Jingling her keys as she placed them in her purse nervously. She sat by his side for six months and took all kinds of shit form Natalie about how she and John never belonged together, and how he never loved her and he never would. She knew it wasn’t true she knew in her heart he did love her, but it just wasn’t there time.
“Hi” she said with a ridiculous cheerfulness. Her cheeks frozen a she held that stupid smile on her face just from hearing the voice again.
“John” Evangeline said as she pulled back the curtain. Her breath was immediately snatch from her lungs as Evangeline covered her mouth so tightly from shock as she tried not to choke on the tears that were threatening to pour out from her soul over seeing his pain that laid on nearly half his massive back. John sat with his back and his gown partially open to her not knowing that Evangeline could see the chard flesh on his shoulders. Part of his reasoning for keeping is back to her was so Evangeline didn’t have to see his “disfigurement.” His flawless and proud Irishman’s tan that he wore was now like a bad case of ambrosia acne. Yes, he was being vain but he knew that he was a good looking gentleman and now he felt hideous and an ashamed of his appearance. As he laid in that bed for a week he thought it was his creators way of punishing him for his miss deeds and because he had thrown away his life with her.
He felt like he belonged on the Rocky Horror picture show or better yet like the creator Pizza the hut from that movie Space Balls. He didn’t want to see her first reaction, because he feared Evangeline would pity him and he didn‘t want anyone’s pity. He wanted to talk to her and tell her about his facial flaws before Evangeline saw him. Evangeline, stood there in silence in a state of shock and her heart broke in two when she saw the scaring on his flesh, not because she pity him or that it scared her, it was because she could only imagine the type of pain that he must have had to endure just to survive.
All Evangeline wanted to do in that moment was trade places with him or at the very least carry half of his pain so that he didn’t have to endure it alone. After all this man is the love of her life, it’s taken her three years for her to understand this, and 5 months for her to comprehend what a huge mistake it was for her to have given up on him in the first place. Evangeline thought day in and night about this one question in particular; once she thought he was dead. “Why would I ask him to fight for us when I stopped fighting myself and let Natalie a child win? Especially, after he relentlessly told and begged her to just hang in their with him.” She thought to herself.
“When had Evangeline become a quitter? Would her father be ashamed of her actions, and for given up so easily? Why had she given up so easily? She wasn’t the type of person to given and be defeat by anyone without putting up one helluva fight first? Why did he give up so easily and why didn’t he fight for them?” These were the questions that haunted her day in and out and Evangeline need answers. During those months after finding out John was a live and in a coma Evangeline went on a soul seeking journey to find these answers. Evangeline started battling the demons that she kept at bay during their relationship and the one that she had with Chris. So many why’s to answer? As Evangeline answered each question one by one; she began to have life changing experiences as she truly and desperately sought there meaning. John Patrick McBain was her life partner. Evangeline had no doubts about that now, and Evangeline needed him to know that she could accept his way of “actions speak louder then words” type behavior if he could only answer one question for her…(no it wasn’t why her and not me…and not coffee or tea…lol)
She sucked in a deep breath, and with wobbly legs Evangeline started to walk towards him as she wrung her hands as she tried to reach out to touch him. “John” Evangeline confirmed with a firm voice trying not sound worried, because he still hadn’t said anything to her. He heard the click of her heels on the cold cement floor, “Don’t come over here! I don’t want you to see me like this not yet!” he demanded startling her and stopping her in her tracks.
“Why? Why can’t I see you John?” Evangeline asked definitely. His bearish tone of voice that he used with her only served one purpose; his and it pissed her off. She wasn’t going to let him retreat and isolate himself out of fear.
Taking another step towards him he turned slightly from her, “Don’t Evangeline!” he snapped at her again. Out of all the time they had been together he had never yelled at her in such away.
“John Patrick McBain, don’t you ever in this life time yell at me like that again or your going to find yourself in another kind of pain that I’m going to personally administer to you.” That being said for every word that Evangeline used she took another step closer towards him giving her the courage that she needed to finally defy him. If he wanted a fight she was going to give him one helluva of fight.
“I’m sorry Evangeline…I …I .” he said dropping his head in he fear as he tried not to look at her face. His first tear drop and quickly evaporated as it rolled down his cheek. He didn’t want to push her away and couldn’t understand why he was doing so. All week had been waiting for her arrival so that he could see and profess his undying love to her., but today when the nurse told him that Evangeline was on her way up to his room fear struck him a deep and harsh blow.
