Evangeline’s POV~
I sit on my bed with my legs against my chest and my head buried in them. I hear footsteps coming towards me and then the bed move as he sits down next to me. I feel him run his hands through my hair and I’m so glad that he is here with me. I wouldn’t want to go through this with anyone. I hate that I am putting him through this. “Baby are you okay?” He whispers into my ear.
I want to scream hell no I’m not okay! Damn it I can’t give him what he wants, what I want! I shake my head as the tears start slowly fall down my cheeks. I’ve cried so much in the past couple of hours one would think that I should be all cried out right now, but I’m not. “I brought you some tea.”
“No thank you.” I whisper and pull my legs closer to me chest and try to steady my breathing.
“Look at me.” He says softly and tries to pull my hands away from my face. “Evangeline!”
“What!” I scream at him as I look straight at him. His eyes are red and puffy and his hair is a mess all over his face and head. I feel so bad now, I’ve been so selfish this was his chance too. I watch as a tear rolls down his cheek and I throw my arms around his neck and we both cry hard.
I feel him run his hands down my hair and back as he squeezes me tightly. I’ve never seen him cry like this before and my heart breaks a little more. “I’m sorry….” I whisper as he holds me tighter and I hold him tighter as well.
He pulls back from the embrace and I move his hair out of his face and he does the same for me. “Please don’t be sorry, I can’t stand to know that you think this is you’re fault because it isn’t. It just isn’t our time.” He says caressing my face.
He kisses me on the forehead and I rest my head against his chest.
Alexa’s POV~
I walk into the house and there are boxes all over the house. Stopping in the living room I hear my mom on the phone yelling at someone. I walk into the kitchen in time to see her slam the phone down and put her head in her hands leaning over the island, “What’s going on?” I ask standing at the door way.
“Alexa when did you get home?”
“Just now, what’s going on mom?”
“Go up stairs and pack your stuff.” She says staring at me. Her eyes are red and puffy and her hair is over her head.
“What!” I scream.
She shakes her head and runs a hand through her hair, “NO! I’m not doing this now with you!”
“But Mom!”
“Alexandria Marie Armstrong, I told you to do something now do it!” she screams at me.
“I don’t understand what is going on?”
“Go up stairs and pack. I left some boxes up there to put your stuff in.”
“Where are we going?”
“Alexa now!” she screams at me. I run up the back stairs to my bedroom and slam the door. I scream out loud at her insistence that we move again! We’ve been here in Texas for two years and I love it here. I’ve made some amazing friends and now we have to leave.
I reach in my pocket and call Jake, “Hey baby.” He says in that sexy voice.
“Hey.” I say sadly.
“What’s going on?”
“Can you come and get me?”
“What’s going on Alexa?”
“Please Jake, just come and get me.”
“Where you at?”
“Meet me at the park okay?”
“When?”
“Twenty?”
“Okay.”
“Thanks….” I say sitting down on the bed.
“No problem, see you in twenty.”
I snap my cell phone shut and stare at myself in the mirror. I finger the picture attached to my mirror of Jake and I at prom this past year. This was going to be our summer! Now the bitch is ruining it! I hate her so much. Jake is going away to school in the fall and we were going to spend the entire summer together before he left me. Now she wants to move and I won’t get to stay here with him.
I change out of my school uniform and slip on a pair of hip hugger jeans and a spaghetti string pink top. Slipping on my tennis shoes I put my phone in my pocket and climb out the window. I climb out on top of the tree and grab a hold of the branch, swing back and forth and then let go. Landing on my feet I look around and make sure my mom didn’t see me. I run down the street towards the park that’s near my house.
I sit on the swing, going back and forth as the sun beats down on my face. I watch as Jake pulls up in his 2006 fire red Mustang. His black hair and blue eyes focus in on me and I grin as he strolls over to me. “Hey baby.” He says with his arms extend. I jump up and run to him throwing my arms around his neck. He kisses my neck and cheek over and over again and I start to cry. “I can’t leave you.” I cry into the crick of his neck.
