(Evangeline’s POV)
Is that coffee I smell? Inhaling deeply I try to get my bearings. Waiting in the clinic lobby for Layla is always so damn frustrating. It had been a month since the earthquake that caused that beam in the warehouse to fall on me trapping me in the rubble. He pulled me out to safety but I woke to darkness.
My life is now forever changed. Coming to this clinic to cope with being blind has been a great help. I can pretty much find my way around with my cane and at home I’m even able to fix a sandwich now with ease. Though I end up with cheese and jelly sometimes instead of ham and mayo.
Smiling to myself I can’t help but laugh. Life is so ironic sometimes. There I was in that blasted warehouse trying to get the scoop on Denton for Todd. Determined to save him, when in the end I couldn’t save myself.
“Ms. Williamson, can I get you a cup of coffee?”
Lifting my head I smile at the warm voice. She smells of cigarettes and spearmint gum drift lazily under my nose. Funny how being blind makes me so aware of things I never paid attention to. “I thought that was coffee I smelled. Yes a cup would be nice”
“Is your sister coming?” the nurse asked and I can hear a tinge of concern in her voice.
“My sister’s coming, thank you” I say sitting back. I know that Layla must be overwhelmed with chauffeuring me to and from the clinic. I wished that I didn’t have to rely on her, but she’s the only person that I trust.
John was at my bedside when I woke, and I appreciated his concern. When he tried to insert himself in my recovery I made it really clear. I wouldn’t accept his charity when I could see, and I won’t do it now. Since then he’s called and showed up at the apartment, but I had Layla running interference. She was doing a pretty good job.
“Here you go..” The nurse said grabbing my hands so I could hold the warm styrofoam cup. “Oh wait, I didn’t put anything in it. Do you want sugar or cream?”
“No black is fine…” I said lying. I wouldn’t have her make a second trip. She grows silent and I know what that means. She’s looking at me with pity.
“Thanks I’m fine…” I say smiling upward in the direction I think she is.
“I’ll be right at the nurse’s station if you need me. My name is Janet.”
“Thanks Janet”
Hearing the soft squishy sound of her orthopedic looking nursing shoes as she walked away I sigh relieved that she’s gone.
The warm cocoa bean smell of the fresh ground coffee singes my nostrils as I lift the hot cup to my mouth to take a sip. I’d been waiting on Layla for thirty minutes and I was growing a little concern. Did she forget what time my appointment was over? Listening carefully I hear the automatic doors open and I lift my head expecting to hear her squeal
“Girl….I’m so sorry!! I got caught doing blah blah….”
Instead I hear the soft clicks of someone’s shoe. The hard footfalls let me know that it’s a man. I drop my head disappointed holding the cup in my lap. Listening the sounds grows closer and I frown as it becomes apparent that they are headed directly toward me. Before lifting my head his cologne overtakes me and I know who it is.
“John?”
“Hey, you ready?”
“Where’s Layla?”
“She got hung up at work and asked that I come get you”
“She did what!” I snap. How could Layla do this to me. She knows I don’t want to see him, she knows I don’t want to be alone with him.
He’s standing near me silently and I feel helpless. My eyes sting and I know that the urge to cry is growing strong. I hate feeling like this. I could deal with almost anything but this is just too much, and his wanting to help is making so much more painful. “I can take a cab….” I say shaking my head no.
“Now why would you do that when my car is parked right outside?”
“I don’t want to play this game with you John.”
“It’s just a ride Van, please…” he said reaching for my arm. Sighing I reach for my cane with my free hand.
“Let me help you” he says taking my coffee from my hands.
“Thank you…” I say weakly rising. “I’m really sorry she called you at work. She shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s okay….”
Popping out my cane I stretch it forward and hit the chair a couple of feet in front of me. He reaches to lead me but I shake him off. I don’t need his help, this much I can do on my own. Moving the cane from side to side I walk forward counting the steps. I memorize them each time I come and leave the clinic. He’s behind me and close. I know he’s watching me and it makes me nervous. I’ll show him I can take care of myself.
Hearing the glass automatic doors open upon my arrival I can’t help but smile to myself. I can make it on my own.
“My car is this way” he said slipping his hand in mine and I flinch from the contact.
