The insistent pounding on the door woke Evangeline Williamson from a much needed sleep. She hoped if she didn’t answer the door the person would go away, but that was not the case--the pounding seemed louder with every passing second. Evangeline hid her head under the pillow and screamed with all her might.
She threw the covers off in annoyance and glanced at the clock on her night stand; 12:42 blinked back at her in bold, red numbers. Evangeline groaned and dropped her head back into the pillow praying that whoever was at the door would go away before they made a sleep deprived woman mad. Apparently this person was not so smart.
“Dammit” Evangeline said out loud and jumped out of the bed when she remembered that Layla had stayed out late and maybe just maybe something had happened to her baby sister. Negative thoughts rained in her brain as the adrenaline started pumping, immediately releasing her from sleep’s hold.
She was in such a haste to get to the door that she forgot to pick up her robe. The knocking got louder and she shouted “I’m coming”. The knocking stopped, but an uneasy feeling still unsettled her. As she slowed her pace a fraction, she couldn’t understand why Layla didn’t us her key.
Reaching the door, Evangeline didn’t bother checking the peep hole like she normally would have. Putting in the security code, she opened the door with a flourish.
“Layla how many times did I tell you to-” she stopped in mid-sentence when she saw who it was. It wasn’t Layla but John McBain. It was than that she remembered that Layla was staying at a friend’s house and told her not to expect her that night or morning.
John’s mouth fell open once he saw her in her state of dress -- or rather undress. His eyes went down to her red painted toes, up her long, sculpted, toned calves, to her slender thighs. His cheeks reddened as his eyes reached the piece of material covering her crotch and climbed up her flat stomach to the matching bra.
Evangeline looked at John dumbly before she followed his gaze and realized what held his attention. Squeaking, Evangeline hid herself behind the door and her face got hot with embarrassment.
“What are you doing here John?” her voice was more embarrassed than anything else and she couldn’t quite meet his eyes.
John cleared his throat at her obvious embarrassment and tried to remember why he was at her front door rather than how good she looked. “I, ah, needed to talk to you.” He stuffed his free hand in his pocket; the other hand came in contact with a bag which he clutched.
“So you choose to do so at,” Evangeline crane her neck to look at the clock that was hidden by darkness. Not being able to make out the numbers, “it late John, go home.”
He leaned on the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. “I know it late and I’m sorry for coming over at such an hour but...”
“You can’t do this. You and I are not together...you can’t come over whenever you feel like it.” Evangeline said calmly, still hiding behind the door. She was tempted to slam the door in his face and go back to sleep but the obvious pain on his face kept her from doing so. When will she get this man out of her system? Despite the gruff look on his face, she couldn’t deny the instant attraction she felt towards him.
“That’s not what I’m doing,” John got off the wall and place his hand on the knob and saw how she back away from the door a fraction. “Are you going to let me in or are we going to argue about this so your sleeping neighbors can hear us?”
Evangeline titled her head at his tone and arched her back, peering at his form. “You mean if your banging on the door didn’t?”
“touché.” He replied, he ran his hand through his hair in useless anger, a tired look on his face. “let me in…please”
Mumbling under her breath the pos and cons of letting him in, she sighed when she came to a conclusion that probably wasn’t the best idea considering the last time. “Let me put some clothes on first.”
John waited outside while the door closed, he didn’t bother opening the door although he knew it was unlocked. He brushed a shaky hand though his hair and took deep, calming breaths. The only problem was it didn’t calm but excited him further as his mind went back to the information he’d found out earlier, not to mention the state he’d found Evangeline in.
He gulped, his memory going back to a few seconds ago and how she seemed to get even lovelier with time. His hands fisted in anger when his thoughts of her were replace with darker thoughts and he thumped the wall repeatedly.
“John! What are you doing?” Came her startled reply. “Are you crazy?” she asked, thinking to herself that sometimes she thought he was.
John whirled around to see the surprise look on Evangeline’s face mixed with worry. Instead of putting on a robe like he had suspected she would, all she did was put on a big t-shit…one that looked awfully familiar.
“Nothing...I” he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.
“Are you crazy?” she repeated. Evangeline went to him and looked at his knuckles which were turning red. Her eyes went to his for an answer but all she got was a bland look. Leading him into the apartment, Evangeline went to the kitchen to make him an ice pack.
When she came back, John accepted the ice pack from her and gingerly put it over his knuckles and sat down on her couch. “This hasn’t changed since the last time I was here” referring to her apartment.
“Ironically, that was also around this time, but many months ago.” Evangeline took a seat across from him and waited for him to start speaking. “What are you doing here John?” she asked when he seemed content to simply sit in silence.
John looked at his hand, “I told you, I needed to talk to you.” Under the guise of looking at his bruised hand, John checked out the long brown legs on open display before him. Her legs were crossed and even though he was in emotional overload his latent desire for her came back with a force.
She tucked her hair behind her ears, and looked around unsure. “Why? Why me? Out of all the people you could talk to, why come to me? Your ex-girlfriend.”
Her question jarred him from salivating at her exposed thighs. “No one has ever understood me like you do...”
Evangeline couldn’t help the softness that showed on her face or the torrent of warm gushy feeling that took hold of her. “Not even Michael, Antonio, Bo...Natalie?”
“Michael might understand but everyone else...” John shook his head no and got up to look outside her window. John deposited the ice pack on the window sill and peered outside.
“Not for their lack of trying I’m sure.” the small smile on her face shown in her voice.
John chuckled. “Yes, not for their lack of trying.” the darkness outside reminded him of a night that took place many years ago. His face got serious and he heard her shuffle around behind him.
“John, what’s wrong?” Evangeline couldn’t stand to see John in so much pain and not help but she wondered if she would be able to or if he would even let her.
John grew quiet and touched the window. It was cool to the touch. He felt her presence behind him like a rock, strong, dependable, forever. “I’ve gone back to church.”
“Okay that good...” she said confused. She was under the impression that John was going to spill his deep dark secret but he tells her this instead?
“I should have gone back to church years ago, but losing Caitlin made me lose faith in God and what He can do.”
Evangeline smiled although she was still very much confused. “That’s good John, so good”
“Who would have thought it would take something like me searching for my father killers to wake me up about God.”