Evangeline’s POV~
I feel John’s arms wrapped around my waist and the sound of his breath in my ear. We both fell asleep after another heart breaking afternoon. I slowly remove his arms from around me and he rolls over still asleep. I place my feet on the edge of the bed and bend over putting my head down. I start to cry again this time silent tears so I don’t wake John.
I stand up and take a deep breath and run my hands through my hair. I walk towards the bathroom and splash water on my face. Wiping my face on the towel I’m a little relieved that John is still asleep. I love the man and all, but right now I need to be myself.
I walk towards the spare room that would have been the babies’ room and I stare at the crib and the rocking chair in the corner of the room. Placing my hand on my stomach I didn’t think I could survive losing another child. After John and I had been married for a few months we both agreed to start trying to have a family. I went to my OBGYN and she ran some tests and determined that my eggs were viable but it might take a while for me to get pregnant.
John and I talked for a few months and tried for those months and finally decided to try invitro “fertilization. Can I just say that those damn hormone shots were the worst thing ever. I can laugh now, only because I know I don’t have to take them for a while and the fact I think John loved doing it. Sticking a needle in his wife’s butt every morning was a trip for him. He may have said otherwise, but I could tell he was smiling as he did it.
I rub my stomach and walk over to the rocking chair, as I sit down I stare out the window as the sun shines through it lighting up the whole room. I swear I can hear the sound of a baby giggling behind me and it takes all of my strength not to turn around. Instead I start crying again. This was supposed to be our time to become parents, our time to start a family and share our love with a little person.
I scream out in pain and desperation and collapse to the ground beating the ground with my fists. I’m screaming so loud and hard that I didn’t even hear John come into the room until I feel my body leave the floor. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on to him tightly as I cry for the child that I should be carrying right now. I cry for another missed opportunity to hold our child in my arms and try and see what physical features he or she has of John and me.
John lowers me to the bed and then lays down next to me. He pulls me onto his chest and I can’t stop crying, I don’t think I will ever be able to stop crying.
Alexa’s POV~
Jake and I sit in his car on the edge of Look out Point holding hands. I can feel his thumb rubbing lightly over the back of mine and he turns to look at me, “Talk to me baby.” He says pulling at my hand.
I stare out the windshield and try to hold back the tears that are burning at the corner of my eyes, “I’m moving.” I say lowering my head.
He drops my hand and turns me around to look at him, “You’re what!” he says his blue eyes staring into mine.
“I’m moving.” I say again.
He cups my face in his hands and caresses my face with his fingers. I close my eyes at his touch and I can feel his face move into kiss me. It’s a soft sweet kiss that turns more passionate. “Baby, don’t leave me.” He says in between our kisses.
I pull back and stare at him, “Make love to me.” I say softly and climb into the back seat of his car.
“Here now?” he asks looking at me as I climb over the seat.
“Please Jake, I need you, I need to remember you. All of you.” I say pulling the straps of my shirt down.
He nods his head and climbs in the back seat with me. I slowly undress and he does the same. Lying on top of me naked he kisses my neck and lips and I close my eyes scared of what is going to happen next. I guess he can feel the tension in my body and he stops, “Are you sure Alexa?”
I bit my lower lip and nod yes. Smiling at me he kisses me and then slides into me. It’s painful at first as he takes his time. He knows it’s my first time and he is so tender and sweet with me. I wrap my arms around his body as he pushes harder into me. This hurts. I want him to stop but I don’t want him to stop. I turn my head away and bit down harder on my lip as he continues this pace.
I dig my nails into his back and his head shots up at the pain I caused him, “Sorry.” I mumble.
“It’s okay. Are you okay?” he asks looking down at me.
“I’m okay, please don’t stop.” I take his lips into mine and I kiss him hard as he finishes.
“I love you…” He says softly.
I let a tear roll down my cheek knowing that, that is the last time I will ever hear him say that. I have no clue where we are going or how long we are going to be there. I don’t want to leave him, I never want to leave him. I throw my leg over his waist and he pulls me close to him as he hold onto each other. “I love you too Jake.” I say softly.
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