“Okay…” I say reluctantly allowing him to take me in the direction of his car. The wind brushes my face and I feel the warmth of the sun. I hear a mother fussing at her toddler not to run in the parking lot and a car moving past slowly playing Maroone 5 out their window.
“So how is therapy?”
“Its going good” I say smiling. “Hey any word on Todd?”
“Nope, but Hugh isn’t giving up”
“You have to help him…” I say frowning up at the thought of him being lost and alone.
“There you go trying to help others again.”
Before I can say anything more he stops. “One second” he says and I hear his keyless remote unlock the door. Pulling open the car door for me I fold my cane back into the ruler size enclosure and stick it in my scoop bag.
Climbing inside the car isn’t as hard he thinks it will be and I manage to do it without his assistance. As soon as the door closes I’m greeted by the smells of fresh leather and stale coffee. Smiling to myself I remember that those smells are the ones that I have burned into my memory of him. He’s climbing in now and I look over or at least try too. “Thank you John, I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate your friendship.”
“Its more than friendship Vange” he says staring the car.
Turning my head I refuse to entertain the comment further and I know he’s waiting on my response. I reach for the seatbelt buckling myself in. “How are things with your father’s investigation?”
I can hear the frown in his voice “Who told you I was investigating my father’s death?”
“Christian, he said that Natalie was helping.”
“No she isn’t” he snaps and I look over confused.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“How about we not talk about that now, let’s talk about you”
“Me?”
“Yeah, what’s next? With your sight I mean.”
That’s the one question I didn’t know the answer too. “The doctors said that it could return at any time. The swelling around my optical nerves is gone and there is no damage to my cornea.”
“That’s great hun…” he said reaching and touching my hand.
Instinctively I look down at his touch as if I could see it as well as feel it. Pulling my hand from under his it rests on my thigh and he makes no move to remove it. Okay now I know he’s doing it on purpose. I close my knees to force him to move his hand and he squeezes my thigh before letting go.
We ride in silence for the next twenty minutes and soon things just don’t feel right. I mean we should be there by now. Frowning I try to gage the amount of time we’ve been on the road.. “Is there traffic?”
“No…”
“Are we on the expressway? You haven’t stopped for any lights.”
“Very good, yes we’re on the expressway.”
Turning my head I stare in darkness at him. “John what’s going on?”
“It’s a surprise”
“I don’t like surprises”
“You’ll like this one I promise.”
“Take me to my place!”
“Vange please….”
“NO! I mean it John!” I say and you can hear the fear in my voice.
I hear him suck in a deep breath and I know from memory he’s wearing a scowl. I also know he’s as stubborn as me and won’t follow my orders.
“You’re taking advantage of me….” I say feeling tears come down my cheeks.
“How could you say that?” he asked hurt
“I asked you to stay away!”
“Why!! Why is it okay for you to risk your life for every and anyone but no one is allowed to do the same for you. You won’t let Christian help, or Nora since she’s left the hospital. You only let Layla because she lives with you.”
“I don’t need anyone!”
“Bullshit! Everybody needs somebody!” he snaps at me and I flinch from the power behind his outburst.
“What do you want from me…”
“Don’t make me say it in the car, because I’ve waited an eternity to say it. Just ride and trust me. I’m not taking advantage of you Evangeline. I’m doing so much more than that.”
The sincerity of his voice rings through and I tilt my head back letting go my tears. I know he is watching me while I cry and the funny thing is I don’t care. This is the first time I’ve cried since I opened my eyes to the darkness. It feels good to cry. It helps.
Several minutes later I feel the car merging and I know we must be exiting from the way he’s slowing down. The car drives off the ramp and I’m jostled some in my seat. Clinching my fist I try to relax, I just want to get this over with. Tomorrow I will set up home visits. If Layla thinks it’s cute to play games with me like this because of my handicap then I won’t accept her help either.
I don’t need anybody. I’m strong. I’m Robert Williamson’s daughter and weakness is not in my makeup.
The car drives for several additional miles and just when I think I’m going to explode from the frustration of this kidnapping it comes to a stop. Lifting my head I turned in it in his direction. “Are we there?”
He touches my hand. “I had Bo give me the keys to the Buchanan cabin. I needed to be alone with you.”
“John why? Please don’t put us through this again.”