“I’m really happy to hear that, believe me...but John what are you doing here? You could have told me this any time and why did you feel the need to tell me anyway?”
“Because I owe it to you” he turned around abruptly from the window and went back to the couch and put his face in hands. “I should have told you this months ago. Not just when I was here but when we were together, I should have trusted us enough.”
“You owe me nothing and I certainly don’t want you to telling me anything because you feel obligated to.” Evangeline put her hands on her hips. “You don’t owe me a damn thing John McBain,”
John came up to her and grabbed her shoulder in his hands. “I owe you everything. You are the reason that I had the strength to even start looking about what happened to my father all those years ago.”
The grip he had on her shoulder got harder but Evangeline said nothing. She reached out a hand and touched his chest. “Your father? Did you find something about your father’s murder John?”
John’s eyes went black with the mention of his father, his face closed off and hard to read. Evangeline called out his name several times before he came to. “I can’t do this,” he said walking away from her and toward the door.
“Are you doing this again? Interrupting my sleep, making me feel for you and than leaving like a coward?” he turned around in mid-stride with a grimace on his face. “I didn’t ask you to come here John, you chose to come here so don’t act like you did me any favors.”
“I want to tell you I just don’t know how.” His voice cracked at the end, his frustration at his lack of words tearing him up. He needed to tell Evangeline everything; the truth, the whole truth and nothing but.
Evangeline imagined this was how he must have looked when his father died, lost, helpless and hopeless. “You don’t have to tell me,” she whispered, “it not important anymore.” She could sense that John was in a fragile state.
“I…I,” he licked his lips and looked at the magazine on the table. “I want to...if I can just find the stupid words. That’s what it comes down to right? The words? Well what if I don’t have the words?”
She walked over to him and took his hand in her own. A flash of heat seared through her at the sight of those hands but she stamped it down. This was not the time to be ogling John and his hands. “Speak from the heart John and everything else will fall into place.
John stared deeply into her dark brown eyes and in their depth he found the solace he craved. He saw the family he always wanted but was too afraid to grasp. He gingerly brushed the back of his fingers against her check. “You really did save me.”
Evangeline eyes widen at his announcement. Those words never left her mind since the day he uttered them to her. “No, no I didn’t...” she said humbly.
“Yes you did.” His strong words made her look up into his smoldering blue eyes. “When I was with you I couldn’t appreciate what I had. It took you leaving me for the third and final time for me to realize.”
“I don’t know what to say...” his eyes were such an enigma to her. The way they could turn a different shade of blue left her wanting to figure out all the colors of John McBain. She yearned to know this man in a way another woman never had but she couldn’t do that unless he wanted to show her. After all it does take two to tango.
“That’s funny,” John smirk, his lips curling into a smile at the irony of her words.
She smiled back at him, finding his smile infectious. “Hey even lawyers get stumped for words sometimes.”
The easy atmosphere of what was once tense brought John to a lighter mood. His burden didn’t seem so heavy under her striking eyes and he noticed that her grip on his hand had become tighter.
Evangeline would never understand why she couldn’t resist John McBain. Even now as they gazed into each other eyes, she felt the overpowering emotion of love flood through her despite her best efforts to kill it. After all the time that passed, she still desperately wanted to help him and have him love her.
Breaking eye contact, John removed his hands form hers and shoved it though his hair. “I found who killed my father.” he said after moments passed with Evangeline looking at his back. His voice low and contained such malice that it cause shivers down her spine.
“What?” Evangeline gasp. “I wasn’t even aware that you had any leads.” she went over to lend a hand of comfort but he jerked away from her touch and the rejection hurt more than she wanted to admit. Still feeling hurt, “who did it?”
“It was two people actually. They both actively participated in killing my old man. He didn’t stand a chance between those two son of bitch” His jaw clenched with barbarous thoughts of how he would exact his revenge rained in his mind.
“How did you find out?” she ask the question softly not wanting to freak him out but wanting him to divulge more in hopes of freeing him.
“It’s actually thanks to Natalie.” John didn’t know what to do with himself but some how standing in the middle of the room made him feel like an idiot.
“Natalie?” Evangeline said incredulous. Her head spinning in ways that Natalie could be involved. She felt a pang -- no, more than a pang since it was Natalie that helped John and not her.
“I told her to stay out of it while I investigated my father’s murder but as usual she didn’t listen. And because she undermined me she nearly got raped and maybe killed.” He scrunched his face up at the memory, when he walked into the room and saw Natalie and what length she was willing to go for him.
“That girl will never learn,” Evangeline shook her head. “I told her that you had to find out by your self.”
“Well for once I’m glad she didn’t listen because it is thanks to her I now know who to shoot.”
“John,” Evangeline warned, “don’t do anything drastic...this isn’t worth losing your badge or your life over.”
“Not worth losing my job? This is my dad we are talking about!” John yelled. “David and Paige killed my father. Robbed my mom of her husband, Mikey and I of a father, those two needs to burn in hell and nothing the law can do will be strong enough.”
“Now you will go vigilante on us? And what good will that do for your mother? Michael? Wait a minute...did you say Paige and David? You don’t mean David Vickers and Bo’s Paige do you?”
“Yes I do. Apparently, David shot my father and he would have survived but Paige was drunk when she operated on him and he died thanks to her carelessness.” His jaw clenched and a vein throbbed at the base of his neck.
“John I’m so sorry.” This time when she reach out and engulfed him in a hug, he didn’t step back. In fact he did the opposite. He drew her closer and put his hand behind her head and let the anger, sorrow, pain overwhelm him in its velocity.
“I’m so sorry...” she whispered over and over as they hug, her arms like vices around him. She stroked the back of his head and back, whispering sweet nothings to him.
John didn’t know when the feel of her in his arms no longer seems to comfort but to arouse something else in him. Just holding her so close to his body dredged up feral feeling that he shouldn’t be feeling. His hands went to play with her locks of hair.
“I think I’m about to do something that I shouldn’t” he whispered into her hair, his breath on her neck raising goosebumps on her flesh.
Evangeline licked her lips nervously “so don’t do it.” she looked at the far wall and bit her bottom lip. She didn’t have to see John’s face to know what he was talking about.
“Why? When we both want it?” John asked his hands stroking her bare arm. His fingers drawing tiny circles on the surface.
