Chapter 1
“But you kept on searching/Both Land and Sea/ I sing Hallelujah that you Found Me…”
Dusk had settled over Llanview and lights were flickering on outside Evangeline’s office windows.
“Evangeline, okay if I come in?” Blair asked, looking abashed standing in the office door. “I need to say sorry for the tossed drink and the rant.”
Evangeline leaned back in her chair as she beckoned Blair to enter. She did a mental check to see if she was wearing any colors or fabrics that would hold a stain if Blair lost it again and tossed something else at her.
“I really am sorry about the misdirected anger,” said Blair, “I saw you but I was aiming for Todd! At least I was in my mind.” Blair watched as Evangeline nodded cautiously. “I swear if not for my kids I would be ready to take my place in the Cramer family wing at St. Anne’s.”
“Blair!” Van struggled not to laugh at Blair’s offhand comment; she knew the emotional stress Blair was enduring. “It’s alright, really. You didn’t get my hair so we’re cool.”
“Now that’s my kind of thinking!” Blair said laughing, “I AM sorry and I’m back in control. I’ve washed Todd out of my hair”wherever he is.”
“Blair, do you really think Todd just abandoned his family? Doesn’t seem to fit what I know of him and have heard about him where you’re concerned. Why would he change tactics now?” Van wondered.
“Don’t know. Working on not caring. Aside from apologizing profusely I want to replace the clothes I probably ruined. The goings gotten tough, so the tough need to shop, I’m going into Manhattan tomorrow to spend a significant amount of Todd’s cash. Care to join me?” There was the slightest note of pleading in Blair’s voice, laced with agony that Evangeline picked up on and responded to. She and Blair knew each other causally and were friendly enough now that the bitterness of the rape trial was behind everyone. But neither had ever sought out the other for girlfriend time.
Still, Evangeline was intrigued by Blair and her bad girl reputation. Blair certainly never seemed to doubt her ability to pull and hold the man of her choice, no matter who else lays claim to him. And it always seemed to be Blair’s choice”she never stood around waiting to be chosen. Blair’s ruthless acquisition and dismissal of men was legendary in Llanview.
“My clothes are fine, Blair. But I can always stand to add to my closets.” Evangeline looked thoughtful, shook out her hair and said “I haven’t shopped til I dropped for ages now, love to join you.”
Blair smiled and said, “Really? Great! Do you want to come to the penthouse or should I pick you up?”
“Why don’t we just meet at the train station?” asked Evangeline.
“Train? No. I’m blowing TONS of Todd’s money; for that we must be driven. I’ve already lined up a car and driver. Besides, I heard about what happened to you at the train station. You can’t want to go there if you don’t have to.”
“Well, I won’t let a racist nut job stop me from living my life. But I certainly don’t mind being chauffeured. Your place, say 9:30?”
“That’ll be great.” Blair responded, “See you tomorrow morning.”
The next morning found Evangeline sipping coffee at Blair’s when her cell rang. She instantly recognized John’s direct work line. “Good morning, you.” John said, a sleepy tone making his voice even deeper.
“It is morning and it’s shaping up to be a good day.” responded Van, “How are you?”
“Missing you. I haven’t really rested in what seems like weeks. It has been a long time since our last full night together.” John said, then he started to chuckle into her silence, “Too much information?”
“Aaah, no. No, it’s great information. I’ve missed us too.” she sighed into the phone, “Lets make just us time, can we?” No work talk”I don’t want to fight. And since you’re being direct I will too: I just want to make love all night into the day.”
He quickly responded, “Where? How soon? And I haven’t forgotten we still haven’t had our uninterrupted day together. The one we were planning when Tico got shot and Cristian turned up alive, if not totally well.”
“Is tonight too soon? Can you break away from work?”
“I will get away, but it’ll be after 8 p.m. Do you want to meet me for a coffee lunch?”
“John, I can’t. I’m heading to New York with Blair. A late dinner is good. 9?”
You and Blair?” John queried, “Sounds like a story. Tell me tonight, have fun.”
Evangeline clicked off and went to the windows to look at the view.
“So it’s true. You and the Chief of Detectives are closer than close. Your summer fling has gone into a new year.” Blair commented while picking up her deep maroon suede coat and putting it over her arm. “Shall we go?”