“Let’s make a deal. You hear me out and then if you still want to go back I will take you home and respect your wishes. But first you listen and I mean really listen”
“Fine” I say pulling my hand from his. “Let’s get this over with.”
I can hear the smile he’s wearing. It’s weird but to me it makes a sound just like his smoky laughter. His car door opens and I reach for my bag to dig out my cane. I hear my car door open and I put a foot outside of it to step out. He takes me hand and I allow it climbing out of the car.
“The first rule is you leave that.”
“What?” I ask frowning.
Reaching for my other hand he plies my fingers loose from the cane. “This”
“Absolutely not!”
“It’s non negotiable Van, I’m not doing it to cripple you. I’m doing it to get you to lean on me, just a little. I need you to feel that I can help you.”
“Why?”
“You’ll see” he says pulling me from the inside of the car door and slamming it shut. I can hear the chirping of wild birds and the soft swishing sound of wind blowing leaves. The smell of pinecone and freshly cut lawn engulfs me, giving me the imagery of my surroundings.
He slips his hand around my waist and hesitantly I slip mine around his. It’s the first time in close to a year that we’ve touched. “What are you hoping to prove John?”
“That we belong together”
“What?” I say shocked
“Watch you step, there are three in front of you”
I take the steps still frowning “We belong together?”
“That’s right” he said letting me go and heading to the door. I wait patiently and he comes back for my hand. We walk into the cabin and it smells of tobacco and spices. He leads me to the sofa and helps me sit.
Sighing I push the loose strands from my hair “Okay, lets get this over with.”
He’s standing in front of me and I can hear him pacing. “First I’m sorry for tricking you. I’ve tried everything Van and you wouldn’t see me”
“It was for the best”
“No it wasn’t, you needed me and I need to be needed by you.”
“Which is why we should stay away from each other”
“I don’t follow”
“We all know you rise to the occasion when pushed John. Especially when someone you care about is in trouble, I can’t be your next fix.”
“Is that what you think you are to me? Some quick fix for me to get my hero complex off on?”
I can hear the pain in the question and I regret hurting him. Wait, no I don’t. This man has caused me more pain than I’ve known in a life time. Screw his feelings. Hell I’m the one sitting here blind. “What is it you want?”
“You, I want you and not because you’re blind. Not because I need to rescue you, not for any of the things you tell yourself to keep me away.”
Here we go! It’s not my sixth sense that has me prepared for what I know he’s about to say. It’s just my damn insight into John McBain. Now and only now when I can’t see him and need him the most is he able to have clarity on his feelings. Give me a damn break!
“Evangeline, I love you…..I’ve always loved you and I’m so sorry that it took me so long to see it.”
Love? He loves me? Yeah right! It starts as soft giggles and it just grows into a mean laughter. I just can’t believe the nerve of him. This is just perfect. Exactly what am I to say to this pity fest..
“Did I say something to amuse you?” he asks with another hurt voice.
“As a matter of fact you did. Do you think that a confession of love in the fifth hour is something I want to hear?”
“I knew you would say that, which is why I brought you here, you see…”
“Enough!!!!” I scream at him, shocked by my own anger. “Why damn you! I can’t take it John I swear I can’t. You don’t know how to love anyone and I won’t let you use my blindness as some kind of way to reinsert yourself in my life. Now that we aren’t equals it works out perfect for you!
What is Natalie busy playing dress up in her cop uniform to be the one carrying the John is my hero torch!” I’m rambling and I know I’m hurting him but I can’t stop myself. I’ve waited so long to hear those words and this is how I get them. I knew he would do this. When he was at my bedside crying thinking I was sleep. I knew it. That’s why I tried to keep him away. I can’t let him fool me again. He won’t fool me again!
I feel a gust of wind come over me as he rushes me. He grabs my arms and I’m shocked “Would you stop it! Stop making this into something ugly! I love you”
“Let me go.” I shout at him and I’m crying from frustration. I can’t see and I’m trapped. “Let me go!!”
He pulls me from the couch and I struggle in his arms. “Let me go damn you!” I wheeze trying to fight him off, yet his grip is too strong. Twisting and screaming in his arms we go to the floor but he holds on even tighter. God help me but I feel so trapped!
