John glanced into the bedroom, from where he sat on the sofa, for at least the 100th time. The room was dim, but he could easily see throughout the apartment. Evangeline was asleep in his bed – a place he never expected to see her again. Until recently, he had hopes of getting her back; hopes of a future with her, but the killer put things into perspective. Evangeline was in danger because of him. Regardless of what she thought, he was responsible.
When he’d walked into her apartment earlier and seen the damage done by the killer, he felt his heart jump into his throat. What was he supposed to do if something happened to her? Seeing her standing in the doorway had produced a sense of relief that John was unable to describe. Then that note had been left on Evangeline’s bed by the killer. John could read between the lines.
The killer was telling him that he could get to Evangeline at any time. He’d been to her office and in her home. While he had told her that maybe now she would be safe since they weren’t together, he had meant from any future targeting. This killer knew how John felt about Evangeline and would continue to try getting to John through her. He knew he could and would keep her safer than anyone else, thus her in his bed. John couldn’t deny that he liked her there. He couldn’t believe how much he’d missed her – how much he would continue to miss her.
Telling her earlier that just having her at the office with him helped, was just the truth. That Evangeline was unsure of his feelings for her saddened him, but now he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted her to know. Evangeline was the strongest woman he knew and if he was able to give her what she needed, nothing would make her leave him.
John had been so lost in thought that he didn’t notice Evangeline tossing and turning until he heard his name. She was having a nightmare and was calling out to him. He had to smile. John moved quickly to the bed and sat next to her. Sliding his fingers into her hair, he softly called her name. Evangeline must have heard him since she turned to his voice, but she didn’t wake.
Suddenly, her eyes opened and she sat up in the bed. Evangeline looked at John and started sobbing. John took her into his arms and held her for the first time in a long time. He mumbled soft words of comfort and stroked his hand up and down her back. When she finally composed herself, she pulled back and looked at him.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Anytime. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not particularly.”
“It’ll make you feel better.” When she only looked at him, he said, “I want to be here for you if you’ll let me. That’s what I always wanted – for you to let me take care of you sometimes. Part of what’s been so hard has been not having a clue how you’re really doing. Do you have any idea how hard that is on me?”
“Actually, I do. I feel the same way, but I don’t know where to draw the line.”
“How about for tonight we don’t draw a line? We are two people here for each other,” he said. Then he remembered their second time together, so he added, “no sex, just two friends being there for each other. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to make love with you, but I don’t think either of us is up to it.”
“I’d have to agree,” she said.
“Now, tell me about the dream.”
“It was just a replay of what happened while I was taken and the fire rescue. I don’t know. I know Natalie is alive, but I keep dreaming about telling her that we either get away together or not at all and then she disappears. I mean, I’m relieved that I’m home, but I promised her that I wouldn’t leave her and she’s out there somewhere going through who knows what.”
“Evangeline, it’s not your fault that Natalie is gone.”
“It’s not yours either. You did your job. That’s all.”
“And in the process I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, me too,” she said with a soft smile.
“I’m glad you came home with me.”
“Me, too. There’s no one I feel safer with.”
He smiled and leaned in pressing his forehead to hers. John felt her shudder and saw her eyes close. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss that held promise. When he opened his eyes, a single tear rolled down Evangeline’s cheek. In the moment her eyes opened, he saw the love there. She was hurt, but she still loved him. There was no way he could let her go, not completely.
“You still love me,” he said.
“I could never deny that.”
“I’m glad. When this is all over, I’m getting you back.”
“John…”
“Don’t say anything. Just know that I’m not giving up on us,” he said pulling her to his chest and lying down with her in his arms. She sighed and he saw her eyes close. In a few short moments, he felt her chest rise and fall in slumber.
John knew he was fighting an uphill battle, but now he knew it was a battle he could win. First, he had to find Natalie. Once she was safe, he could focus his energy on what was really important – Evangeline. He knew she would still potentially be in danger being involved with him, but anyone with eyes could see what she meant to him whether they were together or not. So, why not have it all with her? He didn’t deserve her, but she loved him and he loved her. What more was there?