“Because what might be good now may not be for the best later and I don’t want to be sorry for anything.” Evangeline, speaking with more willpower than she actually possessed, walked out of John’s arm and sat down on the couch, her hands under her legs. “We shouldn’t go down that road John. We are still the same and so is the situation.”
John took a deep breath to control his raging hormones. Finding the wall behind him comforting in a strange way, John closed his eyes. John knew if he kissed her than he would be doing them both a favor but he had to show Evangeline that it was more than sex. That it was always more than sex.
“Tell me about what you are going to do.” She nervously moved her body not able to stay sill. Being in John’s arms reminded her of the heaven she felt in them. How safe and how easy it was for her to lose control, to forget about the world.
“What can I do? David must have known I was on to him because the son of a bitch flew the coup. Paige being the blubbering idiot is protecting someone and she won’t talk.” John said angrily. It was funny how anger could completely consume him, making him see only red.
“You have to see past this John, past all this anger and hurt or you won’t be any good to anyone much less yourself.” she stood, walking over to him and grabbed his face, forcing him to open his eyes and look directly in her eyes, “do you hear me? Don’t do anything stupid.”
“I am incapable of doing anything stupid,” John quipped.
Evangeline’s mouth curved into an unexpected smile and she laughed at John throwing her words back in her face. “Clearly someone smart said those words.”
“And beautiful.” John grinned back at her, his smile widen even more at her bashful one. “Even now you are making me feel better, after all that I put you through.”
Evangeline’s hand dropped and her smile grew sadder. “It’s nothing.” She couldn’t help wanting to make John feel better, it was something innate. If he was hurting, she naturally wanted to help whether she could or not.
She attempted to walk away but John’s hand on her arms stop her. “No, its not. I never deserved you; you were just too good, too pure.”
She shook her head violently, her long hair whipping her in the face. “Your wrong. You more than deserved me... you just couldn’t see it.” her eyes grew moist and her airway got constricted. “Don’t you get it John? I was crazy about you and all...”
He pulled her to him and a heartbeat later with his eyes closed, his lips covered hers. The kiss was hard and hungry, his grip on her arm no different. His body grew hot and rigid as she responded, her lithe hands going into his hair. She closed her eyes not being able to keep them open as the strange“yet-familiar feeling took her in its warm embrace.
A low moan sounded in her throat and she rose on her tip-toes to prolong the feeling of excitement that coursed through her body. Evangeline felt like a virgin as all these sexual feeling felt new, like it was the first time. It’s been so long, she moaned deep in her throat. She yanked his hair in her hand, meshing their lips together.
Sensations assaulted her, feelings of love, want and insatiable passion. She would always want this man. She knew that and she no longer felt the need to hide it. It didn’t take much for her to come alive in his arms, just a look, and a touch here, a kiss there and she was nothing more than a mass of desire.
John groaned at her teeth nipping his bottom lip. John pulled her closer still and could have cried at the divine feel of her lips against his own. He parted the velvety softness of her lips with his tongue and delved into the moist sweetness.
Her body shivered as heat so pronounced and profound plagued her body. Her breasts grew heavy and the tingling down her spine increased. Her nipples puckered and hardened, the tightening in them drew the beginning signs of wetness between her thighs. She squirmed to get closer to him, her leg wrapping around one of his.
She didn’t care that she couldn’t breath properly with his lips fused to her own. Her hands roamed his back, clutching at his shirt at the painful yet pleasurable tightening of her stomach. She wrap her leg more securely around his own, her leg moving up and down.
“So sweet,” he moaned out before his tongue probed back into her mouth. One of his hands went to cradle her neck as he slanted his mouth on hers, the other finding purchase at her lower back. Nothing mattered to John more than the feel of her lush curves against his lean body and the taste of her.
For his effort John received series of moans from Evangeline, spurring him on. He pressed his erection to her abdomen and waited for her reaction. When she did nothing but grind her hips into his, John got dizzy with just the feel of her.
“Are you sure we should be doing this?” John questioned, his mouth kissing down her throat. The pulse there was beating errantly. He nibbled on her collarbone the taste of her skin intoxicating him.
Evangeline’s breath came out in fast, shallow pants. Her back arched as he leaned over her to nibble at a certain area. “Oh I don’t know,” her answer came out rush and barely audible but John was used to her talking this way. “I can’t deny that something happens to me when we are together.” Her eyes refused to open, as her heighten sense took this experience to another level.
John pulled away from her neck, to trace his thumb across her lips. “Me too, Counselor.” He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly; the edge of his thumb between their lips. He kissed the side of her face, forehead and tip of her nose, finally returning to her tantalizing lips. He circled her lips with his own until she parted them with a breathless sound. Then and only then did he delve deep in a provocative and expert manner that aroused them both even further.
The wetness between her thighs came to a point where it was unbearable. She shifted against him, rubbing her thighs together. Her stomach was wound too tight and she felt dizzy from his kisses. Opening her eyes, she met his darkened eyes almost to the point of being black.
Despite not wanting to be away from her, John released her from his hold, and stroke her face. “I know I’ve said this a thousand times to you but it bears repeating. You are so beautiful.”
She rewarded him with a small smile, the fact that he still found her beautiful giving her an inner glow. “You don’t have to say that John.”
“I’m not saying anything but the truth.” He raise her chin some more and kissed her lips softly. His lips gently pulling on her full bottom lip.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and licked his bottom lip and slowly she got to taste the uniqueness of John McBain. She took her time exploring his mouth, hitting those spots that she knew would have John quivering.
He dug his hands in the luxuriousness of her long black hair and than quickly took control of the kiss. The kiss was no longer nice and slow but demanding and insatiable. His hands roved along her curves, and smoothly touched her bare thighs. Going further up and caressing the back of her thighs, he gripped her backside in his large hands. Pulling out with searing yet small kisses, John hands went to the hem of her shirt.
In his magnificent blue eyes she saw the question and she answered by a simple nod. She lifted her hands, to help him take it off her. Seeing the heat intensify in his eyes, the promise of what was to come made her glad that she was wearing sexy underwear.
She chuckled inwardly at what John once told her. John had confided in her that he would find her sexy even if she wore dying grass. She had laughed than for the analogy was totally unromantic but the meaning behind it helped her fall in love with him even more. To hide her mirth, she lowered her long eyelashes and placed her arms around his neck, bringing them infinitely closer.