“I love you…”
“I hate you…” I shout and I hope he hears me because I mean it. I do dammit!! No matter if my heart says otherwise. I hate him!! I have too, the alternative is to damn scary.
“I’m in love with you…”
“I don’t care!”
“I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you!”
“Let me go!!”
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you!”
“I swear to god if you don’t let me go I’ll scream!”
“We belong together!”
“Get off me!”
“Will you marry me!”
What? What the hell did he say? Wait, did he just ask me to marry him. No, that can’t be right. I stop twisting in his arms as a lump goes to my throat. I can’t breath and swallowing is something I’ve forgotten how to do.
This isn’t happening. Marriage? Did he bring me here to propose marriage?
“I didn’t want to do this like this, but you are so damn stubborn!” he grumbles as he pins me down from fleeing while struggling to retrieve something I don’t know. He doesn’t know that I’m so stunned that I can’t move.
“Evangeline Williamson, I love you” he says taking my hand. I feeling him prying my fist open straightening out my fingers. “You are my yesterday, today and tomorrow. I want to reclaim all that we’ve lost and I want to be there for you whenever you need me.”
Feeling something cold at the tip of my fingers it slides upward and I know it’s a ring. Now I really know he has lost his mind. This is just too damn much. “Are you crazy…”
I try to say but the soft pressure of his lips against mine silence me. He hold me tightly but turns me in his arms as he pushes his tongue in my mouth.
That’s right, he pushes his tongue into my mouth but I part my lips to receive him. The kiss consumes me and my resistance weakness because my body responds to him on instinct. I can help but enjoy the taste of him.
He eventually breaks the kiss and I feel his soft lips on my tear stained cheeks as his hand removes my shades. I don’t know if my eyes are open or closed. Soon he’s kissing my eyelids and I realize their closed.
“Oh my sweet sweet Evangeline, how I love you. It was always you don’t you know that.” he whispers between kisses and I close my fist running my thumb over the square cut solitaire of my ring. The ring is real. This is really happening.
The shock of his words and the feeling of being in his arms has me disoriented. Tilting my head back I try to move out of his feather light kisses that seem to be all over my face. But I feel his hand go to the back of my head to pull it forward. His fingers comb through her my hair and softly scratch my scalp. The sensation is heightened by the warmth of his breath on my neck as he lowers his face I know once again to kiss me.
“Stop this for god’s sake” I moan.
“I’ve missed you so much, I want you to be my wife”
“You don’t mean it” I say pushing against his chest.
“I do Evangeline this time you can believe in it.”
“I don’t trust you…”
“I’ll earn your trust…”
“Oh god this is crazy..”
“It’s right.”
“Let me show you” he says and I feel him scoop me up off the ground in his arms. Throwing my arm around his neck he carries me through the cabin and I don’t complain. I just run my thumb over my ring and let it happen. This time I let it happen and it feels like the first time in a long time that I’m free.
He lays me down on the soft pillowed cushion top of the bed and I can’t help but giggle and scoot back “Married John?” I say not knowing where he is, or where on earth he got such an crazy idea.
“Married…that’s right” he says and I feel him coming down on the bed next to me. Lying back on the pillow his hand lands lightly on my abdomen. I feel his fingers play with the hem of my shirt.”
“I admit that this proposal wasn’t the way I intended, but god woman you gave me no room to pull out a formal romantic one. I had to reach you and tell you my heart. To tell you what I’ve wanted since the moment they told me you were going to be okay.”
“To get married?”
“To make you mine. In every way.” he said kissing my lips softly and I melt as his hand goes under my shirt and rubs my belly. “I want to make love to you again”
I can say nothing, the mere idea of marriage is foreign to me, but his proposal is something I could never have imagined. His cool hand slides up my shirt and rubs my breast tenderly. The feeling is so erotic I gasp from his touch. He’s kissing inside of my neck and the wet slow feel of his tongue traveling under my chin has me tilting my head back instinctively wanting to feel more.
“Will you marry me?” he asks in a whisper.
“No…” I whisper back
“I thought you’d say that, which is why we stay here until I convince you otherwise.”
His hand lets go of my breasts and goes to the button of my jeans. They are undone and then the zipper comes down slowly. “I’m going to undress you now” he says in another passionate whisper and my silence his approval.