Evangeline’s expressive eyes widened as she beat back a blush she felt heating her cheeks. She never knew whether she was pleased others’ saw them as a couple or alarmed that people were paying attention to hers and John’s private life. “We have the same taste in suede, Blair.” Van glanced from Blair’s coat to her own plum colored suede jacket. “Shopping together should be fun.”
“Ah, sidestepping are we? Well, we’ll be in the car for enough time for me to thoroughly grill you.” There was a mischievous gleam in Blair’s eyes, “Gotta tell you, if McBain had a different job I’d have given him more than a passing glance.” “Different job?” “The Cramer women rarely stay outside the danger zones. John would be arresting relatives of mine”or me”on too regular a basis for us to have had even a little fling. He is sexy, though. Sexy, sexy, sexy. And tall.” Blair drawled as she studied Evangeline. “And your body language and eyes suggest that I don’t know the half of how accomplished he is. John strikes me as….thorough.”
Evangeline bit back a smile and exited to the elevator, visions of just how thoroughly accomplished John was swirling behind her eyes.
Van and Blair collapsed into a booth as Manhattan’s throngs went by their window. After placing their food orders they raised their wine glasses in a toast to shopping. Van looked at Blair “You certainly know all the best places to shop from funky boutiques to designer showrooms and they all know you.”
Leaning back against the cushions Blair shrugged, “The first time I married Todd was right before he came into the Lord money. When he was found to be the heir he was VERY generous with his wife. We invented bling bling. I used to own a cosmetics company”I met everyone involved in any major way in the fashion and beauty world. I’ve kept up my contacts. I love clothes.”
“You and Todd have a long history”
“Oh yes, long and utterly tortured.” Blair cracked. “But before we stopped trusting each other…before he found out I tricked him into marrying me”don’t ask, we were magic. Our bond was unshakeable. We had become tight friends and comrades in mayhem long before we married. We were fierce and feared; we totally got each other, knew and trusted one another. We’ve been trying to get back to that place ever since, and failing miserably.”
Blair took a long drink from her wine then pushed the food around on her plate, “You and John have ‘it’ too. Heads turn when you’re together. You two change the dynamic of every room when you enter it.”
“Stop. You’re joking” Van said in amazement.
“No, I’m not. I’ve watched John watching you. He’s not capable of being indifferent to your presence. Oh, he’s cool. But he’s watching you come towards him; he’s checking out the heads you turn. McBain knows every secret flame that burns for you.”
“No.”
“Yes. It’s a great thing. A man who is secure enough in the relationship to be aware and amused by the other men who want his woman. Unruffled, calmly possessive, taking pride in her desirability and thrilled that it’s all for him. You and John. Me and Todd, marriage no.1.”
Evangeline was flustered and flabbergasted by Blair’s observations. She wanted it to be true and was frightened it was true. Her feelings for John were already difficult enough to hold at bay. She was capable of losing hours in thought over the man. Remembering times together, feeling his hands move over her, his voice after lovemaking, his cries of pleasure during. She was already much too caught up in John McBain. Too aware of him, too needful of him, waaay too vulnerable in his presence while trying not to think of a future with him in it.
It was nearing 7 p.m. when the car carrying Blair and Evangeline crossed into the Lantano County limits. “Evangeline, hope you won’t have to dash around like a crazed woman to get ready to see John.” They both had their long legs resting on the opposite seat as they sipped soft drinks. “No, I’ll get home in time to put stuff away and get myself ready. I had so much fun, Blair.”
“I had fun too. You know, there’s nothing wrong with letting the man know you need him. You don’t need rescuing”what smart woman does? But that doesn’t mean you don’t need him or want to be needed by him. Grown-up to grown-up.” Blair glanced out the window reflective and more than a little sad, “Todd and I have wasted years not saying clearly what we want and need from each other. You’re not a game player like I’ve been but you don’t seem very willing to tap into your emotions. Let them take you where you need to go so you can say what must be said by somebody in a relationship.”
Evangeline’s laughter took Blair by surprise, more so when Van couldn’t seem to stop laughing. Blair leaned over to where Van was doubled up on the seat, practically falling on to the floor from laughing so hard. “What’d I say?” Both of Blair’s eyebrows were raised.
“Oh Blair, letting feelings take over is EXACTLY how John and I got together in the first place.” Then Evangeline fell back in her seat and continued to laugh.
As the driver piled her purchases on the sofa Van looked at Blair “I’m really going to have to up my billable hours to make a dent in what I’ve just spent.”