He kissed her lips innocently, afraid almost to increase the pressure for fear of all of this being a dream. She moaned and her arms tighten around his neck confirming that this was really happening and if they didn’t go to the bedroom now, he would end up taking her on the floor. Without a word, John took her in his arms and headed towards the bedroom.
“No.” Evangeline stopped him and at his questioning look, she continued, “make love to me in front of the fireplace.” She licked her bottom lip seductively, then placed a lingering kiss on his neck.
John gulped, his insides melting at her suggestion and even more at her suggestive manner. His arms trembled at the thought and his knees got weak. He held on by a thread to his hormones with self control he learned from Quantico. “That’s definitely something we can do.”
John walked the short distance to the fireplace. And with such care, he placed her before it .The light coming in from the window help him to see her but not to the extent he would have liked. Going over to the lamp, John turned it on bathing the immediate area in a soft romantic glow. There she laid on the plush carpet a picture of perfect beauty.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Evangeline asked him. The last thing she wanted John to do was to regret what they were about to do. To add her to a long list of guilty behaviors that he would carry around for the rest of his days.
“There isn’t anything else in the world I would rather be doing.” he smiled softly at her and bent down before her to brush his knuckles against the satiny rise of her breast not covered by the bra.
“Me too,” she whispered right before she put her hands on his shoulder and pulled him down to ravish his lips. Evangeline couldn’t hear anything above the thudding of her own heart and she gave herself over to the craziness of being with John after all this time. And just like that he was once again deeply in her system.
His awareness of her and how many clothes separated him from her was a painful reminder of his throbbing erection. Pulling away from her tempting kiss and hungry hands, John stood to remove his clothing. First came the jacket, which he shrugged off. Than he went to unbutton his dress shirt and the buttons took forever in their eyes.
Evangeline feasted her eyes on him, her eyes leaving no skin untouched. She lifted herself on her elbows for a better view and bit her lip when his shirt was gone. There was nothing but toned tan skin. It was easy for her natural programming to go haywire just looking at him.
Her back muscle was taut from her position and she felt a weakness invade her at the way his dazzling blues were staring so intently into her own. His bulging biceps with their tattoos drew her attention. Her eyes twinkled in remembrance of those solid arms wrapped around her, making her feel so utterly feminine.
On her knees she crawled her way to him and put her cheek on his firm stomach. Circling her arms around his stomach, she closed her eyes.
“Hey you okay?” John asked surprised by her behavior. She nodded yes and he caress her hair.
“I just needed to feel you,” she smiled up at him. Her hands went to his belt buckle “and beside you were going a little too slow for me,” unbuckling it, she pulled it from the loops. With nimble fingers she got his pants down and he obliging step out of them.
When her hands moved to take off his boxers, he stopped her, saying, “Not yet.” Joining her on his knees, John gently pushed her back onto the carpet. His palms on either side of her head, John bent his head and kissed her. A slow meeting of hearts, minds and souls kind of kiss.
Pulling apart and breathing heavily, a lone finger traced the lace edge of her bra. “I really like this color on you,” he muttered, fascinated in how her chest moved with every breath.
“Sea green?” she arch into his body with a shuddering breath and longed for him with a yearning so deep it wouldn’t let her go.
“It’s just another color to add to an already long list of colors I like you in best.” His finger went between the cups of her bra, down her flat stomach and stop at the edge of her panty.
Tiny delicious shivers descending on her making her arch into his hands. “I wasn’t aware you had a list,” she whispered back her soft hands caressing his massive biceps. She waited with bated breath for his finger to slip inside her panty but apparently he had another agenda.
He followed the soft line the lace made into her skin and bent down to kiss her ribcage. Smiling rakishly at her, John’s hands went to the front to unclasp her bra. Once she lifted her upper body, he helped her out of the offending piece of clothing.
The minute there was nothing hindering his view of her luscious breasts, his eyes zeroed down to the prominent thrust of her breast. John cupped and stroked one small yet full breast in his hands. His thumb gently rubbed over the straining crest, harden the peak even more.
“John,” Evangeline gasp as liquid heat snaked down to her pelvis and pooled there to form a knot of intense physical longing. Her moans got louder when he bent his hungry mouth over the awaiting nipple. She closed her eyes, what he was doing was too much for her, her hand going on his shoulder and digging her nail into them.
“I love the way you say my name...” his lips laved the softness of her breast and gently nipped at the tip. Her hand moved up to thread themselves in the luxurious darkness of his hair. He ran a possessive hand down to the other breast and squeezed with an alternate beat.
Her gasp of passion left John wanting to do more to please her. The heat between her thighs increasing with every touch from him, the ache that started off small grew and grew until she could think of nothing else. Pleas left her lips as she told him of her want for him and how she couldn’t take anymore.
“Patience is a virtue.” John told her. As his lips kissed his way down her stomach to only go back up her body. His lips went up to her throat, his teeth a bit on the rough side and tongue relentless on the tender skin.
She arched her neck and threw a leg over his thigh. “I’ve been waiting a long time.” she regretted saying those words the minute his lips stilled on her body.
John acted like he didn’t hear the slight undertone of her words. Gently putting her leg down, John lifted up her lower body by her butt to remove her underwear. The emotion he felt at seeing her naked for the first time in so long held him as if an iron fist were around his neck.
His breathing tripled at the sight of her, staring up at him waiting. Always waiting and he knew deep down he couldn’t ask her to do that for him but he wanted to. Badly.
He reverently touched her body as if for the last time because he knew it would be. His hands gently caressed her trembling body, finding pleasure points that had her straining. He went up her silken, toned thighs and nudged them apart.
Evangeline willingly parted her legs as deep in her core, desire took a dangerous pitch. She closed her eyes and her body tensed of its own volition, waiting for the first simple contact.
“Relax,” he breathed before he clamp his lips over the small nub of her breast, he sucked tenderly, one hand descending to where her wetness lay, waiting and ready. His finger coiled around the curls that protected her femininity.
With her eyes scrunched tight and her pelvis arched into his hand Evangeline let out a puff of air. “I can’t” she breath. The suckling of his mouth on her breast had her moans increasing and when his hand trace the tender fold she buck against his hand and let out a sharp scream.