She was standing directly in front of him as he hung his head. He couldn’t stand her being so close and not touch her. Without lifting his head he slowly snaked his hands around her waist tightly as he held on to her for dear life pulling her body closer to him. All the warmth, peace, admiration, lust, jubilation of happiness, and love overwhelmed both of their senses. All Evangeline wanted to do was hold onto him for the rest of her life as she cradle his head in her bosom while running her fingers through his semi-tangled locks of hair.
She closed her eyes and allowed herself feel the comfort of being in his hands again. Wrapped up in her arms he feel all the love that Evangeline still carried for him and felt it in her words even as Evangeline yelled at him. This gave him all the courage he needed to show him his scared face. “I love you, Eva.” he mumbled in a whisper as he slowly lifted his head to look her in the eyes timidly. Evangeline looked into his deep sapphire blue eyes as he slowly showed her his face. Sure his face was scared with a third degree burns and he didn’t have his fully well groomed grown in goatee, but he still looked like her John in her eyes. Evangeline still couldn’t get over the fact that he was so handsome.
“What?” she asked unsure of what he just said. He looked her eyes intently and saw nothing but love there he finally understood she didn’t see his scares that she could never look at him as a disfigured freak but as a man that she loved.
For the first time since he had awakened in pain he let go of his tears willingly. “I love you, Evangeline with all my heart and soul. You are my Ebony Princess, angel. ” he professed aloud and clear this time without any hesitation.
“Stop, don’t do this John. Let me go and get a nurse there must be something wrong with you. I’ll be right back.” She said trying to push out of his grip that he had around her waist.
Shaking his head feverishly he held on her even tighter. “Evangeline, baby there is nothing wrong with me. Just give me a chance to explain please.”
“John, how can you say that you love me when your engaged to Natalie? I’m sorry but I just don‘t believe you. I mean damn it John you were reported driving like a bat out of hell to get back here to Llann View to ask her to marry you.” She had waited damn near three years for him to say those words to her, and here he was saying every thing that she already knew and what him to say but this just wasn’t the way she wanted to hear it.
“Wait what?” John said baffled.
“You heard what I said John. Because I know that I didn’t stutter.” she said with as much attitude as she could mustier as she pulled away from him.
“I don’t understand? Why are you saying that I’m engaged to Natalie? I never asked her to marry me.” John stated frustrated at the scenario that was playing out in front of him.
“That’s because when you died your mother basically told everyone in this damn town that you called her and asked her for your grandmothers ring so you could ask Natalie to marry her….” but before she could finish her ranting he interjected.
“I know that must have hurt you more then anything in this world, but you of all people knew me Eva better then I knew myself. I’ll admit I did call my mother and ask her for that ring but I never said any damn thing about marrying Natalie. She’s the one that took the liberty of telling Natalie that I wanted to marry her and as far as I’m concerned she’s the one that is engaged to her not me. And I promise that she will never in this life time or the next for as long as you love me let her or anyone else to become a problem for us, I swear to you Evangeline.” Grabbing her hand and holding it tightly to his chest directly on his heart he began to tell her everything about how he talked to his father and at first he did think about his real feelings about Natalie. But as he drove home he realized two things 1) That he never stopped loving her and could never stopped. 2) He realized that he couldn’t live without her being his wife and life partner.
She tried to listen and reach for the truth in his eyes as he poured out his soul to her, but she was determined not to make this easy for him at all. She wasn’t just going to jump right back were they left off.
“John, I love you. This you already know and I won’t be sucked in by your words John. I’m sorry John.”
“Damn it Evangeline, don’t you think I know I badly I fucked this one up between the both of us.” He snapped at her.
“Fuck you John! And don’t you dare take that tone of voice with me! Who the hell do you think you are?” she said yelling back at him. At that moment she knew that even though she loved him with her in entire heart there was no way that she was going to just give in to his near death realization confession just like that. If he truly loved her she was going to make him say it and prove it everyday.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice to you like that. Please don’t dare leave.“ John state definitively. “It’s just that…” He tried to reach for her as he watched her taking steps towards the door. Only for her to pull away from. “I love you Evangeline and I’ll be damn if I let you go that easily again.“ Her reaction to his touch pained his heart deeply and he knew that he would gladly spend the rest of his life proving to her how much that he loved her.
“I know that I have a lot of begging and groveling to do in order to make things right between us. I don’t care if it takes me the rest of my life proving to you that I my heart belongs to you and only you, angel. I’m just asking that you give me a chance. Can you do that?”
“John…I…I”
To be continued…..
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