“Yes, but you’ll look so good while you’re racking up the hours, the pay and the court wins. Thanks again for coming with, Van, and lets do something again soon.” Blair’s eyes danced and she gave an evil grin “Here’s a vision if Todd ever returns and lives long enough picture this: me and Todd, you and John, Dorian and David, Kelly and God-forbid but probably Kevin around a dinner table sharing a meal. Toss in RJ and Lindsey, Daniel and Nora, and Bo and whoever he’s with now, Paige? Can’t you see the guys trying to make polite, idol chitchat over sports or something?”
“John doesn’t do idol chitchat; although he is usually polite no matter what.” Van had a clear picture of the women trying to keep the conversation going and the men out of each other’s faces. Still, she was happy to hear someone besides Nora and Michael speaking as though she and John were the done deal. Fated to be mated.
As the car whisked Blair away Van said out loud “Don’t want the nonstop drama but everyone knows Todd loves Blair. Must be great to know she’s loved by him no matter what. He isn’t always there right when she needs him but he does always show up eventually.” Deep in wistful thoughts she put away her purchases, showered, changed and turned her attention to the night stretching out ahead of her with John.
“The Moon had slipped behind a cloud/Like a single wave on a Lonely Beach/I thought I was lost beyond your reach…”
John was still at work 20 minutes past his mental designation of time to leave. He wanted to go home, change and upgrade his attitude before seeing Evangeline. They had been having these nonstop heated and tense discussions bordering on fights lately. Ever since the impromptu talks about marriage and commitment. Now it seemed as though a fight simmered beneath the words of every conversation. Only in bed were they completely in synch, totally together with the only tension their want, hunger and thirst for each other.
Still, lately work called him in each time and he hated leaving her. She always understood it was just the way of the job. But he never wanted her to think he was there to quench his need of her then leave her.
When he looked at his watch again it was 8:20 p.m. “Damn it! I’m out and God help anyone who tries to detain me.” John stuck his head in Bo’s office to say he was leaving “Fine,” Bo said, “and I’ll make it clear you’re not to get called in for anything. You’ve been pulling ridiculous hours. A night off, dare I say two? can only do you good. Goodnight and John, don’t think about work.”
John debated swinging by his room first and decided to just head to Evangeline’s. He took off his tie and undid a few shirt buttons then pointed his car to her house.
Van had just realized she had no idea about dinner. Was John expecting them to fix a meal at her place, go out or order in? Maybe he was bringing food? She started to call when she heard his car pull into her drive. She had the door open before he got too far up the walk. “You’re early. I’m shocked.” she said looking up at him as he entered her home. He kissed her on the top of her head then on her forehead. It registered on her how tired he looked and strengthened her resolve of no shop talk.
“Actually, I’m later than I planned. I couldn’t break out of work before 8 so I’m still in work gear.” John took in her gray jeans and sweater, “You’re in my clothes. All casual.”
“Well, since I see you’re empty-handed I can order in. You can shower or take a bath; and I actually have two of your sweaters and some sweats here. You too can dress down.” Her eyes glinted and gleamed in the living room light, “Or you can shower or take a bath, light a fire in the bedroom and stay out of any and all clothes. Never let it be said I don’t offer you options.”
Recovering from his surprise John ran two fingers down her cheek, lingered on her throat, “We can eat in bed?” “We can eat in bed, but not food, no.” Van laughed outright with glee at successfully shocking him. “First things first, I need to place an order otherwise it’ll be pizza. You do whatever makes you happy.” With that she headed to the kitchen for her stash of menus and the phone.
John moved towards the kitchen door, just enough to catch sight of her as he contemplated foregoing food and just having her. They’d done that before and the woman had nothing in her kitchen to eat beyond fruit and ice cream. Better to order in and reheat it later. He turned and went to the bathroom off her bedroom and decided on a bath.
John had sunk deeply into the relaxation offered by a hot bath. He’d tossed a handful of colorful bath beads in on a whim and he surrendered to exhaustion. He didn’t hear Van come into the bedroom; he was nodding off and didn’t see her in the bathroom door. “Hey, don’t drown sleeping in my tub.” Concern was in her eyes and laced her voice as she woke him up. “Does the word vacation mean anything to you? Time off? Rest?”
“Plenty of rest when I’m dead.” John said sleepily.
“Okay, that’s REALLY not funny. You have a dangerous job, I deal with the possibility of a call every day, every minute.” Her voice shook and he sat up alarmed.