His fingers grew more bold and unrelenting as he fondled her. She couldn’t stay still as waves of unchecked pleasure crashed though her system. The hunger came back, all of it with such vengeance it left her screaming his name.
John took her mouth in a searing kiss as his finger plunge inside her moist opening. He swallowed her cries and gave her back his own. She was tight and wet, and her inner wall clung to his fingers and he let out a groan. He rubbed and ground his fingers into her, her body arching up to meet his thrusting fingers.
She turned her head, no longer able to keep kissing him with the current rushing through her. Her hips moved side to side, her hair matted down to her head with the sweat she was exerting. Her arms went around his back, stroking and gripping the hard muscle.
John’s arousal got more painful and just from hearing her moan, feeling her body sheathing his fingers, he almost nearly came right there. But like he told Evangeline, patience was a virtue and all good things came to those who wait. He planted small kisses along her collarbone down her heaving breast meanwhile his thumb found her swollen clitoris.
He toyed with her melting body until need tore from her lips. He didn’t stop until she was near the edge, until she was right where he wanted her. His lips descended her smooth body to her belly, his tongue swirling lower still. Removing his fingers, she didn’t get a chance to miss the loss before his tongue was where his fingers once had been.
Her scream echoed in his ears, her mindless cries of agonizing lust. He felt her hips rise and fall in snapping spasms as his tongue and teeth drove her. She gripped his hair within her hands, urging him on. His expert mouth very slowly stroked over her hard, aroused nub, setting her nerves on fire with raw sexual pleasure. She came than, her orgasm smashing into her stealing her last breath, the first of many.
He brushed the center of her desire again, feeling her body tremble and hearing her passionate gasp. As her legs spread a little wider, he pressed his lips more tightly to her opening and slid his tongue deeper. She was simply awash with ecstasy as his tongue probed her mercilessly. He stroked her again and again, sending her ever higher.
The moment her eyes rolled into the back of her head, she cried out, her body bowing back like a tightly strung bow. Her entire body was seized by the force of another orgasm, stronger than the last, and her scream caught in her throat as blood pumped furiously throughout her body. When the spasm of climax finally released her, John slowly ebbed away from her, leaving tiny kisses on her thighs.
John kissed her cheek, and her eyes slowly opened. Wide, beautiful brown eyes that always saw the good in him, that only saw the best in him. She reached out a hand and stoke his face, her eyes soft.
“That was worth the wait.” she grinned and leaned forward to kiss his lips, tasting remnants of herself on his lips.
“That’s what I’m thinking too” he groaned out his hand cupping her neck, increasing the friction between them. She slipped her hand inside his boxers, easily finding his arousal. She touched him, her hand knowing exactly what to do.
John hissed between his teeth and fisted his hand in her hair. Her hands felt good on his aching erection and he closed his eyes and swore beneath his breath. He counted once he felt the pressure increase; he knew it wouldn’t be long, not when the visions of her naked played behind his eyeballs.
Stopping her hand, he moved her so she was firmly on her back. Renewed passion throbbed between her legs as he once again pursued her body. His touch sent shivers of need racing through her, his exhilarating blue eyes melting her heart and mind.
“You are all I ever wanted,” he whispered in her ear, tracing the rim of her ear with his lips.
Her eyes grew wet and wished he said those words at another time before he shattered her faith in him. “John I lo-” she never had a chance to finish her thought once his lips nibbled on the spot of her neck that drove her wild. She arched her neck to him, offering him everything she had.
He kissed down her neck to her chest until he found her pert little breast. His tongue swirling around each nipple until they were hard little peaks. Gripping her hips in his strong hands, he moved his mouth up her throat until his lips covered hers, one hand coming up to grip her head in his hand and slant her lips under his.
His tongue was pushing inside, touching hers, the heat and taste like nothing she has known before him and knew she would never know after. Her arms came around his neck, and pushed herself into him. Having him so close to her, so solid and all man when she never thought it would happen again gave her hope.
With sure hands, he tipped her up and plunged into the damp heat of her heated core with a harsh moan of unbridled lust. Heaven. That what it felt like to be in her. Her warmth all around him, her thighs around his hips meeting his every thrust.
“I think we should do this a little differently.” John told her, between groans. He pulled away from her embrace and touched her hip reassuring at her bewilderment. “Turn around,” he told her, his eyes bluer than she has seen them in a long time.
Evangeline mouth formed an o as her eyes widen but it was quickly replace with a smile of a temptress. Stretching, her toe tentatively went up his knee to his inner thigh. “And than what?”
John caught her foot before it could make contact with his erection. Going up her smooth leg, he cupped her mound and smirk at her unruly reaction. Lowering his upper body unto hers, John whispered in her ear, “bend over.”
Excitement made her breath come out in spurts and sent her heart on a wild beating course. “McBain” she said seconds later, her hands splayed on his back and getting lower. “I like the way you think.” she grabbed his butt and squeezed.
John groaned and kiss her lips, already swollen from his prior kisses. They pulled apart and John helped get Evangeline into position. Just seeing her rounded derrière in prime position took him to the edge of climax. Running his finger down her spine, he could feel her muscles quivering and hear her raspy breathing.
Getting a tight grip on her hips, he used his knee to parts her legs and with one hard thrust he sank inside her. His eyes rolled in the back of his head at the tightness and the new feeling this position gave him.
Her back arched as she moaned, her hips meeting his upward stroke. She clawed at her carpet since she didn’t have anything steady to grip. Thinking was a thing of the past, as John found that sweet spot that had her cooing and cawing. Her body tightened around his shaft.
Their screams mingled together as there hips become in sync. John’s thrusts picked up pace hoping for her to climax before he did. He pounds ruthless into her willing body to quicken her climax. John started thinking of David to cool his fast approaching climax but even that didn’t do much. He slid his hands around her body, to find the harden peak of her breast.
Her body yielded to his, bending to his will. His hands leaving her breast to trail between her legs and rub frantically at the center of her pleasure. She bucked against him and she pressed her eyes tightly together. Her cries grew louder and louder as she neared the edge.
His head began to swim with the incredible sensation, his hips plunge harder as he felt her tighten around him, her body freezing beneath him as she reached the pinnacle of orgasm. Thrusting harder, surging deeper, he buried his face in the crane of her neck and plunged in her.
