot worse."
Reid said quietly, clearing his throat at the ummm part.
Morgan wanted to scream. On top of the fact that Reid had been severally bullied he was also abused sexually! This was too much. Now Morgan understood why he never took charge and was always quiet and timid.
"Its also even harder for him because he has an eidetic memory and can remember every god dawn detail!" Morgan thought, angrily.
"Instead of just... Ummm... Touching he... Ummm... He s-started to... Ummm... Ummm..." Reid stopped to close his eyes and breathe for a minute.
"It's okay Spencer. It's Morgan, you can trust him!" Reid thought. For once, Spencer Reid, was speechless.
Still with his eyes closed he said quietly:
"He started to r-rape me."
They were both quiet for awhile.
Finally Morgan broke the silence by reaching over a putting his hand on Reids knee. Reid flinched slightly at the unexpected contact.
"Thank you, Spencer. I know it was really hard for you to say that."
Reid nodded, that's when Morgan noticed the moisture collecting in the young agents eyes.
"Don't cry Reid. It's okay." Morgan said trading seats to sit beside Reid, and rubbing his back in concern. Reid flinched, again, at Morgans touch.
Reid shook his head.
"No. No it's not." Reid said shaking his head, and covering his face with his hands.
"You're right Spencer. And I'm so sorry you had such a crap childhood." Morgan replied, sympathetically.
Reid squeezed his fist into a ball, as the tears escaped his eyes and ran down his cheeks.
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I Understand More Then You Know by CMFANS2E12
Story Note:
Read the summary. Rated M for talking about and mentions of rape and sexual abuse. PLEASE REVIEW!!!
Chapter Notes: WARNING: Mentions of rape and sexual abuse!
Endnotes: PLEASE REVIEW!!!