He pulls at the hem of my jeans and I make no move to help him as he works me free of them. As the peal off my feet I sigh shaking my head at my weakness. I mean I am human after all this man, well what can I say. This man does it for me.
You know what its like to have a man that just does it for you. No matter how bad he is for your soul you can’t deny the connection and that burning need that makes you give in when your mind is screaming no!
He’s lifting me up and pulling my shirt over my head. I can feel my hair fall back down around my shoulders and I smile as his fingers undo my bra.
“I have missed seeing your body” he whispers.
You damn right he has missed my body. Screwing that fat cow all these months had to provoke him to use his imagination to get through it. Stop it Evangeline! Stop it now, because if you think about him touching her, this whole the seduction is blown.
I try to refocus on his tongue that is playing lazily with my nipple as his hand is rubbing me between my legs. He has manly hands. You would think being a detective they would be smooth from know hard labor. But his fingers are thick and strong, when he lays them on you, you feel the power of his grip.
He pushes the lacy fabric of my panties aside sliding two of his fingers in me. That takes me by surprise and I cry out softly enjoying the pleasure of this touch. His tongue is traveling to my navel and he continues to make love to me with his hand.
I can’t see but it doesn’t matter, during invasions like these my eyes are squeezed shut anyway. I kick my legs slowly as his thumb massages my love button and the orgasm I crave grows near.
“I want to cum with you” he says and stops.
The disappointment makes me moan with frustration and if I could see I’d scratch his eyes out. I can hear him chuckling softly as he pulls off my panties. And I don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how much I wanted it.
Lying there for several minutes I know he’s undressing and I contemplate putting an end to it. I mean what am I doing really? But instinctively my thumb goes back to the solitaire on my finger and I smile. I mean diamonds are a girls best friend right?
He’s pulling down to the middle of the bed and parting my legs. I grab the sheets as I feel the warmth and comfort of his chest laying on mine. His tongue traces my lips catching me off guard and I open my mouth to receive him, but he moves out of my reach frustrating me. I know he teasing me and it pisses me off.
Then suddenly its in my mouth and the force of its entrance is delicious. It rolls and curls around my tongue as he rubs the tip of his penis at my opening. Lifting my hand I grip his hair with one and his butt with other trying to force him to enter.
He still wants to play though, and I swear I’m going to loose I soon. Kissing me so demandingly I can’t breathe he pushes the tip inside and I shake with excitement. Its width and perfect roundness is the key to paradise and as he slides all the way through, he takes me to heaven.
“Oh I’ve missed this” he moans through my kiss
“Me too…” I whisper wanting to feel him deeper inside of me.
“Will you marry me…” he says rotating his hips and biting my bottom lip.
“No…” I moan, throwing my hips back matching his rhythm.
He chuckles again and kissing my nose. His pace quickens and I have him all the way in. I can feel his balls hitting below me and we fit each other perfectly. God the things this man can do to you. How anyone could resist him is beyond me.
I feel him pulling me up into his lap as he sits back on his legs. He scoops me under my butt and directs my rise and fall on his manhood. Hold on to him I kiss his neck and take my tongue to his ear lobe, just the way he likes it. “Tell me you love me…” I whisper in his ear as he moans and grunts from circular rotation I’m doing with my hips.
“I love you….”
“Again…” I say pushing him over his edge
“I love you…”
“Again…” I say as the orgasm that slipped out of my grip earlier returns.
He can no longer take it and pulls me out of his lap. I’m stunned by the move but he rolls me to my stomach and takes me from the back. Burying my face in the sheets I smile as he releases us both and we climax in unison.
He’s lying on top of me and I feel him moving my hair from my neck. “I’m sorry baby, for failing you so miserably. I love you”
Turning my head I try to find my voice. I can barely speak. “I know John…I love you too”
He’s so excited he pulls out of me and turns me over. Kissing my lips I smile at his enthusiasm.
“Will you marry me?”
And there it is, the question of all questions and its my turn to give an answer. After everything it comes down to this moment. Could I? Should I? Hell after everything he put me through would I? Who was it that said Love is Blind?
Well whoever it was couldn’t have been blind like me. Because in the darkness I see the truth, this man is all I need. For me Love has given me my sight, and what a beautiful sight our love is.
“Yes, I will marry you” I say to his cheers.
And so it begins….