He let out a growl of satisfaction as his orgasm spilled from him into her body, prolonging her orgasm. He continued to thrust into her, enjoying the feel of her. He enjoyed being with her period.
~ Next morning
John walked into the kitchen in search of his missing lady. He woke up and found nothing but air. After brushing his teeth with a brand new toothbrush and taking a quick shower, John found some of his clothes in a box mark John. She wasn’t hard to find. John smiled at the site of her in the kitchen, singing while cooking.
“Hey” he called out. Leaning against the wall. His eyes surveying her chirpy attitude this morning. She wore white bermuda shorts and a white v neck shirt.
She spun around with a spatula in one hand, her face dazed but obviously happy. Her smile broaden at the site of him, her heart doing a little jig in her chest. “Hey...did you find everything okay?”
John nodded, touching his wet strand of hair. “I wanted to wake up with you in my arms,” John admitted a shy smile on his face.
“Me too but when I woke up I had all of this energy and I couldn’t stay still.” she returned his smile and the easiness between them surprised her. Evangeline turned back to the stove after directing John to take a seat at the counter. After finishing the blueberry pancakes, she placed them on the counter along with the eggs, bacon, and grits.
“This smells delicious.” John said, stomach grumbling and mouth watering just from the smell. “You made all of my favorite breakfast foods,” John gave her a sweet smile and reach out a hand to stroke her hair. “Thank you.” truly touched that she went to this extreme for him.
“You’re welcome.” his eyes were enchanting reinforcing the magic she felt last night. Feeling compelled, she leaned forward and claimed a soft kiss. Moving away after stunning him with her smile, she took out two plates and put them on the counter and along with forks and knives. Taking the seat next to him, Evangeline said, “Dig in.”
John took a helping of everything with intent of taking seconds. The last time he had a breakfast this big was when Evangeline had surprise him. “This is even better than I remembered,” he moaned, the food just melting in his mouth.
Evangeline bit into the food and agreed it tasted good. They ate in silence with Evangeline sneaking sidelong glances at John. She couldn’t believe that this was real that she actually spent the night with John and that he was here with her now.
“I have something to confess,” Evangeline said after they were done eating, and the counter had been clean and all the pans along with plats, forks and knives had been loaded into the dishwasher.
“Oh yeah? This I gotta hear.” John turned on his chair to stare at her, his hand stoking the back of her hand.
“I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I can’t seem to stop smiling.” she admitted her lips even now curving into a hesitated smile.
John studied her face, his eyes taking in everything. “Good. You know your smile always made my day.”
She grinned at him and turned her head feeling a little foolish for giving her feelings away. She knew if John looked any longer in her eyes he would realize that nothing changed with her. That she was very much so in love with him with no hope of that changing.
“Do you know what today is?” John asked her after tuning her head with a hand to her chin.
“Day?” her eyes looked puzzled before her face grew somber. “June 9th. This was the day we broke up last year.” her voice got a little choked up and she swallowed down the pain. “I’m surprise you remember.”
John looked at her surprise. “How could I forget the day I lost you? For the third and final time.”
“I always thought we would get back together but I guess God had another plan in mind.” the smile that wouldn’t leave her face finally left and she stood up and hugged herself. Even though John was here with her it didn’t escape her that they still weren’t together despite last night.
John followed her and held her closely to his body, his arms going around her and holding on to her tightly. “You breaking up with me was one of the hardest thing for me to deal with. I didn’t know how to deal. For a minute there it was like losing Caitlin all over again but worse because you were close by just not in my reach.”
“I didn’t know you felt like that” she marveled. It felt good to know that John didn’t have a peachy time after their breakup. That he too went through some pain of no longer being together.
John pulled away so he could look at her face. “What did you think would happen after we broke up? That I would do a happy dance? “
“No,” she advert her eyes feeling guilty, “I…I…I don’t know John. After we broke up I was thinking irrationally about you...us. I started thinking that maybe you never felt anything for me after all...that you were just waiting for Natalie.”
John walked away angry. “Why would I wait for something I could have any time? I can’t believe you thought so little of my feeling for you.” he paced her floor and shot her angry looks.
“It not like you ever told me” she shot back at him, arms under her chest.
He stopped pacing and smiled ruefully. “It always goes back to that doesn’t it?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just...”
He held up a hand shushing you. “Don’t be sorry because I’m a jackass.”
“From your lips to God’s ear,” she joked.
John chuckled, “cute.”
She smiled back at him cheekily and titled her head in response. Her smile warmed his heart, gave him the courage to do something he dreaded. “There are so many things I should have told you,” he murmured staring into space.
Her smile fell and the reminder of how much she tried to get him to open up hurt her in a way that breathing was difficult. “It’s in the past now John, It no longer matters.” Her fingers itched to touch him in comfort, to put to rest his heavy burden.
John turned and gripped the back of the sofa, his knuckles turning white at the pressure. “You are too forgiving.” He responded a tiny smile on his face.
Evangeline shrugged, not thinking so. “You not telling me your inner feeling and secrets is not anything that needs forgiving.”
“Maybe so but I shouldn’t have let you wonder about Caitlin.” He turned fully around, flexing his fingers, their eyes clashing together.
She tensed with the mention of the dead woman’s name. Her eyes widen for there was only a handful of times that John willingly brought up the name of his dead fiancé. “I didn’t wonder,” the lie sounding false to her own ear.
John gave her a look of totally disbelief. “Okay… okay so maybe I did wonder…I’m only human.” She touched the top of her head nervously and laid a hand on her stomach to stop the butterflies.
“I’m sorry about that and everything else. When we were together I couldn’t get over how easy it was for me to stop thinking about Caitlin and since I didn’t understand I couldn’t tell you…” He moved around restlessly, the words refusing to come out. He moved his lips but no words came forth but his frustrated breath.
“It’s ok John,” when she realize what trouble he was having. “I understand.”
John shook his head no, refusing to take the road he usually traveled. “Caitlin was never an issue between us. She wasn’t what held me back.” The words came with some difficult but once said John felt like a piece of his burden was becoming undone.
“You don’t think I could have been with you all that time and not know that? I knew you loved Caitlin John but I also knew that she wasn’t what was keeping you from committing to me completely.”