“Cop humor, sorry. I didn’t know you worried about that, Evangeline.”
“I’m not obsessive on it, just aware; and you’ve been lucky. So far.” Van pushed several damp tendrils back from his face, “Food’s here get out of the tub and dry off. Are you dressing or haven’t you decided yet?”
“No crumbs in the bed, I’m ok with that. I’ll light a fire, let’s eat in front of the bed on the floor. Clothing optional, lady’s choice.”
“A nude picnic? And we’d actually consume the food? You don’t have that much self-control.” Van laughed. “I do.” “You don’t.”
He looked her up and down. Against his will he was made very aware of his physical reaction to her. Standing up to get out of the tub would prove her point. “Where are my sweats?” She smirked knowingly and went back into the bedroom.
Evangeline and John were intertwined on the couch. Both were slightly drowsy, breathing together, letting the music flow over and around them. John’s body was wrapped around Van’s and he’d pulled her in as close and tight as she could stand. He sighed deeply to finally be able to hold her for as long as they wanted.
Evangeline turned her head to see if John was awake at the same time he placed his hand on her chin to bring her in for a kiss. The kiss deepened as he turned her body into his; the song seeped into his ears: “Wrapped me up and took me home/made my body strong/ rocked me all through the night/dried m tears and gave me sight/took this old piece of broken heart pumped it up and made it start.” He pulled slightly out of their embrace and listened “Brought into my life such happiness/all mixed-up but you brought out the best/every bridge I met you helped me across/never once gave me up for lost/gave me something I could build on when all my dreams and all my hopes were gone/lost alone out in the cold so long/now I got a place that I can call home…Been Found.”
“What is this?” he asked. Van opened her eyes and gazed at him slightly confused. “The song, who is this?” As always it took her a few moments to resurface from the waves of feelings he set off in her. Laying her head on his chest she listened for a bit, “Oh. Old cd Been Found Ashford and Simpson with Maya Angelou. It’s a favorite of mine, do you like it?”
It’s uh, uh perceptive.” He coughed and looked at his watch. “John, take off your watch. You’re not going anywhere tonight. You said Bo forbid anyone from interrupting our evening.”
“He did and so did I. I’m just exhausted and really it’s not that late. I shouldn’t feel this tired.” John stretched and wrapped her back in his arms.
“The hours you work? Your inability to shut down your mind and mentally offload your cases? Of course you’re exhausted. Come upstairs and I’ll give you a massage. You’ll sleep better afterwards.” Evangeline pulled him to his feet and they headed upstairs.
“Turn on the speakers in your bedroom; I want to continue listening to the music.”
”Okay.”
They reached the bedroom and John stripped down and lay across the bed on his back watching Van through half-closed eyes. Feeling his eyes gliding over her body Evangeline lets her clothes slowly fall away. She turns in a slow circle before him just out of his reach. Her laughter is sultry as she backs away from his seeking hands, goes to the drawer and slips into a bronze nightgown that whispers over her body as the hem hits the floor.
John looks at her perplexed. “John, you’re tired. Not that you aren’t willing and able but really, I’ll be here in the morning. Let me give you a backrub then we’ll sleep in each other’s arms, ok?”
“I thought you wanted to make love all night into the morning.”
“Well, I’m agreeable to all morning into the night.”
“But I want you.”
“And you’ll have me. Tomorrow.”
“It’s past midnight, tomorrow’s here.”
“John. If you’re still this hungry after the backrub I’m more than happy to be dessert. Roll over.”
A harsh laugh escapes him “easier said than done” he says while trying to get comfortable on his stomach.
Looking at his muscled torso Evangeline takes several deep breaths thinking “I need to concern myself with my own will power. I’m giving him a backrub with my hands not my mouth and tongue.” Placing warm oil in her hands she straddles his back and lets her hands slide and glide over his shoulders and down his back. She hears his muffled moan, feels him shift uneasily between her thighs. Pressing a little harder on his bunched-up muscles hears him moan in pleasure again and start to relax under her fingers.
Thirty minutes later Van leans against his back, reaches for his fingers and massages each one. “Evangeline,” John’s voice is even softer than usual “that was wonderful. You feel….there are no words.”
Van stretches her body out on top of John’s, hears his breathing deepen and knows he’s in a much needed restful sleep. Kissing his shoulders, turning her head she smiles against his back and relaxes into sleep.
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