“That was me,” regret was evident in his voice and in the way he wouldn’t meet her eyes. Once again his thoughts went back to how better she is now that he isn’t in her life. A small part of him, the insecure part wondered if she regretted asking him to go with her to Mary Barnes’s basement or better yet spontaneously kissing him just to prove a point.
“For the record, I don’t regret being with you John and I wouldn’t change a second of it if I could. You showed me so much and in the process I learned more about myself. I learned about what I want in life.”
John nodded, glad that she wouldn’t change what happened between them. “For the record,” he repeated, “ I don’t regret one moment spent with you...even when we were arguing.” He grinned at her, their loud, heated ‘discussions’ were well known to people in his building and the station. He sat down on the couch; just watching her brought a goofy smile to his face and an inner peace.
She laughed and sat next to him and put a hand on his thigh. “Yes, those were some of the best times...especially after.” she winked at him.
John laughed unexpectedly and put his hand over hers. “I have to tell you something.” he said after some time, when she was in his arms, though he hated breaking up the harmonious atmosphere.
Getting up from the couch, John went back to the window to look at perfect whether outside. “I’m leaving,” he said finally.
“What?” Evangeline said snapping back to attention. The easiness in her movement was gone to be replaced with confusion. “What did you just say?” her hand gripped the couch, and she hoped more than anything that she head wrong.
He took a deep breath, and willed himself to be strong enough to do this. He knew saying goodbye to her would be the hardest. “I’m leaving Llanview.” He repeated his words strong but inside he was anything but.
Flabbergasted her body went numb as she processed his words. The bombshell he just revealed left her emotions in disarray. “I don’t understand.” she said at last, falling onto the couch.
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. Ever since we broke up things have been downhill for me. I recognize myself even less now.” John turned around to find Evangeline on the couch and even though he longed to comfort her he knew he couldn’t. If he saw her face, held her in his arms he might change his mind and instead offer her the moon.
“So a few bad things happen and you are running scared?” her voice sounded small to him and he knew that once again he was hurting her. He never meant to but that was always the end result.
“More than a few bad things happened.” He pointed out, his mind going back to the past year. “I always prided myself on being honorable and I wasn’t. Not with you, Natalie, and everyone else that I care about.”
“What about your father’s killers?” She reminded him, hoping that by doing so he would stay. She knew it was a low blow but she couldn’t stand the thought of him being so far. Of never again seeing his face, smile or hear his laughter.
“I can’t think about them or I might do something dangerously stupid.” He walked away from the window and sat next to her and took her resisting hands in his own. “I need you to understand. I couldn’t leave without seeing you one last time.”
She licked her lips and tired to understand although she felt like he was abandoning her. “Where would you go? What would you do?”
He gave her a small smile of thanks for trying. “I don’t know, anyplace in the US is fair game. As for your second question, I can always be part of the police department wherever I go or go back to the FBI but I’m really feeling bartending.” His lips curled into an unsure smile, hoping to coax a positive response out of her.
The edge of her lips curve. “You would make a nice bartender.” she said offering support.
John framed her face in between his warm hands, the pad of his finger doing little circles on her cheekbone, “I’m going to miss you, counselor.” he kissed her forehead. Their forehead touch, and he closed his eyes, willing back tears.
Her eyes got misty, and her heart squeezed painfully in her chest. She was going to lose John all over again. “When do you leave?” she was scared to ask because than she was accepting that he was leaving.
“Later on today,” he leaned away from her and watched as her face went through several level of shock.
“What? Today? As in June 9th?” the gall of that man she though to be leaving today.
John nodded, affirming it. “I traded in my car for a motorcycle and 8'o clock tonight I’m hitting the open road.
“That can’t be very safe John.” she said worried about the dangers out there. Not to mention the dangers that can befall a person on a motorcycle.
“I can take care of myself.” he kissed the tip of her nose, memorizing her features although he knew he could never forget them even if he wanted to. She was too much in grained into every fiber of his being.
“Have you said goodbye to any one yet? Or are you springing this on everybody else as well?” her eyes wrinkle at the funny thought of John going door to door.
He let go of her face, and sat back, the soft cushion of the couch relaxing. He lace his hands together over his chest. “I’ve already told Mikey, he didn’t like it but he knew it was time for me to do what is best for me. Bo knows since I gave him my two weeks notice and every one else….” John shrugged.
“Your not even going to tell Natalie?” Evangeline didn’t like to think of their relationship but John owed her a good bye.
“I’m giving her a call when I check out. I know if I see her, she is going to be crying and begging me to stay and I don’t want to deal with that right now.” he closed his eyes and laid his head back. His hands went in his pocket touching the bag that was in there.
“Don’t worry about the clothes from last night, I’ll have them dry cleaned and...”
“It doesn’t matter. I won’t be wearing it where I’m headed and beside I got what I need from them,” he patted his pocket where his gift to her lay sung and tight. John pulled her to him, and she straddled his thighs. John groaned at the feeling of her sex over his now half hard penis.
She put her elbows on his shoulder, felt him grow beneath and the wanton part of her loved that all she had be was near him like this and he was already hard. She shamelessly rocked against him and nibbled on his neck, his groan testament of how much he wanted her.
He took hold of her waist and held on for dear life before stilling her moving hips. As much as he loved being with her there was something more he wanted to do. “I just want to hold you.” He told her, her surprised look didn’t go unnoticed by John.
Evangeline bit back tears and nodded her head. She could deal with passion; to them it was like breathing but this she couldn’t handle. She didn’t know how to say goodbye to someone you love more than life itself. She wrapped her arms around him and put her head between his neck and shoulder.
John rubbed her back as she shuddered, and he heard sniffing sounds. He blinked back tears, leaving her was the hardest thing he had to do. He kissed her bare shoulder, and he ran his hand soothingly up her thigh.
“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” she got off him, and stretched her long legs. “Do you want your box of clothes I never got around to burning?”
John smirked. “No anything I need I’ll buy on the road.” John followed suit, and he just stood around in her living room staring aimlessly. “We really have gone full circle haven’t we?”
Evangeline titled her head and nodded. “Yes we have.” she smiled sadly, running her hand through her ponytail. “Life is funny like that.”
“I better go...I have a few things to do before I head back to the hotel.”
Evangeline nodded, her throat too tight to speak. She walked him over to the door with their hands lace together. Her hand was tight around his, dreading the moment when he would be out the door, thus out of her life.
John let go of her hand to open the door, his other hand in his pocket fingering the bag. He couldn’t give to her. It would hurt her even more plus he lost any courage he had. He shook his head at the through and brought her hand to his lips.
She turned her head with the closing of the door, putting her fist against her mouth to choke back the sob of anguish building inside her. It was than that she realized, she couldn’t let John leave without him knowing how she felt...how she would always feel.
She flung the door opened and called out his name just as he was stepping into the elevator. He step out of the elevator a questioningly look on his face. She raced to him and John obediently waited for her to catch up to him, with a patient look on his face.
“Evangeline what are you-” A finger to the lips stopped his question and he kept his mouth shut once she removed her finger.
“I love you,” she said wringing her hands together, not positive this was the best idea. “I never stopped loving you, even when you got together with Natalie and after everything that happened with Chris. I love you.” she said again.
John grabbed her to him, hugging her slender form in his arms, breathing in the lilac scent of her hair. Relief that she still loved him made it easier to breath and put his mind at ease.
“I don’t want you to go. I want you here with me.” Evangeline cried, blinking away the tears that threaten to fall. “But I know you have to go but I can’t help but want you to stay.”
“I’m not good to you like this. I’m all messed up from this past year and everything else. I can’t give you what you deserve. You deserve more than what I’m capable of right now.” He reiterated what they both knew. That no matter how much he or Evangeline wanted him to stay, he just couldn’t
“Than I’ll wait.” she said determined. A look coming over her face that John has seen many times when she is fighting for lost cause. Her face told him that no matter how much he protested against the idea she would do it.
John pulled away slightly in order for him to have a better look at her face. “I don’t want you to do that. I could be gone months...years.” Even as he spoke those words a light beamed inside of him even more so than her declaration of love.
“I don’t care.” she took hold of his hands and held on tightly, “I meant what I said to you all those months back, all I need to know is that there is a chance-”
“There is a chance. More than a chance,” John interjected quickly. His hands shook in her grasp at the level of commitment she was offering him without a word from him.
She smiled and suddenly she knew this was going to be the best decision of her life. “Just to know that there is one and I’ll stick with you forever...”
He kissed her then, gently first but passionately a moment later, tasting her fully. His lips prying hers apart to satiate this raging need he had for her. They pulled apart, gasping as they fought for breath.
“I have something for you,” he made a spilt second decision that he would in fact give it to her now that there was no need not to give it to her. He reached into his pocket and handed her a small bag. “Open it when I leave,” he told her before she could peer inside the bag.
“What is it?” she asked with a nervous curiosity but she soon didn’t care as he once again claimed her lips. He kissed her with building passion knowing that this would be the last and would have to tide him over. She made that soft moaning sound in the back of her throat that he enjoyed hearing, and usually did everything in his power to hear.
Regretfully, his lips brushed hers as he spoke, he said, “I have to go,”
“I know,” her lips clung to his and with a small kiss, she finally broke away and took a step back. “Be safe.”
John nodded, reaching out his hand to stroke her cheek. “Always.” The sadness of leaving her didn’t take away the happiness he had at the thought of coming home to her. Knowing that once he was ok, she would be here, waiting for him.
Evangeline watched as John pressed the “down” button and her heart sped up. “Lieutenant,” she called out.
John turned back around and put his foot out when the elevator made the ding sound and the door opened. Evangeline took three steps forward, placing herself once again in his personal space. “Thanks for another unexpected evening,”
He removed his foot and the door closed. He took her into his arms and kissed her cheek, tears prickling at the back of his eyes. His heart already breaking to be away from her and he knew that nothing short of being with her would rectify it. Softly, he bent his head and kissed her.
Evangeline’s eyes closed and she wrapped her arms around his neck. This was it, she thought, her throat closing. John’s were tight around her waist and the kissed took on a bittersweet feeling to it. A tear fell out of his eye to land on her cheek.
“This isn’t goodbye,” he told her, his nose in her hair, breathing in her fresh flowery scent.
“I know,” she told him, gripping the bag in her hand hard. She reached out to touch the tear that was not her own.
One more hug and a peck to his cheek, she turned around and walked back to her door. She knew if she saw him step on the elevator she would beg him to stay and just as deeply as she knew this, she knew John had to go. He had to find himself before they could be together.
The elevator door close and holding back a sob, she walked inside closing the door behind her. The door closed with a loud bang. She slid against the door until she was on the floor, tears falling free. She released the bag and instead hit the floor with her open palm.
“Damnit,” she cursed, her grief so strong she couldn’t see past it. In less than 24 hours, she had regained John and just like that he was gone again. It didn’t matter that they would be together when he came back all that mattered in that moment was the pain in her heart. “Damnit, John McBain. You’re the only man that I want.” She cursed him and herself for not being able to get over him.
She kicked her foot out in a childish manner. Her foot made contact with the bag and she looked up at the small white plastic bag with a lousy tied bow keeping it shut. She reached for it and with the other hand, wiped at her tear stained face.
She pulled the bow and the bag opened, putting her hand inside she easily made contact with something round and small. Taking it out she froze at what she saw. Her pearls.
“Oh my gosh,” she breath as she lovingly held them in her grasp. Tears once again filling her eyelids but this time not out of despair but love.
Around the string of pearls was a piece of paper that he taped to it. Taking it from it, she noticed his handwriting and she ached to see him. To thank him, hold him, love him.
Straightening out the piece of paper, she read it out loud,
You once told me that I should give this to someone I love which I than replied I gave it to you.
She had to stop reading as the tears were getting in the way. She fingered her pearls glad to have them back where they belong. Composing herself, she continued to read.
So let these pearls signify what I could never say but mean to the depth of my soul.
She laughed. Happy, delirious laughed that lightened her heart and put a spring to her step once she stood up to walk to the mirror. With her pearls in one hand the small paper in the other, she did something she didn’t think she would be able to so soon, she smiled.
Reading the paper one more time, his words were blotchy from her tears but she still got every word. Putting it on the table, she took the pearls and placed them on her neck.
Looking at her reflection in the mirror she had a sense of rightness. All was right in her world. Caressing the pearls adoringly, she replied, “I love you too.”
Okay ladies…you can let the tears flow now…. :D
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